SICK
by Candied
Summary: Then, I realized his eyes were closed. His mouth was agape. Those red locks were mussed beyong reason. He hadn't even woken up. THAT. BASTARD. ALMOST. SHOT ME! AU, AxelRoxas, yaoi, lemonlime. Read and review!
1. Smiling in the face of death

S!CK

By Candied

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts one, two, Chain of Memories, or any of the characters in them. All I own is the plot line of this story and the city it takes place in, so no suing. Suing me is not cool, dude. Don't do it.

Author's notes: Ok, so here's chapter one. It's pretty depressing, and I didn't jump right in to the main plot line, because then it would be boring. However, the chapter is still very much vital to the story, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is a yaoi story, so if you don't like boy-lovin's, don't read it. Also, it is a little morbid, and rated for violence, swearing, and adult content. This story is written from the perspective of Roxas, Axel, and a little of Dmyx. Now that that's done, enjoy the first chapter.

Chapter one: Smiling in the face of death

I walked the streets of this city alone, a backpack slung over my shoulder. The bitter breeze swept coldly over my face, and through my untamed blonde hair. From time to time, my cerulean eyes would wander to those of the people passing me on the streets. Not once were they greeted by the gaze of another. I was... **alone**. Alone in the streets of this solemn city.

My blue gaze shifted to the grey clouds hovering above me in the sky, threatening to pour rain as far as the eye could see over the rooftops of the skyscrapers. Soon, I would be truely alone, walking in the rain as the other inhabitants of this city were seaking shelter. How fitting.

The rain did fall, wetting my hair and clothes, cold droplets running down my face as I slipped some keys out from my pocket. I placed one hand on the door to my apartment I had finally made it to. When I opened it, there was silence. My mother wasn't home. I wasn't surprised, and made my way into the kitchen. I grabbed a beer from the fridge, the beer actually belonging to my mother's boyfriend, and sat down on the couch in the un-cared for living room. I couldn't have cared less that I was soaked from head to toe, not even bothering to wipe the bitterly cold water from my face.

I took hold of the television remote next to me on the side table, and presed the 'power' button. Instantly, the electronic box came to life, a woman from the news channel's voice blaring out of the speakers.

_"- thirteen were killed,"_ she said emotionlessly, and I chuckled solemnly to myself, noting that I must have taken longer getting home today. I never missed the beginning of the news.

_"In other news, a boy from P.S. 114 killed himself today, by jumping off the roof of the school. Staff from the school say-" _

I clicked the 'power' button on the remote once more, and again the TV was lifeless. I closed my eyes, and put a hand to my chest as I felt the pain overwhelm me. Tears were stinging at my eyes, but I shook my head in protest.

"I won't cry!" I told the salty water that filled my eyes, "I promised him I wouldn't cry!"

And just like that, the memory from earlier that day swept over me as if I had actually been taken back in time

_"Roxas..." _

_I looked up at my friend, Hayner, as I sat on the edge of the roof of P.S. 114, next to him._

_"Yeah?" I asked him, my blue eyes questioning his chocolate ones._

_The boy ran a hand though his sandy blonde hair, looking away from me, to the sky._

_"Do you ever feel... incomplete?"_

_I nodded my head. "Yeah, but then I remember what great friends I have." I flashed him a wide grin._

_"No, I meant something else. A feeling that doesn't go away. A feeling like... you're not good enough." He looked at his hands, as though they held the answers to the greatest questions of life. Then, he continued on, "A feeling like... you don't even deserve the life you've been given."_

_I raised a blonde eyebrow to his question, my eyes searching for the meaning behind this in his face. "Is this about your dad?"_

_Hayner sighed, letting his hands fall beside him, now giving me an angered look. "No! This is about **me**."_

_My gaze sheepishly looked to the ground. "Ok, sorry."_

_The other shook his head, "Look, I didn't bring you up here to fight," he grinned at me, to let me know he wasn't mad, but I saw another emotion in his eyes that I couldn't place._

_"Why did you bring me up here?" I asked, trying to see through that calm smile. It wasn't unusual for us to be up here, though. We often just hung out here, staring at the scenery until the sun went down._

_Hayner stood, and placed one foot on the raised edge of the building, staring off into the horizon._

_"To say goodbye," he replied, now turning those coffee-colored eyes to my contrasting blue orbs, "to my best friend."_

_I stood now, my heart sinking at the thought of my best friend's departure. "You're leaving?! Where are you going?" My sadness must have shown on my face, because he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder._

_He smiled at me for a moment, before staring back at the sky. "To the after-life."_

_My face turned to that of shock, his words hitting me like a brick wall. I placed both my hands on his shoulders, "HAYNER-!"_

_"Roxas..." he cut me off, "I've already decided." He pushed up the sleeves of his hoodie, and I could see some fresh bruises along with the old ones, and some old scars. He rubbed his hands together, as if he was somehow preparing himself, and he moved over to peer off the edge of the building, at the ground five stories below. "I'm not afraid anymore."_

_I could feel the fear make iteself into a ball in my throat, and choked on it as I tried to speak. "Hayner..."_

_He turned to me once more, putting our hands together like he did every time we said goobye. We had out usual friendly hug, which I was failing to make much emphasis upon, and I felt my heart stop beating in my chest. At least, it seemed that way._

_"Roxas," he began, his voice soft now, soothing, "I wanted to share this moment with you. The happiest moment of my life, with the best friend I could ever ask for."_

_I tried to speak again, but all that came out was a helpless whimper. I didn't know what to say._

_"I don't want you to cry," he continued, obviously sensing my sadness, though he could not see my face. "I'm happy, Roxas. I'll finally be happy."_

_Again, I tried to speak, but instead, this time it was a cough._

_"Promise me, Roxas. Promise me you won't cry."_

_I knew there was nothing I could do. I couldn't even speak. I nodded my head in silence._

_He then broke our friendly embrace, and moved torward the edge, standing on it and turning torwards me. He made a fist, but left his index and pinky finger pointed upward, in the 'devil horns' symbol we used to great eachother._

_"Best friends, forever, Roxas. You and me."_

_I watched as though it was slow motion as his body leaned back to fall, a happy smile on his face as he descended._

_I quickly regained my bearings and ran to grab his hand, calling out to him as I did._

_"HAYNER!"_

_I was too slow. I watched his body, it was as if he was falling very slowly, very surrealy to the ground, ever smiling up at me._

_And then he hit the ground, his blood spilling out over the cement below. The sound of his bones breaking and head splitting echoed in my mind. It was a discusting sight, I couldn't even tell that body lying on the ground was that of my best friend. The friend I watched die._

"Roxas..." I heard my mother's voice giggle out, as she stumbled drunkenly into the apartment.

I snapped out of the haunting memory, and gazed over to her as if she was the devil.

"Stay away from me." I grabbed my beer, and released my glare from her, downing the beer on the way to my bedroom.

Apparently, it hadn't taken her long to forget about me, because I could hear her and her boyfriend in the living room, making noises that no child wants to hear their parents make.

I beat my fist into the wall, and screamed at my plaster enemy.

"Sixteen years of shit!" I yelled, furious about my sad excuse for a life.

"It can't be that bad." I heard a voice say, and turned to see a brunette, about my age, his hair spiked in a way even more unruly than my own, with ocean eyes much deeper in color than mine.

I wasn't particularly fond of the cheerful grin he wore on that innocent face as he sat on my bed, either.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked him, shooting him a solid glare.

Either he didn't notice, or didn't care though, because he just smiled at me, as if we were long time friends. "The name's Sora. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Roxas."

"Shut up!" I yelled at him, but he just pouted at me. I shook my head in anger, and again punched the wall. "How do you know me, anyway?"

The boy, Sora, seemed surprised. "I've always known you, Roxas. Ever since we were born."

I raised my eyebrow, and gave him a strange look. "What? We...? What do you mean, 'we'?"

He laughed, and shook his head, standing now. I noticed that he moved his hands around a lot when he spoke.

"Roxas... I'm **you.**"

I shook my head, and tossed the bear can at him, earning me a pout.

"Listen, Sora, I don't know who you are, or what you want from me, but get the fuck out. I'm not in the mood for this."

He smiled, and layed down on my bed.

"I said, GET THE FUCK OUT!"

He chuckled, and grinned at me. "I can't do that, Roxas."

My door opened, and I turned to see my drunken mother peering about my room. "Who are you talking to?" she asked.

I pointed to the tresspasser, "HIM!"

She stared at my bed for a moment, before looking back at me. I had gotten my blue gaze from my mother.

"Honey, seriously. It's not funny," she replied, her speech a bit slurred. She thought I was messing with her?

"No, really, mom, that kid on my bed." She looked at my bed blankly. "RIGHT THERE!" I yelled now.

I could hear Sora sit up, letting out a sigh. "She can't see me, Roxas."

I growled at my mother, before turning to glare at this punk. "And why is that, Sora!?" I yelled, spitting his own name at him like venom.

He grinned. "Because I'm in your mind."

My hand moved up to pull at my blonde locks, my eyes squeezed shut in fury as I let out a yell.

My mother walked into the room, and put a hand on my shoulder softly, seemingly concerned about her only son.

"Maybe you need to see a therepist." It seemed as though I had ruined her drunk.

"What I **need** is for you to stay the fuck out of my business!" I scoffed back, dropping my hands to my sides and glaring at this woman that called herself my mother.

She let go, and moved out of the room. "I'm going to set up an appointment for you with a therepist. I heard about Hayner..." she paused, looking at me as she started to close the door. "It's a traumatic experience."

I glared at the door as she left, before turning back to this strange boy.

"Explain yourself."

He smiled, straightening himself up, as though it were a pleasure to tell me what was going on. "It's simple, really," he replied, that same cheerful grin on his face, "I'm the other you. The voice in your head. You couldn't deal with the loss of your best friend, and that's why I'm here."

I shook my head. "So what you're telling me... is that I'm crazy?"

He made a strange face, that seemed to say 'A little of column A, a little of column B.' He then looked to me again. "I like to call it, 'Inablility to cope with reality.' It makes it sound nicer."

This was insane. There was no way this was happening. Maybe I did need a therepist...

"Well, that's what most phsychiatrists would say," Sora replied to my thoughts, "But I think you'll like it better this way. Now you won't feel so alone."

He could hear my thoughts. Maybe he really was me.

"I am you." he replied to my thoughts again.

"Stop that!" I demanded. This was too much. I had to get away. I grabbed my coat, and headed into the hallway. When I made it to the living room, he was leaning against the door, smiling.

"Then I'll come with you!" he said enthusiasticly.

My mother and her boyfriend stared at me, as I entered into a fit of rage.

"NO YOU WILL NOT!"

I punched at him, but he moved, and my hand went into the steel door. I clutched it, the pain throbbing in my knuckles.

"You'll pay for that." I said to him through gritted teeth.

He smiled and shook his head. "Go to sleep, you'll feel better about all this in the morning."

Author's notes: I hope you enjoyed chapter one. I'm going to go ahead and get chapter two out of the way now, so you can have more to read! Sorry to all the Hayner fans for killing him off, but that's just the way story goes. If you're wondering about when Axel will show up, don'y worry. I plan on his appearance in chapter two. Again, thanks for reading, and please review! I'll have chapter two up in a few hours, so look forward to that! But seriously, reviews make me want to write even more... so do it.


	2. It's all in your head

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Yay, chapter two! I really hope you enjoy this chapter, it's been a lot of fun writing it! Also, I feel the need to mention that though Sora doesn't get as much dialoge in this chapter, that doesn't mean he's not speaking. Roxas just isn't listening.

HoplesslyxXxLost, thank you for your review! Yes, Roxas has lost it, and I'm glad you like it so far.

Enjoy!

Chapter two: It's all in your head.

I felt the sunlight move across my closed eyes as it poured in the window, and grunted, pulling the sheets over my face. I heard movement in my room, and opened one of my eyes.

There he was, my intruder, sitting on the chair to my computer desk, staring at me.

At first, I didn't know who he was, but soon the memories came back, and I felt my heart once again sink into the pit of my stomach.

"Good morning," said my tresspasser, giving me a goofy smile. If he was trying to cheer me up... It wasn't working.

I grunted at him and sat up. My eyes threatened to close as I squinted at Sora, wishing he would just dissapear. My eyes then wandered to the clock beside my bed, reading the bright red numbers. 10:15am.

"Shit!" I said, immediately waking up.

"You missed school," Sora stated, plainly speaking the obvious.

I rubbed my head and groaned at him. "She didn't wake me... again."

I stood and walked over to my closet, grabbing some clothes to wear for the day; some jeans and a black sweater. I didn't really feel like wearing real colors on a day like this. I then turned to Sora, my clothes draped off my arm.

"Just don't follow me into the shower, ok?"

He grinned at me and gave me a thumbs-up. "No problem."

I trudged my way to the bathroom, grabbing a towel on the way. I undressed and got in, letting the warm water roll down my back, soothing me. My eyes glanced to my mother's razor, looking over it as though it were an escape.

"You could do it too, you know..." came Sora's voice from outside the bathroom, "Oops!" he continued with a slight chuckle, "Sorry, sometimes I can't control my self, being your inner voice and all."

I sighed and shook my head. I knew my life wasn't that bad. I just wanted to get rid of _him_.

"Leave me alone," I grumbled, continuing with my shower, and not looking back to the razor. I finished up, and got dressed, walking out of the bathroom only to see Sora's form sitting against the wall in the hallway. I shook my head, and walked to my room. I grabbed my keys and wallet, stuffing the latter into my back pocket, and headed for the door.

"To the bridge?" I heard Sora ask from behing me.

I nodded my head, shrugging and opening the door to leave.

I took the subway downtown, Sora following me all the way. When I got out of the subway, I could smell the sewer stench, and looked at the discusting, moldy and cracked tiles of the subway platform. Silently, we went up the stairs to the outside, where we could see the prostitutes, drug addicts, and dealers glaring at us. Me. Glaring at _me_.

I payed them no attention as I turned down a street, Hayner's street, walking right past his decrepid building. I had always felt bad for Hayner. He lived in the shittiest part of town, his mother had died when he was young, and his father became an abusive alcoholic. I mean, yeah, my mother drank on occassion, but not like that. Not like Hayner's dad.

I pushed him out of my mind, and walked up to the center of the bridge we had just reached, sitting on the side rail, feet dangling over, above the water.

I could feel Sora's presence beside me.

"Ya know, bottling up your emotions isn't good for you."

I closed my eyes.

"Shut up."

I opened them again, and it was as though I could still see Hayner sitting there beside me, laughing and joking with me.

_He always seemed so happy. _

"Happiness is the best cover for sadness," Sora responded to my thought.

"Is that why _you_ seem so happy?" I growled at him.

He put his index fingers inside his moth, and stretched out his lips as he crossed his eyes, sticking his tongue out at me.

I chuckled slightly at his face. After all, he did look ridiculous.

"I thought I told you to shut up." I replied to him.

He shot me a pout, and I returned the favor. That is, until I heard laughter.

My blue gaze shifted to the source; a man with longish, spikey red hair. He was a fair distance away, so I couldn't make out much about his face. He was leaning against the wall of a rundown building, a shop that had gone out of business, and apparently he was watching me.

"Fuck you!" I called out to him, giving him the corresponding finger. "What do you know about what I'm going through!?"

He didn't respond, instead just simply waling away, raising a hand tom me as I watched his back, as though he were brushing me off.

_Dick._

"You gotta admit though, you probably do look crazy." Sora said in a hushed whisper.

"It's your fault!" I yelled at him, jumping back onto the bridge from the railing, "Just leave me alone!"

I headed back torwards the station, angered by the footsteps I heard behind me.

I bought my ticket, and boarded the train, taking an empty seat, and Sora took one next to me. In my mind, I thought it would be funny if a real person were to sit where he was.

Sora turned to me and glared. "Hey, that's not funny!"

I chuckled, and looked away from him.

"You know," Sora continued, "You have some anger issues."

"Just **shut up**!" I called out, glaring at him.

It was then that I realized everyone in the compartment was staring at me. I looked up at the other passengers sheepishly, when I saw him. The red-haired creep. He was laughing again.

I furrowed my brow, glaring at him. "Freak." _How could he find so much pleasure in someone else's pain?_

He seemed to find this funny as well, seeing as how he chuckled some more. He took the seat beside me opposite Sora, and grinned at me. "I'm not the one talking to people no one else can see."

I crossed my arms and looked straight forward, so that I didn't have to look at either him or Sora. "What do you know?" I mumbled.

His face became serious, and he faced me. "More than you think."

I turned to look at him again, now noticing the triangular tatooes under his eyes. I also noticed his black, zip-up hoodie, with the words 'Fuck off' written across in in bold white letters. I raised my eyebrow to him, encouraging him to continue.

"Invisible people is what I do," he explained, "Getting rid of them is my business. Or, it is now anyway."

I looked him over some more, trying to take in just who this guy was. I was almost amazed by his teal eyes; they seemed so unreal. Actually, kinda creepy. I wondered if they were contacts.

"Nah," Sora said next to me, "There's no line around the iris."

I felt my face twitch at the sound of Sora's voice, and I think the red-head noticed, because he smirked.

"What's your name, anyway?" I asked the strange man. He seemed to be a few years older than me, nineteen at least.

He leaned back in his seat putting his hands behind his head, not looking at me. "Axel. A-X-E-L." He then turned his eyes to me with a grin. "Got it memorized?"

I felt my face twist. This guy was weird. "Yeah... sure. I'm Roxas."

From behind me, as I was now facing Axel, I heard Sora squeek out: "You don't really want to get rid of me, do you?"

I ignored him and looked at Axel as the train came to a hault at my stop. I looked to him, standing up. "I get off here, and I'm pretty sure that you can't help me with this. I'll take care of it on my own." I got off, and was just out the doors when I heard Axel's reply.

"Have it your way. I'll see you later then."

"What?" I asked, but before I could get a reply, the doors had slammed in my face, and the train was moving again. "Freak..." I mumbled, before I noticed Sora's face pouting at me.

"Are you going to get rid of me?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, chuckling at his stomping footsteps as I walked out on to the city streets. I started walking torwards my home, but then I decided that I didn't really want to talk to my mother, and headed in a different direction. I walked aimlessly, Sora right on my heels. I found myself standing in front of my highschool, exactly where Hayner had fallen, staring up at the roof. I felt Sora's hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

"I watched him..." I whispered.

"I know," Sora replied.

I shook my head.

_If only I could have caught him. He would still be alive._

"But that's not what he wanted."

I didn't think or speak after that. Just stared up at the roof. My blue eyes must have looked glazed. I didn't even know how long I was standing there before _he_ showed up.

"Oh, so you were his friend?"

Axel's voice broke me from my daze, and I glanced over to meet those aqua eyes with my own.

"Yeah..." I responded, though I'm sure my voice still sounded as though I were in that daze.

"I heard about it on the news. Why'd he do it?" he asked.

"To be free." I answered. I had no idea where it came from, but somehow I knew it was true.

Axel simply nodded, and we both turned our gaze up to the roof. I was immagining what it would be like to fall, and I think Axel was too.

After some time, the man with the wild red hair turned to me again. "You sure you don't want some help with your problem?"

I shifted my ocean gaze to Sora, looking him over, before transfixing it on Axel. "What could you do?"

He grinned at me. "Well, there's a few ways to get rid of your little annoyance, so why don't we go back to my place and discuss it? Since I can see you won't be going home tonight as it is."

I sighed, and put my hands in my pockets. "Listen, how much is this going to cost? I don't have much-"

"What do you have on you right now?" he asked, interupting me. I could tell he was asking me about my cash.

I reached into my pocketand took ou my wallet, examining the contents. "Four dollars."

"Works for me." he replied, and started walking, motioning for me to follow.

"What?" I asked, "But that's as good as nothing!"

He stopped walking, and turned around. "When I said it was my business, I meant more like a..." he paused, looking for the words, "favor I could do for you.. Four dollars is enough for a ticket out to my part of town, so that's why it works."

"Oh," I replied, as we started to walk. I ignored Sora's pleading for the time being, instead remembering something my grandmother had told me before she died. _"If you run into someone three times in the same day, you're destined to meet."_ I wondered if that was why Axel had said he'd see me later.

_Great, I was destined to meet a creep._

We got on the subway after buying our tickets, holding on to the vertical poles because there were no seats left. Sora could seem so real. He was holding on to the pole as if he could be affected by gravity.

_At least I didn't have to buy him a ticket._

Axel lit himself a ciggarette, and held his pack out to me. "You smoke?"

"No. Isn't it illegal to smoke on here?"

Axel shrugged, stuffing the pack back into the pocket of his hoodie. "No one cares."

I looked up at him, noting how tall he was. And skinny. I wasn't entirely sure that anyone should be that skinny. His tight black jeans didn't help either. He looked... like a creepy beanpole.

The three of us - two of us - stood in silence until we were about halfway there.

"What was it like?" Axel asked, catching me off guard.

"Huh?"

"You were there right? What was it like to watch someone die?" his eyes seemed cold, removed. It was like he was mesmorized by the thought.

"You're sick," I replied, glaring at him.

He just laughed, exhaling a bit of smoke. "Maybe I am, maybe I am."

I turned away from him, but saw him pop a pill out of the corner of my eye.

_Perfect. My only hope was a drug addict._

_Asshole._

We listened to the hum of the train and the small talk of the other passengers until we reached out destination, the familliar screech of the train a soothing sound to my ears.

As we left to the city streets, I silently thanked God that Sora had been silent on the train.

"That's because you were ignoring me," he replied to my thought.

_That's right. And I'll continue to do so._

Then, as we reached the streets, the putrid smell of this place reached my nose.

Did I say Hayner's part of town was the worst? I lied. Flat-out, bold faced, lied to you.

The streets were littered with miscellanious garbage, and I think I even saw human feces on the sidewalk. There were more hookers, more addicts, and more dealers than I'd ever seen in my life! Quite a few homeless people walking around as well.

Axel seemed unphased by this, however, and continued walking. I felt like everyone knew that I didn't belong. I could feel their eyes on my clean clothes, my innocent face. I made sure to stay close to Axel; no one seemed to be glaring at him.

When we got to his building, I was shocked. It was completely rundown, with various stains on the walls that appeared to be urine, and another substance I have no desire to mention. There was garbage all over the hallway, and a few of the stairs at the end of this hallway were broken. I could see from here.

"Watch your step," Axel warned, skipping the first three steps, then continuing upwards.

I followed suit, and thought I had completely lost my mind when I heard a beautiful song being played upstairs.

_In a place like this?_

"Hey, Axel." I heard a voice say from the upstairs. When I was up there, I saw a guy a little younger than Axel leaning against the wall, plucking the strings of a sitar. Ok, that explained the music.

"Hey, Demyx." Axel replied, slightly waving at the guy. 'Demyx' had sandy blonde hair like Hayners, but blue eyes that rivaled my own. His hair was styled differently from Hayner's though. Did everyone here have weird hair?

"That your him?" he asked, nodding his head torward me as he played.

"Yeah," Axel replied, "That's Roxas. We have a lot to talk about, so we'll see you and the others later."

Axel walked up to one of the doors, unlocking it, and letting me in. I entered into the apartment, and he followed, closing the door behind him. It was rather barren, save a bad, a couch, a table with two chairs, and a tiny television.

"This will be your home until we can fix you. You should be able to find anything you need pretty easily. I'll try to remember to buy some food after work tomorrow. Until then, you can raid Demyx's fridge."

"Oh... kay..." I replied, looking around at Axel's place. "Hey, uh, do you have a phone I could use?"

The aqua-eyed man nodded, pulling out a cell phone from his back pocket and handing it to me.

"Hopefully it works," he said, "I haven't payed the bill in a few months and they're bound to cut it off soon."

I sighed, and flipped it open, dialing the numbers to my home phone. Luckily, it rang until I got the answering machine.

_"Hey, we're not in right now, but leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can."_ I heard my mother's voice say.

"Hey mom, it's me. I'll be... out for a few days. Don't worry about me though, I'm fine." I snapped the phone shut, and handed it to the red-head. He put it back in his pocket and sat in one of the chairs by the table.

I sat in the other, and watched him as he spoke.

"Ok, there's a few ways we could do this, so it's up to you. Option one; we could try to get you over the trauma. Not very easy to do. Option two; we could medicate you, but that's expensive. And option three; you could end your own suffering. Kill yourself."

My eyes widened at him, and I nearly fell out of my chair. "Did you just tell me to kill myself?!"

Axel shrugged at me, nodding. "Yeah, well, if that's what you want. But you're on your own if you're going to do that. Assisted suicide is illegal, y'know."

I stood up, enraged. "You're crazy! You're... You're sick! Deranged!"

He sighed, and leaned back in his chair. "Is that any way to treat someone who's trying to help you?" He crossed his arms and shook his head, "Go to sleep. You can take your time to think about it. Oh yeah, you get the couch. I'm here to help you, not pamper you." He stood up, and walked over to his bed, removing his hoodie. Underneath it, he was wearing a black wife-beater. He layed on his bed, and closed his eyes.

Our conversation was clearly over. I moved to the couch and layed down. I didn't want to sleep in the bed that he slept in anyway. I could barely stand to be in the same room with him.

The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was Sora, staring at me.

_Damn him._

Author's notes: There you have it, Axel's entrance into this story. I hope you liked it, I tried to keep them all in character to the best of my ability. I'll have chapter three up tomorrow, so look forward to that. Also, don't forget to review! Reviews make me want to write badly, so do it!


	3. Blow me away

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Thank you for the lovely reviews!!! I'm so happy to hear from you guys, you really make me want to write! And so, I'm proud to present to you; Chapter three. This was my favorite chapter to write so far, so I hope you enjoy it! READ ON!

Chapter three: Blow me away.

I was in pain. A dull, thobbing, aching pain.

However, this was not enough for me to open my eyes. I sat up, my brain not understanding the short width of my sleeping area, instead only deciding to bring a hand to my sore neck, rubbing tenderly.

But, in all honesty, when I opened my eyes, I plastered myself to the back of the couch I had spent the night on, eyes darting wildly around me with a determination to figure out where I was exactly.

And then... I saw him.

The same spikey haired brunette, those glee-filled ocean eyes, that happy little grin that could send rage though my bones.

I was in _hell._ I was still in **_hell_**.

Before that spikey-haired brat could speak, I stood up and went to walk to the kitchen, hoping that my scary, redheaded captor had a coffee pot.

But, as usual in my short life span, fate had a different idea. In my sleepy stupor, I had failed to notice the hoodie, that Axel had thrown to the floor the previous night, had coiled itselt around my foot. As you probably predicted, I fell flat on my face, knocking over one of the chairs by the table in the process.

_Bang._

**_BANG._**

Now, fully awake, my eyes had darted to a hole in the wall, which encased something small and shiny. Something metal.

I sat straight up, looking in Axel's direction, just in time to watch a hand that held a pistol fall back beside his body. He was turned up so that if I jumped on that bed just right, I could **shove my foot up that ass, letting that red-haired _freak_ know just what I thought of him!**

Then, I realized; his eyes were closed. His mouth was agape. Those red locks were mussed beyond reason.

He hadn't even _woken up._

I stood, fists clenched so tight my knuckles could reflect sunlight, trembling with fear and adenaline.

That. Bastard. _Shot at me!_

Moving slowly and vindictively torwards his bed, I prepared to attack.

_Creeeeaaaak..._

I glanced over at the door, a pair of blue eyes staring in at me, from the face of a blonde-haired individual.

Demyx put a finger to his lips, to tell me to be quiet, before using said finger to lure me out the door.

Silently, I crept from the room to meet the mysterious sitar player in the hall. I guess he had heard the shot, because he gave me a knowing glance.

"Axel sleeps with weapons on hand. I think he's paranoid or something, but no matter," he shook his head, his eyes and expression becoming painfully serious. "Never, _ever_, wake up Axel. Let him have his fight with the alarm in the morning, and, if possible, try to get out before he does." He paused, looking at the door, "Axel **never** wakes up in a good mood."

With that, the sandy-haired musician beckoned me torwards his apartment. I was thankfull, for it seemed that Axel in a bad mood couldn't be good- especially with weapons.

The door opened to Demyx's apartment, and I almost shreiked with joy. It was clean, there was real furniture, and it smelled as though breakfast were on it's way. At this moment, I accepted him as my Lord and Savior.

He heard my stomach growl, and viewed the sheepish smile I wore after it.

Laughing, he spoke. "I figured that Axel wouldn't feed you, the guy barely eats himself, so I made us some breakfast." He motioned for me to sit at his kitchen table, and I obliged, mouth watering when he brought two plates of pancakes to the table, sitting down.

Instantly, I was forking pancakes into my mouth, enjoying the buttery maple flavor. He laughed as he watched me scarf down some more, until he finally spoke.

"So, who's your friend?" he asked, motioning torwards Sora, who had plopped himself down in a chair.

I raised a questioning brow, "You mean my... problem?"

_Was he looking at Sora?_

He nodded, "Yeah, the brunette with spikey hair?" He was staring straight at him.

I thought that annoying little ray of sunshine would explode with glee.

"You can see me!?"

Demyx nodded, mouth full of pancake.

And then I knew. Demyx was God.

_Hallelujah!_

Unfourtunately, Sora wouldn't shut up. But I guess it wasn't so bad. He was asking all the questions I wanted answers to.

"You can really really see me!?"

"Yup."

"How come?"

"I have a heightened sense of sight that gives me the ability to see things from other planes."

"Like ghosts?"

"Yup."

The only problem was, it was Sora, and in his excitement, he asked each question six or seven times.

Now that I thought about it, I wasn't sure how I felt about my 'inner voice' having the ability of communicating with other people.

_No, that can't be good._

Not that Demyx seemed to mind when I interupted with a question of my own.

"How did you and Axel meet?"

One would swear that Demyx mentally sighed relief as he leaned back in his chair after finishing his meal. "A group of us have been friends since we were toddlers- you'll meet them later. Axel and I just happened to team up when push came to shove,: he motioned to Sora, "So we spend a lot of time together."

I nodded. Sora pouted.

An alarm was heard going off in the next aparment, followed by a series of loud banging noises and a few gunshots. It sounded like they had come from different guns...

I stared in shock at the wall which seperated myself from the crazed red-head, all too thankful it was there. Demyx was grinning.

"**FUCKING ALARM!**" Axel shouted, apparently still throwing things around the room.

After a long series of loud bangs, I heard his door open and close, but was too slow to hide under Demyx's couch, or one of the matching chairs, before Axel opened the apartment door, scowling in at me.

"Why... is there a _hole_ in my wall?" His voice was so angry, so scary, so... _evil_...

"Because you shot it." I replied. No, thank you very much, my voice did not squeek.

He was in front of me before I could blink, grabbing me by my sweater and shoving me into the wall, at _his_ eye level. "It's your fault... _Blondie_." The word was spat at me like the venom of a rattlesnake.

I had never been so ashamed of my hair.

As he glared at me, I glared back, seemingly unafraid on the exterior. On the inside, somewhere deep in my soul, I cried for my mommy.

Luckily, Demyx's smiling face appeared next to Axel's, coercing his his arm down, until my feet hit thr ground.

_I'm saved!_

Axel's frighteningly deep turquoise eyes turned to Demyx, seemingly threatening his life. However, he simply sighed angrily and let go of my shirt, moving torwards the door. It was then that I noticed he was dressed and clean.

"I'll be home at six," even though he wasn't facing me, I could tell that he spoke through gritted teeth. "Be in my apartment. _Six_. Got it memorized?"

The door slammed, and Axel was gone, leaving me pumped full of adrenaline in the humble aparment of Demyx.

_Yeah, Axehole. I got it memorized._

My sandy-haired friend smiled weakly at me and plopped himself on the sofa. I could see Sora, out of the corner of my eye, curled up like a ball in the corner.

_Dear God, he **was** my inner voice._

Demyx and I spent the day lounging around his apartment, talking and laughing like old friends.

"So, where does Axel work?" I asked, the curiosity finally getting to me.

Demyx smirked a little, his hair moving in the created wind of his shaking head. "Construction. It's always best to put a brute like Axel to labor. I think it relieves stress for him."

_Brute? Axel?_

I suppose I had never concidered it because of what a tall, lanky man he appeared to be. Then again, I had seen his muscles when he had taken off his hoodie, and he had propped me against the wall with incredable ease...

"Oh..." I responded.

"Does he like it?" Sora asked.

Demyx made an akward face. "Yeah, he seems to like it alright. It's just hard when he gets angry and things set fire..." He was going to continue, but I couldn't help myself.

"Set fire?"

The sandy-blonde nodded. "He's pyro-kinetic. He can set things on fire with his mind. It gets out of hand though, if he gets too upset."

_The man who had promised to help me was a crazy, creepy, pyromaniac in need of anger management classes._

For a moment, I concidered suicide.

The day continued on, Demyx, Sora and I sharing jokes, laughter, and old stories. Demyx reminded me so much of Hayner that I felt at home. Talking to him was like talking to a brother. And then there was Sora, ever optimistic, shining into our conversation as well.

The thought hit me like a brick wall. Sora was so real, too real, especially when being talked to by another person. I had joked with him, laughed with him as though he were real.

_But he wasn't._ The thought was icy enough to bring a chill to my spine. _Sora was still just... me._

I watched as Demyx and Sora exchanged stories. Every story that Sora told was one of my memories. Every. Last. One.

Eventually, the time flew away with us, and I found myself starting to get aquainted with, technically, myself. Demyx pointed to the clock, and gave me a sorry smile. "Axel will be home soon, you probably don't want to irritate him."

I nodded, removing myself from the comfy chair I had previously been sitting in, giving Demyx a little wave. "Will I see you later?"

"I should be getting ready to go to work." He replied. He had already told me about his gigs playing his sitar at clubs. He had played for us, he was awesome.

"Alright, I'll probably hide over here in the morning then."

"I'll be looking forward to it."

I lazily made my way into Axel's apartment and layed down on the couch, turning on the small television, only to find static and no channels. I turned it off, and stared at the ceiling. Sora's face appeared above me, and I almost had a heart attack.

"Don't do that!" I said, sitting up and turning to face him.

"Sorry," he replied, giving me a toothy grin.

I stared at him for a moment, before shaking my head. Even if he _was_ a good companion, that didn't make him real.

Minutes later, Axel barged in carting a bag of groceries that he brought into the kitchen. I started to help him put the -pretty random- food items away, and it took a few minutes to break the silence.

"Did you have a good day?" he asked.

I nodded, "Demyx, Sora, and I- I mean Demyx and I chilled at his place."

Either Axel didn't notice my slip-up, or didn't care. "I figured as much, but the fun's over. Today I assume we'll start on your therepy?"

I looked at him akwardly. I hadn't decided that...

"I assumed that was what you wanted since you were so avid about being alive, and because your face looked so dissinterested when I suggested medication."

I shrugged. "Oh."

We finished putting away the groceries, and that's when things got weird.

"Tell him to leave."

I raised an eyebrow, before looking at Sora. "Go away." He just gave me a hurt pout.

Axel smacked a hand to his forehead. "No, man, you gotta mean it!"

After yelling at Sora repeatedly until he was a metaphorical ball of tears, Axel gave up on that plan.

We tried violence, begging, and even an escapade involving mayonaisse- please don't ask, before Axel plopped himself on the couch, obviously stumped.

"You're tough, man. Maybe you'll just have to _be_ crazy and learn to live with it."

I scowled at the red-haired demon.

He rolled his eyes. "Ok, ok. We'll figure something out. I'll talk to Demyx when he gets home. If he can't think of anything, we'll bring the whole gang into this. Someone has to have a good idea."

I sat down next to him. I was wearing some of Demyx's clothes, which consisted of some tight-fitting jeans I wasn't yet used to, and a white button-up shirt. I looked so misplaced next to Axel, who was again sporting his vulgar hoodie. But for some reason, it made me smile. So he was crazy and creepy, and I was just crazy. Maybe what I really needed, was a friend. Naturally, I didn't mention that theory.

When Demyx got back, Axel left me in his aparment while he went to talk to him. After some time, they both came in, and Demyx proudly proclaimed his solution to me.

"Acceptance!"

I raised an eyebrow at him, and was probably looking at him like he was stupid. "Acceptance?"

"Well, yeah," he continued, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "Just accept him. Accept _yourself_. It's about forgiveness, man! Just accept and forgive yourself and he'll dissapear."

"Hey Axel, about those meds-" I started, noticing that Axel had swallowed a pill just as I spoke. I looked at him questioningly, but he beat me down with his eyes.

"What about them?" my teal-eyed demon asked.

"Nevermind, I was kidding."

I propped my head up on my hand, staring at Demyx. "So how exactly do I accept and forgive myself?"

Dead end. The blank stare I recieved was more than enough to show me that.

"Ok, I'll try it." I responded, "But I'm not sure how well it will go if I don't even know how to do it."

The pair shrugged at me, before Demyx retreated to his apartment. I supposed I would meet 'the gang' another day. I looked to Axel, who went and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Axel?"

"Yeah, man?"

I paused. What did I want to say? "What are those pills you take?"

I didn't have to see his face. The icicles dropped into my veins, chilling my blood. "None of your business."

We sat in silence for a while, Axel just drinking his beers. I watched him strangely. He moved in strange ways, had weird ways of doing things. It seemed like he even blinked differently from everyone else.

"Axel?"

"Yeah, man?"

"How long am I going to be here?"

"As long as it takes."

After a while, I layed down, and let myself drift into sleep.

_"Roxas..."_

_"Do you ever feel... incomplete?"_

I could feel myself falling in the darkness...

_"I'm happy, Roxas. I'll finally be happy."_

_"Promise me, Roxas. Promise me you won't cry."_

It was cold, and I was being swallowed whole.

_"Best friends, forever, Roxas. You and me."_

"Got it memorized?"

But then, I felt warmth. There was a light, shining down on me from somewhere, but I couldn't see where...

Author's notes: Here ya go, I hope you like it! It's a bit shorter than the others, I know, but hey, at least you've got some good old foreshadowing! Hehe... In case you didn't catch the foreshadowing, note the words before he sees the light. Yeeeees, there you go my happy little fan-girls! Anyways, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Now, REVIEW! Or Roxas will never realize his feelings for Axel! Go! Review!


	4. Secrets, secrets

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Ladyameena22- You think Axel is scary now? Lol, just wait. DameNaYurai- I'm glad you're enjoying it! Yeah, Axel's nuts and Demyx is the voice of reason. Axel's my favorite too so far, but don't worry, I'll be diving deeper into the other characters as well. HoplesslyxXxLost- I'm glad to hear it! And you're welcome very welcome! X3 FoxDemonKirara- You'll just have to wait and see who the rest of the gang is. You'll meet two of them in this chapter. And yeah, I think I'll miss Sora when/if he goes. (I'm not going to spoil it for you!) DestinyEntwinements- O.o ... ::poke:: animebuddy- Give it time, give it time. They barely know eachother! XD I'm glad to hear that you like it. :3

Thank you to all for the reviews! When I read them, I couldn't wait to write more!

Chapter four: Secrets, secrets.

_"Got it memorized?"_

_"Memorized?"_

_"Memorized?"_

_"Memorized?"_

His voice echoed through my mind until my eyes opened.

Today, I knew exactly where I was, but my body shot up for a different reason; to glare daggers at the red-haired demon who had intruded into my dream.

_How dare he?!_

I sighed, and shifted my eyes to Sora, absently running a hand through my golden tresses. Sora's eyes pleaded with me not to make a noise. I knew I wouldn't.

Standing up, I nodded my head torwards the door, inviting Sora to come along to Demyx's place. We left the room, and I knocked on the musician's door, already smelling the breakfast he was cooking.

The door opened, and myself and I were greeted with a friendly smile, urging us to come inside. We did, and I noticed that Demyx had left some clothes for me by the bathroom, and smiled at the brotherly figure.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Breakfast won't be ready for a while, so you should probably go wash up." he said, walking back to the kitchen to prepare our food.

I nodded, and grabbed the t-shirt, jeans, and jean jacket Demyx had left for me, and headed in to take my shower. I wondered why he had left me a jacket.

_Were we going somewhere?_

After I had succeeded in cleaning my person, I dried myself off, and pulled on my pants.

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!-_

_BANG. BANG. BANG._

"FUCKING ALARM!"

I chuckled. "Good morning, Axel," I then whispered. I finished dressing, and made my way to the kitchen to sit by Sora. As soon as I had firmly planted my rear in the chair, Axel was walking into the apartment, pushing a hand through those strangely-styled red locks, gritting his teeth.

"Morning, Sunshine!" Demyx cooed from the kitchen.

"Shove it!" The red-haired beast sat beside me, lighting up a ciggarette.

He took a long drag, obviously letting the smoke fill his lungs to their fullest potential, before exhaling the cloud of smoke calmly.

"You know that causes cancer..." I stated more than asked.

"We all die of somethin'," he responded, taking another drag off the white stick.

_Whatever._

I was soon happily greeted by Demyx, carrying a large plate filled with french toast. All but Sora grabbed some for theirself, starting to eat the delicious breakfast Demyx had prepared for us, as well as worshipping the great goddess Caffina by slurping down our hot coffee.

I looked at the clock. Axel had left earlier than this the previous day.

"No work today?" I asked between mouthfulls of the delicious breakfast.

Axel swallowed his own food. "Nope, today I'm dedicated to your cause." He grinned at me, as if we were friends.

_"Got it memorized?"_

I stabbed my fork into my breakfast, secretly wishing it were Axel's brain.

_I **hate** him!_

My eyes turned to Sora, who was staring at Axel intently.

_Was he still afraid?_

We finished, and I brought everyone's plates to the kitchen, in an effort to show that I was greatful for the hospitality I had recieved. I rinsed them, and put them in the washer before I returned.

I saw Axel swallow another pill.

_Druggie_.

Demyx stood, pulling on some shoes and a jacket. "You ready, Axel?"

He nodded, and I turned to him. "Where are we going?"

His teal eyes looked torwards the door, a grin passing over those venemous lips of his.

"Larxene's," Axel replied.

_Ahh, one of the people in their group of friends._

Soon, we left for the subway station, and Axel payed for my ticket. I didn't like taking money from him. I made my skin crawl, thinking that I might owe this guy.

The ride on the train was rather uneventful, just the four of us making small talk. I did notice, however, that Sora was still staring at Axel.

_Was I really that afraid of him?_

We made it through the ride, and arrived in one of the nicer parts of town. There were large houses, trees, flowers; a sigh of relief after being in the Industrial Distric where Axel lived.

We went to such a house, and Axel knocked on the door.

After a moment, we were greeted by a blonde woman, her hair lighter than mine, beckoning us to come in. She was slender, and had one of the prettiest faces I had ever seen. However, she had two random blonde locks coming out above the others, much longer than all the rest. Yup, they _all_ had weird hair.

She brought us to a living room which was expensively decorated, and we all took seats.

"It's good to see you Axel, Demyx. Who's your friend?" she asked, with such a smile I wanted to sit in her lap and call her 'mommy'.

"Roxas," Axel replied, "We're getting rid of a problem of his."

"Oh, I see."

'Larxene'- I assumed -studied my face for a moment until Demyx began.

"His 'problem' is actually his inner voice, so my idea was this: if he can forgive and accept himself, then it should go away. Prolem is... we don't know how to go about that."

Larxene giggled. "Time, silly."

"Time?" I asked, "I can't stay with Axel forever! I have friends, a family, a life!"

_A mom._ Suddenly, I missed her.

The woman nodded. "Yes, but all that was stolen from you as soon as that inner voice of yours showed up. Even if you did leave, you couldn't live a normal life in your current state."

I sighed. She was right. Getting rid of Sora would have to come before all else.

"I know it sounds crazy," she continued, "But take some time out of the day to speak to him- just the two of you. You'd be surprised what you might learn."

I nodded, and the three of us thanked her for her help.

_Talk to myself? I guess it can't be that bad..._

We went to leave, Axel leading the way. I watched his hair move as he walked. It was really very pretty, bouncing, shiny, and the color was definately eye-catching.

Axel had come to an abrupt stop. I felt my own feet stop moving and noticed something that made me want to pee my pants.

I had grabbed a lock of his hair!

I saw his fists forcibly open- and I swear I saw flickers of flames in his palms. His fists clenched shut again, and I could see his body tremble with anger.

I stood there, frozen, my eyes wide and mouth agape, still clutching one of those red locks.

In a flash, he had grabbed my hand, released my grip on his red mane, and was pulling me up to his eye level by my wrist.

"What. The Fuck. WAS THAT!?"

I coughed. Stuttered. Coughed again.

The pain was working its way through my arm. His hand was wrapped so tightly around my wrist, I thought for sure it was turning purple.

"WELL!?" he screamed at me.

I wanted to cry.

"I-I-I..."

"You **what**!?"

"I... don't... know..."

He dropped me to the floor, and I clutched my wrist.

In my fear, I didn't notice Demyx and Larxene putting out a fire that had started on the coffee table.

"Never. Again." the red-haired monster said through clenched teeth, before turning on his heels and walking again torwards the door.

_Oops._

The trip home was spent in silence, Axel repeatedly sucking on stick after stick of cancerous smoke. Not once did I see him pull out a lighter, however.

When we arrived at the apartment building, Axel stormed quickly in, making his way to his living chambers. Demyx, Sora, and I heard the door slam.

"What was up with that?" Demyx asked me as we entered the building.

"I have no idea..." I answered truthfully.

Demyx sighed. "I wouldn't suggest doing something like that again. Axel is pretty protective of his personal space."

"I noticed."

We went into Demyx's quarters. I knew he understood that I was too scared to enter Axel's. I also appreciated him not mentioning it. I didn't want to admit I was afraid.

"You can spend the night here, if you want, but I'm sure Axel will be fine again in a few hours."

"I'll keep it in mind," I replied.

Demyx and I spent some time playing various video games, until there was a knock at the door.

Demyx answered, and greeted the man who stood before him with a hug. "Zexion!"

The color of his hair was a strange, bluish-lavender color. Perriwinkle?

"You called and I came home as fast as I could, man. What's going on?"

The sandy blonce turned and looked at me, "That's Roxas."

Zexion nodded and walked into the apartment, dropping a breifcase on the coffee table. He looked as though the name was unphasing, like he'd heard it a million times. Were these people stalkers?

"The name's Zexion," he held his hand out to me and I shook it.

"Roxas."

He grinned. "So, has my Demyx been treating you well while I was away on business?"

_His Demyx?_

I looked to said blonde, who was blushing slightly.

_Demyx was gay?_

My oh-so-vast knowledge of gay men was this: they acted like girls, pranced around like six-year-olds at a Britney Spears concert, and thought everything was 'Fabulous!' But... none of this was true about the sandy blonde I had accepted as a brother, and I was understandibly confused.

Zexion walked over to the wall separating Axel's apartment from this one. Knocking loudly on it, he spoke.

"Yo, Axel! I got your meds!"

_Medication? Was that what those pills were?_

A grunt came from the other side, and soon Axel was among us.

Zexion opened his breifcase, which was filled with papers and pill bottles, and took one such bottle out, handing it to the pyro-kinetic fiend I was currently staying with,

"Thanks, man," Axel replied before again exiting the room. I could tell he was still mad.

I turned to Zexion once I was sure Axel was out of earshot, "What are those pills for, anyway?"

The perriwinkle-haired man sighed. "Scizophrenia. Poor guy just can't seem to make the things he sees go away."

"What is it he sees?"

"Don't know. He won't say."

Axel had the same problem as I did, but apparently he wouldn't accept anyone's help.

Now, for the first time, I felt sorry for him. It must be hard to go through that alone.

After seeing Demyx and Zexion together for a while, I found that it didn't bother me. They were just like any other couple, they were just the same sex.

Demyx was still Demyx, and I'm sure Zexion was no different.

The four of us sat around talking, though only Demyx and myself knew when Sora was happily chiming into the conversation. No matter, I was having fun.

Axel came in a few hours later, and sat at the table with us.

"Hey, man." he said to me.

"Hey," I replied.

"I-uh. I guess I overreacted before. No hard feelings, dude," he told me.

Apparently Axel wasn't accustomed to apologies.

"No problem, I'm sorry too."

Demyx raised an eyebrow at Axel, but I failed to notice. I was too busy deciding that I wasn't mad.

How could I be? Axel had the same problem as me, meaning we were similar.

_Oh, God, I was like Axel!_

We all hung out together for a while, until I was shooed off to Axel's to talk to Sora.

Myself and I stared at eachother for a long while, as I was unsure how to break the ice.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he replied.

Akward silence.

"So..." I tried to find any thought to help me.

"Axel's in the same boat as you." Sora commented.

"Yup, sure is."

"Axel's not so bad..."

"I guess not."

The akward conversation trudged on until Axel came in and took off his hoodie.

"It's getting late, and I have work tomorrow."

I nodded. "We should get to bed."

"Yup."

"Goodnight."

"G'Night." Axel shut off the lights, and layed on his bed.

I swung my legs onto the couch and stared into the darkness.

Eventually, my eyelids became heavy, and I drifted off to sleep.

Author's notes: So, somewhere in his subconcious, Roxas is beggining to have an attraction to red objects? Or is it something more? You'll have to find out tonight or tomorrow in chapter five! Thank you for the reviews, and keep them coming! If you don't review, the heterosexual monster will come in Roxas's sleep and make sure he likes girls! SO REVIEW! Also, whenever reviewer 50 comes along, they'll get a special KH fanfic that I'll write for them, based on whatever pairing or plot they want. I know that's a ways to go, but hey, it gives you even more incentive right? Review!


	5. Hello, Daddy Dearest

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Ok, sorry I'm so terribly late with the update! My internet access was taken away, and now I have to use my mother's computer to have it, but I now have a floppy disk to transfer it with! So, the updates will be frequent again! Also, since I was so late I gave you an added little bonus in this and the next chapter; Axel's perspective! YAY! And THANK YOU SO MUCH to all my reviewers, you make me so happy!

DestinyEntwinements: o.o…::pokes again:: Neko-tan: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Axel in the morning is based on me when I wake up, only with a gun. Just couldn't see him being a morning person. X3 And yes, the het monster scares all. animebuddy: Everyone seems to love Axel's morning anger. XD Ladyameena22: Nice theory, that will be answered in the next chapter. ;) DameNaYurai: Yeah, I like Zexion/Demyx! And the plot progresses even further. . xxRhixx: Glad you like it so far! I shall keep updating as much as possible. Vel::pats head:: There were many reviews, the het monster has been fended off thus far. Khfan4ever9: Sorry I haven't been able to update until now. ::points above: TT FoxDemonKirara: Yeah, and if Axel turns around too fast, someone could be decapitated! Kairiyumi: Fan art!? Squee! I would love some! I'd bounce up and down with joy! I'm glad you think I'm portraying the characters well. X3 WhiskyNight-KittyHardwick: Glad you're enjoying it! I write it for the fans!

And now, onto the fic!!!

Chapter five: Hello, Daddy dearest.

_"Do you ever feel..."_

_I was standing on the roof of P.S. 114 with Hayner. He had paused, frozen in time._

_I moved torwards him, reaching a hand out to tough his face._

_And then, I was falling. I had fallen off the roof, and Hayner stood at the edge, smiling as he watched._

_The wind blew through my hair, and carressed my back. I closed my eyes. I was giving in._

_"Come on, Roxas! You're stronger than that, right?" It was Axel's voice._

_My body slowly turned upright, and I landed softly, feet firmly planted on the ground. I turned in the direction the voice had come from, and saw Demyx, Zexion, Sora, and Larxene leaning against the building. Axel was walking torward me, a hand outstretched._

_"We've all been waiting..."_

_----_

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

My eyes slowly opened upon hearing the noise. I sat up, stretching my arms.

_Beep! Beep!-- BANG!_

I jumped up, saring wide-eyed in the direction of the noise, to see Axel with his pistol aimed at the alarm clock, about to pump it full of lead.

_BANG! BANG!_

The man brought his hands to his head, pulling at the firey locks they found there.

"FUCKING ALARM!"

I stared at him, hoping that if I didn't move, he wouldn't see me. Obviously, I had woken up later today.

My 'don't move' theory was working for the time being- Axel had grabbed the bullet-pumped object, pulling on it hard and in turn yanking the cord from the wall. He then threw said item into the wall opposite him, causing it to break into peices as a loud crash echoed through the apartment.

Hearing Axel wake up was one thing, seeing it was another.

I didn't dare breathe as I watched him pull out another clock from the side-table, plug it in, and set it to the correct time.

After he had set it down, however, his eyes turned- though not his head- torward the staring blonde in his home.

The glare was cold, icy, but I couldn't take my eyes off those cool aqua ones. It felt like they were ripping my soul out.

He stood and turned his form torwards me, a creepy and mischievious grin crossing over those pale pink lips of his.

I gawked. Was Axel going to kill me?

"Good morning, Roxas." I could tell he was trying to be as nice as possible.

Cough. Stutter. Cough.

He was walking torwards me. My hairs stood on end.

He walked past me. I felt relief flow over my body, and I sighed.

Now, Sora had caught my eye, plastering himself against the wall. I saw his gaze shift to me, and his body relax.

He smiled weakly before we noth started to chuckle.

"Come on," I said, heading torward the door.

Without knocking, Sora and I entered Demyx's place.

"You're alive!" said Demyx with a smile on his face, "Last time I was around when Axel woke up, I had a black eye for a week!"

I counted my blessings and slid into a chair at the kitchen table. A groggy Zexion soon joined us, planting his face on the table.

"Whyyyyy?" he moaned.

Demyx poured a cup of coffee, "Rise and shine, hunnybean!"

_'Hunnybean'? Ok, maybe Demyx was gay..._

A groan came from the perriwinkle-haired man as he snatched away the coffee.

"Middle of the niiiiiight..." he groaned again and took a slurp of the caffinated beverage.

"The sun's out!" Demyx chirped happily.

"Bullshit!" Zexion mumbled.

Sora and I laughed.

Demyx brought us out some scrambled eggs, and left another plate by an empty chair- obviously for Axel.

Shortly, the demon was with us, taking part in the breakfast, though not much in the conversation. Demyx was the first to notice.

"Axel, what's wrong?"

His face looked as though he was walking his last mile, on his way to his death sentence.

"My dad called," he grumbled, "he's stopping by..."

He took a drag off his cancer-stick, and popped a pill into his mouth. I could only immagine what Axel's father must be like, to have had a son like that.

I immagined a large, tattooed man behind prison bars, growling at me.

I shuddered.

Demyx shook his head, looking at Axel. "I-I... I got stuff to do today..." he was putting his hands up defensively.

"You're a damn liar, Demyx." Zexion muttered.

Axel crossed his arms and looked at his frightened friend. "I invited him over here. He'd kill me if he saw the apartment."

Demyx sqeeked. "But- I mean- Dude..." he was pleading. Now I was starting to dread meeting this guy.

Axel sighed, "You've always been such a wuss." he rolled his teal eyes.

Zexion propped his head onto his hand, and turned to his boyfriend. "Look, it'll be fine. We're all here, and besides..." he looked to me, "He always picks on the new kid."

_Perfect. Just perfect._

There was a knock at the door, and I resisted the urge to slide under the table. Axel stood, and grimly walked to the door. When he opened it, there was a thin man with a self-assured smirk standing there, holding a knight-stick in his hand. He had red hair like Axels, with goggles on top of his head, but it was pulled into a low ponytail in the back. He had short whisps of hair dangling in his face, and was dressed in black dress-pants with an untucked white button-up, and a black blazer. He looked in and grinned at the group, and I thought I heard a whimper from Demyx.

"Good morning, guys," the man stated, starting to move in the room. He hit Axel square in the small of his back with the weapon. "Morning, son."

Axel winced, and rubbed at his wound. "Morning, _Dad._"

All but Sora and I looked to the man. "Morning, Reno."

_Not as stout or evil-looking as I had immagined, but he had that same creepy grin that his son had given me on so many occassions._

I should have figured.

He sat in one of the chairs, and swung his legs onto the table, tapping it with his knight-stick. "What have you boys been up to?"

Demyx was staring at the feet on his perfectly clean table. There seemed to be a tear in his eye.

Zexion looked up at him. "Same old, same old. What about you, Reno, where's Rude?"

"At the company, today is my day off, but not his."

Zexion nodded. "I see."

Reno's eyes shifted to me, and I felt myself tremble. He was in Demyx's home. He was Axel's father. He was looking at me. And he had a weapon.

"What's your name, kid?"

I didn't let my fear show externally. "Roxas. Nice to meet you."

Reno shook his head, as if I had lied. "You a friend of that son of mine's?"

I scanned Reno's face for signs of contempt or hostility, but if he had any, he hid it well. However, in my observation, I had noticed that he looked rather young to be Axel's father.

"Uh... yeah. You could say that." I replied.

Reno shook his head, "Get out while you still can, kid. Take it from me."

I raised an eyebrow, but looked to the floor. "Well, actually... Axel's kinda... He's... helping me."

Reno's face twisted as if I had asked a beggar on the street if he could spare some change.

"Axel? Helping?" His face changed again as he burst into a fit of laughter. I looked to Axel, and he was clutching a chair, as if he was going to pick it up and slam it over his father's head.

Reno's laughter lowered to a mild chuckle, and he spoke again. "You're kidding, right? Axel? My son? What, is he going to help you rob an old woman?" He returned to hysterical laughter, and I had no intention of explaining myself to this man.

"Well, nevermind."

The man took his feet from the table, and leaned in my direction. "I like you kid, you have a good sense of humor." He tapped his knight-stick on his leg. "You look tough. Maybe one day, you could be a body guard like me. My son had the chance, but he blew it."

He didn't look Axel's way, which was probably a good thing, since he was standing behind him with the chair held over his head.

"See, Axel's got a bit of an anger problem..." he continued. He raised his stick, and tapped it on the chair Axel held behind him. "Better put that down, Axel. Someone could get hurt."

Zexion stood, and took the chair from the angry redhead, setting it down in front of the table.

"Of course," Reno went on, "We'd have to do something about that hair of yours. Hopefully, you'd grow out of your innocent-looking face with time."

_Work with this guy? No thanks, I'll pass._

"Not exactly the career I forsee for myself." I replied politely.

"Oh, no? I guess you're right. It's hard to take those big blue eyes seriously."

I shrugged. This wasn't so bad. I looked to Sora, who was again staring at Axel. What was with that kid?

"Axel told me about you actually." he said, though he stared at his stick as though it were far more interesting. "He made it sound like you were nothing to write home about, just mentioned that you were staying with him. So then I thought..." he stood, and made his way over to me, looming over me like a tower. "Could you possibly be the boy who's picture is all over the news for being kidnapped?"

I froze. How long had I been away from home? Only a few days... but I only called once, and I didn't tell my mother where I was. Yeah, that could be suspicious.

"And here he is, the same blonde-haired blue eyed kid I saw on the news this morning, with my delinquent son. Now tell me, what is a father supposed to think?" He tapped the stick on my chair, which made me jump. Axel's face looked like he had been hit by a train.

Reno turned to his son, and used the stick to move his chin up so that Axel would be looking into his eyes. "Why, Axel, did you kidnap some nobody kid?"

Axel pushed the weapon away, and turned so as not to look at his father's serious face. "I didn't kidnap him. He came willingly."

"That may be true, or it may not. It doesn't matter, do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because Roxas is sixteen years old. If his parents say he was kidnapped, he was kidnapped. Do you understand?"

Axel sighed. "Look, I'll take care of it," he replied non-chalantly, waving a hand, "Roxas will call his mom, and everything will be alright. He's just staying with me until we can take care of his situation. He'll be home in no time."

All of us knew that Axel's last sentence was a lie.

Reno tapped his son's cheek with his weapon. "He'd better be. If the boss finds out that my son's a kidnapper..." he shook his head, and smacked the stick on top of Axel's head, "Well, let's just say that I'm not going to lose my job because of you."

The end of Reno's ponytail was flickering with flame, but Zexion silently wet his fingers and put it out quickly.

"I have enough to worry about with that brother of yours running around and causing trouble."

Axel shook his head. "What has he been up to lately?"

"Ask him yourself," Reno looked over his shoulder at the door, "Get your ass in here, Seifer!"

_Seifer!?_

A boy a bit taller than myself opened the door, a beanie covering his blonde hair, and a scar running diagonally across the center of his face. He was wearing a sleaveless coat, obviously proudly showing off his muscles.

"What's up, losers?"

I glared at him. Seifer was Axel's little brother? The same Seifer that had beat me up in third grade? The same Seifer that Hayner and I had thrown water balloons at during the school play? The same Seifer who filled my locker with green jell-o?!

Yup, the same one.

He made his way to the table, looked at me, and scoffed. "Are you telling me, that you guys are hanging out with _Roxas_? Way to give me solid evidence that you guys suck ass."

Reno hit the boy up side the head with the stick, before speaking in a so-fake-it-hurts fatherly tone. "Seifer, we're guests. Show some respect."

The prick scowled at his father, before turning to Demyx who was practically shaking with fear. "You're lucky he's here, or I'd give you a swirly."

_Demyx was afraid of Seifer? Come on!_

"Look, ass-wipe," Axel retorted, "Don't make me set your precious hair on fire again, or what's grown back will be gone, and you'll have to wear that ridiculous hat for even longer."

_Ahh, brotherly love._

Reno glared at his sons. "Quit it you two, or I'll kick both your asses, scrape you off the floor, and hand you over to Rude."

The two looked in opposite directions.

Reno smirked. "Good, now that _that_ has been taken care of, I have some business to attend to..." He was starting to move towards the door.

Axel looked at Seifer, who was just standing there, arms crossed. He turned to the man with the pony tail, his arms stretched out. "Where are you going?! Please don't tell me you're leaving this brat here with me!"

Reno turned to him as he opened the door, an evil grin on his face. "You two play nice, now."

Fireballs formed in Axel's hands, but Reno had already closed the door, and could be heard whistling as he walked down the hall. He turned to his brother, a look of rage in his eyes. "Why the hell did he plant you with **me**?!"

Seifer shrugged, and laid down on Demyx's couch. "Don't know, don't care. It's the weekend, and I guess he didn't want to bring me along to whatever he's doing. Trust me, if I had it my way, I wouldn't be here."

I looked at Axel. "I can't believe you're related to that sack of shit!" I yelled, pointing accusingly at my high school enemy.

Axel returned the glare I was giving him, scrunching his nose just slightly, "Neither can I."

"What's the matter Roxas?" Seifer piped up, "Still crying over your dead boyfriend?"

Suddenly, I was on the couch, straddling my enemy, my hands clasped around Seifer's neck. "Don't. You. **Ever**-"

He was coughing, trying to pry my hands off his neck, but they wouldn't budge.

Demyx stood up, looking at the redhead. "Axel, do something!"

Axel shook his head, his arms crossed. "Hey man, he deserves it. Besides, if he's dead, he's not my problem anymore."

Zexion had shot up, and was trying to pull me off the savage boy I was trying to murder, but it took Demyx's help to finally get me off of him. They tossed me into the chair, where I huffed with anger.

"If you _ever_ say some shit like that again!" I stood up, but was restrained by Zexion, "I swear to God I'll kill you!"

Seifer was clutching his throat, which was red where my hands had been clasped around it. He said nothing, just glared at me for a moment before looking away.

Axel seemed a bit dissapointed that I hadn't, in fact, murdered his younger brother.

"Come on, Roxas," he said to me, moving torwards the door, "Let's go get some fresh air."

I followed, though slightly reluctantly, as Axel and I moved out the door and to the streets.

Axel leaned against the building, and lit up a smoke, while I kicked and cursed at the ground. "Fucking bastard!"

Axel simply nodded. "Trust me, that's what he's like all the time. It never changes."

_"Still crying over your dead boyfriend?"_

It was replaying in my mind over and over again. I was so filled with rage that I didn't know what to do. I wanted to punch his lights out, wake him up, and repeat the process until he didn't have a face left.

But instead, I felt hot tears pouring out from my eyes. I blinked, and brought a hand to my face, feeling the water as if to make sure it was real. It was. Then, more came. They were gushing out from under my squeezed eyelids, but I wasn't sobbing.

Axel froze, and looked over at me as I tried to wipe them away, but they just kept coming.

"It's hard..." he whispered, "To lose someone you care about." His voice was solemn, full of sorrow.

My eyes were still waterfalls, and I spoke through the lump in my throat. "He wasn't my _boyfriend_!"

Axel sighed, and walked over to me to place a hand on my shoulder. "I know that, Roxas, but he was your friend."

I pulled away from him, and sniffled as the hot tears ran down my cheeks. I looked into his eyes as best I could with water flowing through mine. "What would you know about it?! What would you know what it was like to lose the only one close to you! The only person I trusted!"

Axel again rested his hands on my shoulders, and peered down into my pouting, wet face. "I would know, man. I lost my mother."

The tears didn't stop, and I started to sob. I wasn't only sobbing for myself though now, I was sobbing for Axel too. He had lost his mother. That must have been terrible, but somewhere inside me I knew that he didn't cry. I knew that he felt the pain, but I knew that he didn't cry. I was crying for him.

I was surprised when he pulled me torwards him, but I barried my face into his chest none the less. I needed to cry, and I needed to be held by someone who would let me. The man that not long ago I had hated, loathed even, was petting my hair and telling me that everything would be alright. I clutched part of the sleeve of his hoodie, letting the tears roll down my face.

"It'll be ok, Roxas... It'll be ok."

I didn't believe him when he said it, but I was glad he did. It felt good to hear him tell me things were going to be fine, whether it was true or not. I needed those words, I needed that hope. I don't know how long we stood there like that, but through my sniffles and sobs, I noticed that Axel smelled really nice. It was comforting.

------

I watched him cry, a feeling of sorrow in the pit of my stomach. I pet those blonde locks, and closed my eyes. I didn't care that my clothes were soaked, or that I was recieving strange looks from passers-by. It didn't matter. Roxas needed to let it out, and there was nothing that could be done about it. I brought his body down to the ground as well as my own, leaning against the building behind me. He was curled up in front of me, his face burried into my chest.

We were there for some time, before I noticed that the sobs had stopped, and my hoodie was starting to dry. I looked down at the blonde, at his closed eyes and dry face. He had cried himself to sleep on me.

_Poor kid._

I scooped the boy into my arms, and checked to make sure he was still asleep. He was. Good, I could bring him inside.

I walked into the building and carried the boy up the stairs into my room. I layed him down on my bed, and brushed his hair from his face. "I'm sorry, Roxas..." I spoke, "We'll fix you soon."

I placed a kiss on his forehead, and tucked him under the covers. Perhaps dad was right about his face looking innocent. He looked like an angel when he slept.

I chuckled softly. What was I, a girl?

I turned on my heels, and walked out the door, shutting it softly behind me before entering my mullet-haired friend's apartment. I was greated by a weak smile from Demyx, and a knowing frown from Zexion.

"Is he ok, Axel?" asked the first.

"Yeah, he'll be fine. He passed out and I put him in my bed so he could take a nap," I replied non-chalantly.

The two nodded, and I turned to my brother, who was playing video games. I walked over to him, and snatched to controller out of his hands. I pinned him against the couch he sat at with a boot, and started directly into his eyes, pointing a finger at him menacingly.

"If you EVER say something like that again, I'll castrate you and use your balls for ornaments on my Christmas tree, you got it punk!?"

He glared at me, until I took my foot from his chest and picked him up, hauling him over to Demyx's bedroom. I tossed him in there, and shut the door, locking it from the outside. "You're to stay there until Dad comes to get you!"

_Great, now I sounded like a girl AND a mother._

I walked into the kitchen, and sat at the table with my two friends.

"Axel?" asked Demyx.

"Yeah, man?"

He looked to the ground, obviously avoiding my eyes. "You... you and Roxas... do you... uh..."

I grinned. "Do I like him?"

Demyx nodded timidly.

"I don't know... maybe."

Demyx perked up and turned to his boyfriend. "You owe me five bucks!"

Zexion rolled his eyes. "That wasn't a 'yes'. That was a 'maybe'."

Demyx pouted. "But with Axel, it's the same thing!"

The perriwinkle-haired man shook his head. "Nope, it doesn't count."

"Aww, come on!"

"Zex..." I said, "Give him the five bucks."

Because that's as close as I would come to admitting my feelings for Roxas.

Author's notes: Teeheehee! Hope you enjoyed peering into Axel's mind. Also, as a note, from now on "---" will mean a change in perspective between Roxas and Axel. Now review!


	6. Embrace your inner demons

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Ok, so in this chapter we start out with Axel, and then move back to Roxas. Just so ya know. XD Anyway, this chapter should make all you happy, I squeeled a couple times while re-reading. XD So, here ya go, enjoy!

Chapter six: Embrace your inner demons.

I ran a hand through my crimson red hair, and peered over to my friend, Demyx, who was happily parading around the apartment waving a five-dollar bill. I chuckled and shook my head, before glancing at Zexion.

"So, Zex, how's business been going? Any new crazies come to you lately?"

The man smirked, "None more crazy than the ones in this room."

I laughed. Zexion was a phsyciatrist. He had gotten into the field after being in our group of friends, convinced that he could help us with our 'issues'. Ironically, none of the friends in the group would go to him for help, not even me, though I had asked for a prescription. However, he knew me, and knew better than to ask, so gave me the prescription without question. I was thankful for that, thankful that Zexion knew me well enough to leave said subjects the hell alone.

I lit a ciggarette and returned his smile, before again glancing off into nothing, just thinking. After a few minutes, Demyx sat back down and started a conversation with his boyfriend, leaving me to my wandering mind.

That was, until I saw a glimpse of silver hair. I closed my eyes, and reached for the pill bottle in my hoodie pocket, before quickly jamming one into my mouth and swallowing.

_Go away... Just go away..._

I clenched my eyes shut until I could feel the chemical start to kick in. When I opened my eyes, I smirked at the success, and propped my head onto my hand.

Zexion glanced at me, but said nothing. Good ol' Zexion, he always knew when to keep his mouth shut.

There was a knock on the door, and I had guessed that Roxas had woken from his nap. I walked to the door and opened it, dissapointed when there was no such blonde standing there.

Instead, there was a muscular boy, younger than me, with black hair, and a girl with silver hair that only allowed you to see one of her red eyes. It was Rai and Fuu, Seifer's friends. I glared coldly at them.

"The hell do you punks want?"

"Seifer." Fuu replied to me in a very, 'that explains everything' like manner.

"We came to see him, y'know?" Rai insisted.

I sighed and let the two through the door, though I hated my brother and his little posse.

"Hey Seifer!" I called as I shut the door and made my way to Demyx's room where he was still locked up, "Your friend and girlfriend are here!"

Fuu scowled at me and Rai clenched his fists. "She's not his girlfriend, y'know!?"

I laughed and unlocked the door, "My bad, I mean your boyfriend and your friend."

I ignored Rai's glares as well as Seifer's as he came out of the room, walking past me.

He waved a hand at me as though he was brushing me off, "Just because gay runs in the family, _Axel_, that doesn't mean I got that gene."

I scowled at him. When we were younger, Seifer and I would find as many excuses to call eachother 'gay' as possible. I knew, though, that he had no idea that I was bisexual, and was more than happy to keep it that way.

"I'm going out," Seifer continued, "I'll be back eventually." He and the other two made their way to the door.

"Sure thing," I responded, "If you're not home before dad gets back, I'll tell him you fell out the window naked and were arrested for streaking."

Seifer didn't reply, and left hastily. I wasn't unhappy to see him go.

----

I felt the side of my face being cushioned by something soft, and a small grin came to my lips. There was a blanket over me, and I pulled it close to my body. Wherever I was, it was terribly comfortable. I opened my eyes, finally, and saw that I was in Axel's bed. After a moment, I remembered crying on Axel, but nothing after that. He must have brought me here.

I sat up and stretched my arms, before standing and walking to the door. I walked into Demyx's apartment, and smiled at the three males who had turned to face me.

"Hi, guys." I felt a lot better after crying like that, though I can't explain why.

I noticed that they were all looking at me with concern- even Axel- and waved my hands in a defensive motion. "I'm fine, guys, really!"

They gave me unsure smiles, and Demyx offered me a cup of coffee. I took it happily, and sat down at the table, noticing that Seifer was nowhere to be found.

"Where's jackass?" I asked coldly.

Axel smirked, "He left with his posse of twerps about an hour ago. If ya want I can hold him down when he comes back so you can punch."

I laughed, but upon seeing Demyx's concerned face I shook my head- even though the offer was more than appealing.

"Nah," I replied, "I think I scared the piss out of him enough for one day at least."

Axel nodded, and pulled his cell phone from his back pocket before tossing it to me. "Call your mom, man."

I nodded, and flipped open the phone to dial my mom's number. After a few rings, I got the answering machine again, unsurprisingly.

I listened to her speak for a moment, until I heard the beep.

"Hey mom, it's me Roxas. I'm not kidnapped or anything, so you can quit freaking out now. I'm staying with a friend for a while, but I'll be back eventually. If the number shows up on the caller ID, I don't think my friend would mind if you called, but he doesn't usually come home until around six, so try it then. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

I flipped the phone shut, and looked to my laughing friends, handing it back to Axel.

"What's so funny?"

Zexion stifled his laughter first, and so he was the one who replied to me. "You called Axel's apartment 'home'."

I grinned, and tilted my head down. "I did, didn't I?"

Now that I thought about it, this place was the most home I'd ever had. There were people here who cared about my well-being, took care of me, talked to me, made me a part of their family.

I silently wondered how I'd gotten so lucky. Sure, we didn't always get along, but that made it real. These were **real** people. They were my friends.

I laughed with them, and looked to Axel. "Well, it kind of is my home now, isn't it?"

Axel smirked, looking at me for only a moment before averting his eyes. "As long as you want it to be."

My grin faded, and I moved backwards in my shock. Was Axel really offering me his home as my own? Before, he had said 'as long as it takes', and now it was 'as long as you want it to be'. Did Axel really like having me around?

My gaze shifted to Sora, sitting in the corner. He was staring again at the red-haired man who was helping to get rid of him. The boy had a smile across his face, and his cheeks were... pink.

I blinked at the boy, who never turned to me, and followed his gaze to Axel. He was... staring at him.

I looked to Demyx, who had obviously noticed. He had a grin on his face of understanding.

_NO. I. AM. NOT. GAY._

I stood up quickly, and looked away from my friends. "I-I'm going for a walk."

I was taken aback by the look Sora had been giving Axel. Those... those mushy eyes, that content smile. He looked as though he were pleased just to be around him.

I ran from the building, unaware of where I was going. I just... ran

Sora was... my inner voice. If he was looking at Axel that way... it would mean that I did too, right?

WRONG. That was impossible. Axel was a guy. A GUY. I was certainly not into dudes. I mean, I never looked at Hayner, Pence, Seifer, Demyx- any guy I had ever met that way. In fact, I once had a crush on Olette! I was sure that I liked girls.

_Olette._

I knew now where I was going. I'd go to see her. I knew I could talk to her about anything, and I knew that she would never tell a soul. I made my way to the station, and bummed some money off a guy for a ticket.

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the door to Olette's house, knocking.

The door opened, and a brunnette femme stood infront of me. Her face turned to shock, and she threw her arms around me.

"Roxas! Roxas, you're alright! I've been so worried."

I put a hand to her back, and remembered that everyone thought I had been kidnapped.

"Yeah- Sorry about that. I've been... taking care of some things."

She pulled herself away from me, and looked at me happily. "I'm just glad you're ok! Come in, no one's home so we can make food or whatever you want."

I nodded, and she led me into the living room. We sat there for a while as I explained where I had been all this time.

When I finished, she nodded. "So, you're having mental issues?"

I had told her about Sora, and so I nodded. "Yeah, but that's not why I came here. There's... something else that's bugging me."

"What is it, Roxas?" she asked, a frown of concern crossing her lips.

"This has to stay strictly between you and me, ok?"

She nodded, and put her hand on my leg. "I promise. What is it?"

"Well... you remember how I told you about Axel? Well, I've been noticing Sora looking at him for a while, but today, I noticed that he had these... these... ga-ga eyes when he's looking at him. That he was blushing. I think that... Well, what I mean is..." I realized now that I sounded like a complete lunatic.

"You think you might be gay?" she asked.

"No! I am not gay! I just think that I might... I might..."

"Be gay for Axel?"

I put my head in my hands, shaking it. "I've completely lost my mind."

"Well, Roxas, it is possible. I mean, you're very vulnerable right now. Axel's shown you kindness. It wouldn't surprise me at all that you care for him."

A lump appeared in my throat, but I spoke through it anyway. "But Ollete, it's more than that. He held me as I cried earlier, and it felt so _good._ It was like being wrapped in the arms of... of... I don't even know!"

I could tell from her voice that she was concerned, though I couldn't see her face through my hands. "Roxas... there's nothing wrong with that. See, there's something about this that I don't think you understand; Love doesn't discriminate. It can come at any time, any place, with any gender-"

I shot up from my seat on the couch and glared at her, fists clenched. "I do NOT love Axel!" Upon seeing her hurt face, I flopped back into my seat, and looked at her sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

She sighed and shook her head. "All I can do is tell you what I see. You are the one that has to accept it. I can't do that for you."

I nodded, and shoved my face into a pillow, only managing to mumble out an "I know."

She walked to me, and pet my hair, acting like the mother she had always been to Hayner, Pence and myself.

"I miss him, too Roxas..." she whispered, "I miss the way things used to be. I know you were closer to him than Pence and I were, and I know that you were the only one who had to watch... that. But we're all going through pain. I know it's harder for you, and I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all away for you, but I can't. And now you've got even more problems to make it hard on you. I want to help you- we all do, but we can't help if you don't let us in."

I picked up my head from the decorative pillow, and looked to her. "I know, Olette... I'm sorry."

The girl smiled and stood up, pulling me up as well by my wrist. "Look, you just got finished telling me that you ran out of that apartment building like a bat out of hell, so your friends are probably worried sick. You should go back and let them know you're alright. You don't have to tell Axel how you feel, or even decide how you feel about him. Just don't worry them to death like you've done to us. I'll call Pence and let him know I saw you, ok?"

I nodded, and put my arms around the girl. "Thank you, Olette." I let go of her, and headed to the door. "I'll try not to be such a stranger from now on, too."

She smiled and waved at me, "You better!"

I returned the soft smile, and closed the door behind me. When I saw Sora standing there, I must have gaped. I started to walk, and spoke to him as he walked beside me. "It's true, isn't it? I have feelings for Axel, don't I?"

I got a soft smile and a nod from the spikey-haired brunette, and lowered my gaze to my feet. I watched them walk past the station- because I didn't think I'd get so lucky as to bum more money off anyone in the same night- headed in the direction of Axel's part of town.

As I was getting closer to Axel's neighborhood, there were more hookers suggesting that I looked like I needed to 'have some fun'. I ignored them, still staring at my feet as I walked. It didn't take much longer as I got closer to downtown until I heard my name called out by an all-too familliar voice.

"Roxas!"

I looked up in the direction of the familliar voice to see a red-haired man with triangular tatoos under his green eyes running torwards me. It was Axel, making his way torwards me.

I raised a hand to wave, but when I went to speak all that came out was a simple, "Ehhh..."

I could tell that he saw through my weak attempt at a smile, because he would have to be stupid not to.

"Roxas, where have you been?! You just... ran out of the apartment and dissapeared! We've been looking for you everywhere!" he spurted out, lighting a ciggarette as he caught his breath. He must have been running for a while.

"I... I had to talk to my friend, Olette." I replied, barely able to look in his eyes, knowing now what I felt.

He took a puff of his ciggarette, almost glaring at me, though it was more of a concerned look.

"Next time you get the uncontrollable urge to go see your girlfriend, let someone freakin' know! Got it memorized?! We were worried about you!"

I shook my head, "But Axel, she's not my girlfriend..." I looked up into those green eyes that stared me down, "I couldn't look at her like that if I tried."

_Not when he was in my life, confusing every brain cell I had anyway..._

Axel made a weird face at me that consisted of him raising an eyebrow and opening his mouth, while turning his head. Maybe I had made myself a little obvious with that statement.

"Why? She's not pretty? If it's the brunette in that picture that you keep in your wallet, then I don't see why not."

So, Axel had gone through my wallet at least once.

"Yeah... that's her." I looked to the ground, "Thing is, though, there's someone else I see that way. Even though I'm not sure I should, or that even want to."

_Yeah, there ya go, Roxas. Give yourself away like the idiot you are._

"I see." Axel replied, putting a hand through his hair as he looked me over, obviously trying to devise just what I had meant by that.

"C'mon, let's get you home," he finally concluded.

Home. The word had never sounded so soothing, not that I ever remembered. But, when Axel said it just then, it was like I understood its true meaning.

"Yeah... let's go home."

We walked in the direction of home, Axel on his cell phone letting Zexion and Demyx know I was alright. When he closed the cell phone, he stared at it for a moment before returning it to his pocket.

"So, Roxas... Who is it that you er... 'see that way', huh?" He turned his head to look at me, but I still stared at the ground.

I sighed, unsure of what to say.

"It's... not important, really. Just someone who showed me... how to live again."

"How to live again?" he turned his head forwards once more, "Wow. Sounds like a great girl."

I stared at the road ahead, and laughed a little. "You'd think so, wouldn't you?"

He turned to me again. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"This person is a little on the crazy side." I replied, smiling at him.

He smirked, "Sounds perfect for you."

If only Axel knew that I was talking about him, he might not have smiled so widely in that moment. I mean, Axel wasn't gay...

How on earth was I supposed to deal with this?

We made it back to the apartment without speaking after that last conversation. As soon as we walked in, Demyx had thrown his arms around me, telling me how worried he had been, which sent Zexion into fits of laughter.

"Roxas, do you even know what it's like out there during the night!? I was almost mugged while I was out looking for you! Thank goodness I didn't have any money!"

I laughed and Demyx let go of me, smiling at me in a way that almost made me cringe.

"I understand the need to take a walk just to think," he said, still with that same smile.

Oh, God. Demyx _knew_.

"Clear your head, mull things over in your mind..."

Demyx _knew_. He freaking _knew!_

"It's not easy, discovering that you may have different feelings about something that's happened than you did initially. It can be hard to accept."

Demyx knows, and I'm going to find Axel's pistol and commit suicide.

"But it all turns out ok in the end."

I must have been gawking at him, because Axel put his hand on my shoulder and peered down at my face. "Are you ok, man?"

I snapped myself out of it, and turned my head to Axel, though my eyes stayed transfixed on Demyx. "Yeah, man, I'm fine."

He was smiling at me, that wicked, evil, knowing smile that sent chills down my spine.

"Demyx, can I talk to you?"

He nodded, and I dragged his ass out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door.

I let go of his wrist and turned to him. "You know."

He laughed, and shrugged his shoulders. "I only know what I see."

I put my hands to my hair, wanting to rip it out. I was caught.

"But- how did you??? I didn't even..."

He touched my shoulder and laughed a little. "How did I notice you gawking at him? Or Sora gawking at him? You both did it. It's a bit hard not to notice."

"Damn you, Demyx!" I pointed a finger at him, suddenly filled with rage. "If you tell Axel, I'll-"

He raised his hands defensively, backstepping. "I won't say a word, Roxas, I promise. Just let me tell you one thing."

"What is it?"

"Axel isn't always what he seems. Don't let his outward appearance decieve you. There is more to him than you may see so far."

I raised an eyebrow, but Demyx was already walking back into the apartment. What was that supposed to mean?

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned around to see Axel's father, Reno. I smiled akwardly.

"Hi, Mr. Reno."

He laughed a little. "It's just 'Reno'. Isn't it past your bedtime, Roxas?"

I laughed, "You come for Seifer?"

The man nodded, and I continued. "I don't know if he's home."

Reno's blue eyes went into a scowl, and we headed inside. "He's such a pain in my ass..."

We walked into Demyx's and Axel's face turned to despair. I chuckled mildly as Reno tapped his knightstick on his shoulder.

"Where's Seifer?"

"Don't know, don't care." Axel replied.

"I left him in your charge, and you don't know where he is? You're supposed to be a big brother, Axel."

Axel sat on the couch, and propped up a foot on the coffee table. "And you're supposed to be a father, _Reno_."

The man raised his stick as if to slug Axel with it, but let his arm drop back down to his side.

"It's not easy being a single parent with two kids and a job, y'know."

"It's not easy trying to raise yourself and your delinquent brother because your father is never home, either."

Reno sneered at his son, "You're an ungrateful brat, Axel. I gave you a good life. You had everything you needed-"

"Except for parents."

Reno sighed. "Look, I'm sorry that I wasn't always around-"

"You mean that you were _never_ around?"

"I had a job to do, a job the kept your stomach full!"

"A job that left so little time for your family life that your second son has no idea what the word father means, and spends his time wreaking havoc around the city?"

Axel stood up now, and the two red-haired men glared into eachother's eyes.

"With all that work you have to do, it's a wonder you found time to breed at all, let alone twice." Axel hissed at his father.

"In case you forgot, it was I who took care of the two of you. Not your mother, who killed herself, right in front of your eyes and left us to die. She did that to you, Axel, not me."

Axel crossed his arms. "It was you who gave us the things it took to survive, but neither Seifer or myself got the moral support of a parent."

Reno headed to the door, and looked sadly at Axel over his shoulder. "I did the best I could with what I had. When I wasn't around, you had Rude or eachother. I'll do my best to come around more often."

"Don't bother," Axel retorted, "It's too late now."

Reno left the room, and I looked to Axel.

_How could he be so cold?_

"What are you looking at?" Axel asked me icily.

"The only person I've ever seen that has a heart so full of ice they could shoot snow cones out their ass." I replied. For some reason, seeing that side of Axel hurt me, but I covered it with anger instead of pain.

Demyx frowned, "You did go a little hard on him, Axel. I remember your father coming home quite a few times..."

"And passing out on the couch." Axel whispered, though he didn't seem as angry. "Look, I'll call him tomorrow. If he answers the phone, I'll apologize, but I'm pretty sure he has to work."

I knew that Axel couldn't possibly hate his father as much as he pretended. I think he only wanted to hate him that much. He had a hard life, this was apparent, but I guess he never had anyone to blame.

I didn't know the whole story, but I knew for sure that I was missing some major pieces. Like, how Axel's father could be so young, and why he was a witness to his mother's suicide, amongst other things.

Axel and I bid Demyx and Zexion goodnight, and returned to our bare apartment. Axel climbed into bed, and I layed down on the couch.

"Hey Axel?"

"Yeah, man?"

"Do you really hate Reno so much?"

"I dunno."

"He tried his best to give you a good life."

"I know."

"Your dad seems really young."

"He is."

"But... how old is he?"

"Uh... I think... 29?"

"How old are you!?" I sat up, staring at the red-haired man under the black sheets.

"19."

"But that means he was-"

Axel sat up. "He was ten, yes. My mother was his peverted school teacher, and didn't think that she could get pregnant by a ten year old, but guess what? She did. She had Seifer when he was 13, and killed herself when he was 14. She left him with two bouncing babies when he was just a freshman in highschool. He dropped out, and got a job at the company he works at now as some hot-shot CEO's bodygaurd. He was always a fighter. That's where he met Rude, who we moved in with. That's the story. Got it memorized? The End. Go to sleep."

I layed back down, and heard him sliding back under the sheets. Wow, Axel's life was a lot more complicated than I thought.

And a grown woman had sex with Reno when he was ten years old... gross!

I tried to sleep with this knowledge floating around in my mind, but it took some time until I finally drifted off.

Author's notes: Aaaaaaaand we learn a little about Axel, and we see Roxas falling for him. Sweet, ne? So review! Or neither of them will ever confess their feelings!!! O.O


	7. The good intentions of deception

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: echi- I always felt that the bond between Roxas and Sora was important, so I wanted to keep that in the plot of my story. Ladyameena22- Yeah, the ten year old thing is gross, but I needed a way to explain how Reno was so young. Glad you're loving it! Reese97-10- Hehe, yeah, it cracked me up to write that line. Happy to hear you're enjoying it. LadyTori- ::takes cookie:: This soon enough? HellCat18- No, Axel's inner voice isn't Sephiroth or Jenova, I agree that more FF characters would just be too much. I've introduced all the characters that I'll be using already, so never fear. AJ can't hackit- Why thank you, I love you too! X3 I try to keep it at a steady pace, but I'm not so sure about the pace of this chapter. Let me know, ok? kairiyumi- Hehe, I'm surprised that I'm getting so many happy reviews about Reno! I'm a die-hard Reno fan, and I just can't look at Axel and Reno without seeing the resemblance. It's scary. XD DestinyEntwinements- ::shares part of cookie with you:: o.o xxRhixx- Axel is Axel, and I never really saw him as being a very normal person.animebuddy- You know, I thought that too at first, but then I thought I'd have them as father and son because no one else ever seems to do that. You can look forward to more romance in this chapter, squee!

Thank you so much to my reviewers, new and old! You guys make me never want to stop writing, I think I'll cry when this story ends. Don't fret though, because I have other stories on paper that I'll be writing when this one is finished! To all my romance-loving readers, this chapter is the beginning of the tidal wave. Enjoy!

Also, I do not own the song that Demyx sings, because it is very hard to steal musical notes and a voice from the air. Instead, it belongs to Andain so no suing.

Chapter seven: The good intentions of deception

The dreamless night passed, and I yawned and opened my eyes to the new day. Stretching, I glanced at Axel who looked peaceful as usual, save the bottle of pills held loosely by his hand. I looked over to Sora, who sat in the corner, apparently thinking about something, before he gave me a nod. I looked again to the pill bottle, sighing inwardly.

Here he was, trying to help me out of a situation when he wouldn't bother helping himself. Instead he swallowed pills to rid him of his problems, never facing them. I wished I could help him, but knew he would never accept it. I felt like I owed it to him to help guide him through the pain. We could get through it together.

I was moving quietly towards him now, a hand outstretched. I knew he would be pissed when he woke up, and I knew that it was suicide, but I didn't care. I wanted to help him.

Ever so carefully, I reached out and took the bottle, stuffing it into my pocket. I then quickly left the room, to go to Demyx's for breakfast, where I was greeted with a smile and a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, sunshine!" he said, handing me the cup. I muttered a 'good morning' somewhere before taking a drink of the hot liquid.

I was a dead man walking, and I knew it.

I sat at the table with Zexion, where I was looked over by him for a moment.

"Sleep well?"

I nodded, and looked to Sora. His mind seemed to wander like no one else. I downed the rest of my coffee, and looked to Zexion.

"I'm going to take a shower. Demyx left some clothes out, right?"

The man nodded, and I walked into the bathroom, closed the door, and removed the stolen item from my pocket. After fiddling with the child-proof cap for about three minutes, I finally opened it, and dumped the contents into the toilet. I sighed, awaiting my death and flushed them, rolled the bottle up with toilet paper, and stuffed it in the small trash can.

It was for his own good, right?

I undressed and got into the shower, feeling as if it would be my last. I don't think I ever appreciated that feeling of the hot water rolling down your back and through your hair as much as I did then. I got out, undressed, and made my way back to the table, just in time to hear the clock ticking until the end of my life.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Yes, it would only be moments until Axel would come in and strangle the life out of me.

I listened to the sound of Axel bustling around his apartment, but today it was much louder, with far more cursing than usual. Zexion and Demyx stared at the wall dividing us from him awkwardly.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!"

We heard a door slam, and Axel was among us, hair still messy, clothes not changed. He towered over the table for a moment before slamming his hands down on it.

"Have any of you seen my meds!?"

He was too angry to keep from screaming at us. Demyx and Zexion shrugged and shook their heads, and I shook mine as well.

"I had them last night! They're GONE!"

I could feel my hairs stand up on end, and noticed Axel looking at something repeatedly from the corner of his eye.

"DON'T ANY OF YOU KNOW WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE!?"

We all shook our heads again, and Axel started to rip through the apartment in search of his beloved chemical friends. Demyx looked like he was confused whether to cower in fear, or demand that Axel clean the apartment.

Zexion stood up, and moved to Axel, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. "They wouldn't be here, Axel. I'll help you look in your place."

Axel shot him a look and fire began to form in his hands. "I already looked there!"

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

"Someone must have **taken** them!"

I was caught, I was so caught.

Zexion shook his head, "Axel, who the hell would take your meds?"

I stared into my cup of coffee, praying that I would not be noticed by this crazed man.

_Why did I do that? Why the fuck did I do that?_

I heard his footsteps as they moved towards me, but I didn't dare look up. I feared that if I looked into his eyes, I would turn to stone.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, and couldn't stop myself from fidgeting.

"Roxas?" he said my name sickeningly sweet. It was like getting rubbed by that alcohol swab right before the lethal injection.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered. Crap, now he knew for sure.

In one swift motion, my shirt was in the grip of Axel's strong hands, and my body was slammed against the wall. I looked at him in fear, too scared to even feel the pain in my back.

"What the **fuck** did you do with my meds!?"

I stared at him, barely able to breath.

"I said where the fuck _are they_!?"

"Axel..." I muttered. Wow, great idea. Just whisper his name, everything will be fine.

He slammed my body against the wall again. "WELL!?"

"I-I-I-I-... Axel... I..."

His glare made me regain my ability to speak.

"I got rid of them!"

I closed my eyes, and waited for him to punch my lights out. Nothing happened for about 30 seconds, until he dropped me and I hit the floor.

"Roxas..." he spoke through gritted teeth, "**Why** did you get rid of them?"

"I-I... want to help you."

He quickly brought his face to mine.

"Do me a favor, Roxas! Don't help me!" he roared.

I was terrified. In fact, I was probably shaking. Axel was so furious that Demyx and Zexion were too busy running around the apartment putting out fires to even think about stopping him. Worse even, he was furious at _me_.

Now, when people are frightened, they often do stupid things. Like climbing a tree to get away from a panther, or pretending to be dead around a bear. Maybe even try to shoot a grizzly with a pistol.

Not me though, no. I did something stupid, far more stupid than any of those things. I consider myself lucky to be alive after what I did.

I jumped up and threw my arms around Axel's waist, so close to him I could feel his heart beating.

He stopped, dead silent. He didn't move or speak, but I could feel his eyes staring at me, and could almost hear him thinking 'What the fuck?'

"I'm sorry, Axel. I just want to help you through it." I whispered.

The fires around the apartment went out, but Axel still didn't move. Silence surrounded all of us.

I brought my eyes up to look at him, to stare at the expression of complete shock he wore on his face.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered again.

He looked away from me, obviously clenching his teeth. I felt my fingers tug on the back of his black wife beater, as I stared fearfully up at him.

"Roxas," he finally spoke, though there was still anger in his voice, "It's not that easy."

"If I can do it, you can do it too!" I pleaded with him.

He looked down at me, trying not to show the anger in his eyes. "It's not that easy."

I heard Zexion and Demyx leave the apartment, but I didn't care.

I yanked hard on the back of his shirt now, upset that he wasn't really listening to me. "Axel, you can do it! I know you can! Yes, you've been through a lot, but do you think you're the only person who's ever had a rough time!? You're so strong, so much stronger than I am, and if I can get over this, so can you!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sora. He looked like he was having a conversation with someone, but there wasn't anyone there.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Axel yelled.

Sora seemed to be nuzzling up to someone, with a soft smile on his face. And- did his hair just get brushed on it's own?

It hit me. Axel's inner voice. Sora was cuddling up to Axel's inner voice.

"What the hell are you looking at!?" Axel demanded.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to see what Axel saw. Praying for the ability to see the reactions of Axel's inner voice. When I opened my eyes again, my prayers were heard.

I saw a boy, taller than myself with silver hair and aqua eyes. He was giving gentle kisses to Sora's forehead before his eyes turned to me, and nodded with a smile.

I was stunned.

"What's his name?" I asked.

Axel didn't look at me or at the other version of himself. "Riku."

"Riku..." I whispered.

It felt a bit awkward, but I turned to Axel again and his eyes met with mine. I knew there was no denying it; I had very strong feelings for this crazy, pyro-kinetic, fire-tempered man. Seeing Riku, made me see that it wasn't just one-sided either.

However, I still wasn't sure about the entire intimacy issue that would eventually come along. It frightened me, but somewhere deep down, I couldn't hide it from him any longer.

I moved my hand down to his, watching as my fingers tangled themselves in his.

"We can do it together, Axel." I raised our hands up and brought them to his chest, "I know we can."

He stared at me for a moment or two, before a smirk and a chuckle passed his lips.

"If I had to go through it with anyone, Roxas, I'd want it to be you."

I smiled, looking up at him. He was smirking at me, as if he didn't believe what was happening. I watched his head move downward, towards me, and closed my eyes. I still wasn't sure how I felt about this, but when his lips brushed against mine- though not yet kissing- I knew it was right.

He slowly let his lips press to mine, and they locked in a tender kiss. I felt his arms wrap around me, and an empty place somewhere in my chest slowly start to fill.

I loved this feeling, and I wanted more. My eyes felt like they were stinging with tears but they were dry, and I pulled him to me in an attempt to be closer to him, though we were already pressed against each other. He continued to kiss me tenderly, letting his tongue dart out and tease my lips on occasion. Any time he went to pull away, I'd gently nip on his lip, and he would grant my request for more.

I could feel my hands move under his shirt and across his chest, exploring his skin for the first time. His hands moved across my back, sending me delightful chills. His lips were so soft, and his hands were so smooth, it was like being enveloped in silk. He brought a hand up to my neck, before sliding it up into my hair and giving it a gentle tug. He finally broke the kiss, and looked down at my smiling face as he granted me a smirk of satisfaction and happiness.

We stared at each other for a moment, and I felt my cheeks turn crimson. Axel laughed, and shook his head before grinning at me.

"You ok?"

I nodded, letting myself look at him for another brief moment, before I couldn't stand it and brought his head down while I stood on my tip toes. Our lips touched in a rough but passionate kiss, and I felt him pick me up and bring me over to the couch. He pushed his hands under my shirt as we kissed, roaming my skin with his gentle fingers. I slid my hands up the muscles of his arms, before bringing them down his back, clutching at his shirt as he ran a finger over my sensitive nipple. I shivered at his touch for the brief moment it was there, before I felt him tugging at my pants.

I broke the kiss and looked up at him. "Axel..."

He let go of them and smiled knowingly. "I'm sorry."

I was sure that I wasn't ready for that, even as strong as my feelings were for him.

I blushed and looked away. "No, I'm sorry, it's just-"

He put a finger to my lips, and smiled down at me. "It's ok. I'll wait until you're ready."

The door opened, and both of our heads turned to see Demyx squealing with joy, and Zexion with crossed arms and a smirk.

"Caught ya." said the latter.

I felt my cheeks burn a violent red, and sat up, trying to fix my hair. "Uhh..."

Axel chuckled and looked to Demyx. "You knew, didn't you? About both of us."

The sandy-blonde nodded, his hands clasped together like a mother who's baby had just said it's first words.

I now understood what Demyx had said to me, and looked to Axel again as the two entered the house, and Demyx started to prepare some food.

"Hey, Axel?"

Axel leaned back on the couch and lit up a cigarette. "Yeah, man?"

"Does this mean we're, uh, boyfriends?"

"Only if you want it to."

I smiled and nodded, and Axel laughed out a puff of smoke. "I'll be back then, babe, I have to take a shower."

I laughed at the pet name, and he grinned at me as he went through the door. Zexion moved to sit next to me, and I could feel the red come back to my face.

"Roxas, I've always wanted to know; is Axel a good kisser?"

I coughed. Stuttered. Coughed again.

"Oh, leave him alone, Zex!" Demyx called from the kitchen, "It was his first time!"

Zexion laughed and put an arm around me. "Welcome to the wonderful world of the gay man. Just in case you didn't notice, though, Axel's a bit more moody than girls are."

I laughed, "Yeah, but I think it will be worth it."

Zexion chuckled in response, and went to go help Demyx with breakfast.

Silently, I mulled over what exactly had happened.

_I am male. Axel is male. We kissed. I kissed a man. But, I'm still a man. I don't have to parade around using a high voice and wear bright colors or wear foundation. I have a boyfriend, but I'm still a guy. He's still a guy. We're still just... us._

Yes, I was still just me. Nothing had changed, except that I had a boyfriend. I would still dress the same way, act the same way, everything would still be normal. But I would be kissing a guy.

I came to the happy conclusion that I as a person had not changed. I was me and he was him, and we were together.

After a while, he came back into the apartment and we both sat down at the table where Demyx served us some breakfast. Axel gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and was trying hard to ignore our inner voices snuggling on a chair. It didn't bother me much, because I knew that was the two of us really, cuddling there. We all finished eating and I took everyone's plate to the kitchen. When I came back, Axel had lit a cigarette and was pulling on his boots to go to work.

I frowned, having forgotten that Axel would have to leave. He looked up and me and smiled. "I'll be back at six, got it memorized?"

I nodded, knowing that it would seem like forever until he was home. "I'll be here when you get back."

He finished lacing up his boots and put out his cigarette. "Later guys, bye Roxas."

He gave me a peck on the lips and went through the door. I couldn't help feeling as though I were a housewife in that moment, and I laughed at the thought.

Zexion grabbed his briefcase, and was soon out the door as well, leaving Demyx and myself alone.

Demyx invited me along to go grocery shopping, and to buy a new outfit for his gig that night. He was in a dressing room, trying on a shirt as I sat outside.

"So, is it you or Zexion that pays most of the bills?" I asked.

"Well, Zexion most of the time, but when I get paid for a gig I help out too. He doesn't mind much though, says he wants me to follow my dreams."

I smiled, "That's really nice of him."

"Yeah, he gave up his dream of being an artist so that I could play my music. I begged him not to, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He still paints on his days off though, which is great because they're beautiful."

"Are the paintings in the apartment by him?"

"Yeah, they're great aren't they?"

I nodded, and he opened the door, wearing a black t-shirt with an eye where the iris was flames.

"What do you think?"

I smiled, "That's really cool. I like it."

Demyx nodded, and looked in the mirror. "Yeah, I think I'll get this one."

He went back into the dressing room.

"So, what's your dream Roxas?"

I looked in the mirror opposite me. My dream? I hadn't thought of that in a while.

"Nah, man, it's stupid."

"C'mon, Roxas? What is it?"

I sighed. "I want to snowboard in the Olympics."

Demyx laughed. "I tried snowboarding once, fell on my ass- and it hurt! You any good?"

"I've been told that I am."

The sandy-blonde peered out of the door and raised an eyebrow. "Then why is it stupid?"

"I don't know, I just don't think it's ever going to happen."

"It can if you try."

I nodded. Maybe Axel and I could go to the mountains together sometime, and I could teach him if he didn't already know.

"You'll never guess what Axel's dream is."

I looked at the man curiously. "What is it?"

"Two things; he wants to race motorcycles, and he wants a family."

I smiled, envisioning Axel on a motorcycle speeding down the road. That was definitely something I could see him enjoying. At least once, though, I would want to be on the seat behind him, arms around his waist.

Demyx finished up his shopping, and we again retreated to his home, where he cooked us up some lunch before he practiced with his sitar. I listened to him play, and gazed at the other me sitting in the chair beside me.

"Why did you know, when I didn't?"

He smiled cutely, "Because, Roxas, we're detached. I'm a part of you, but our connection is weaker because we are two separated parts of the same being."

I stared at him blankly, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

"Because I'm outside of you, all our emotions don't always connect."

I nodded my head, though I only slightly understood what he meant. I guess I understood well enough, because he didn't speak any more of it.

Demyx stroked the cords of his instrument, singing a song softly. It was a somber, but pleasant melody.

I looked again to Sora. "When will we be whole again?"

"Hard to say, but I think that with you and Axel helping each other, it won't take much longer until we're together again." He shot me a wide grin, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

It was strange, but I was starting to see him as more of a friend than a problem.

_Together again._

Sora was a part of me, just as much as I was a part of him. Eventually, we would again share the same body and mind, but he would disappear from my reality. Would I miss him? I had no answer to that, but I knew that he would never really be gone, so did it even matter?

I was definitely thinking about this too much.

I spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and listening to Demyx practice, until a certain red-haired crazy man came through the door.

He looked worn out, and stressed out as he trudged in through the door. He took a seat beside me on the couch and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He sighed and took a drag of the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"It's been so long since I've seen more than just a glimpse of him... I can't stand it."

I felt sorry for him, but smiled in hopes of cheering him up. "Hey, now you know what I'm going through."

He laughed and put his arm around my shoulders. "And man, does it suck."

Demyx stopped plucking the strings on his sitar for a moment. "Do you guys want to come to the club to watch me perform? I know you've already seen it all before, Axel, but Roxas never has."

I smiled and nodded my head. "I'd like that. You play really well, I'd love to see you on stage."

"I'm all go." Axel replied.

Demyx smiled, "Thanks guys. Zexion's working late, so he won't be able to make it." he stood up, and put his instrument in his case, "I have to go get ready and be there early, but I'm going on at 8, and Axel knows where it is. So, I'll see you guys there?"

The two of us nodded, and Demyx went to his room to get dressed.

I turned to my boyfriend, "How was work?"

_Damn. I am a housewife._

"Same old same old, only now I have a silver-haired brat to annoy the hell out of me."

I laughed, "Oh c'mon. It couldn't have been that bad."

He smirked and placed a kiss on my lips. "All in all, it was a pretty good day considering."

That one kiss was enough to again ignite my passion for this strange boyfriend of mine, and I put my arms around him, bringing my lips to his.

His soft lips brushed mine gently, sparking me with excitement and nervousness. He sucked on my lower lip for a moment, and I could almost feel my body melting into his. He took his lips from mine, and I wanted to complain, but my thoughts were interrupted when he gave a gentle nip at my neck. I let my body relax, and he started to suckle on the tender skin on my neck. A moan escaped my lips though I tried to keep it in.

We were interrupted when Demyx grabbed his sitar and opened the door. "Hey guys, not on my furniture." he said with a wink, before exiting. Axel and I chuckled, and he stood up. "You wanna grab something to eat before the show?"

I smiled. "Sure."

We ended up in a small diner, which I was told was not far from the club we'd be going to, and I ordered a burger.

"Hey Axel?"

"Yeah?" he asked after swallowing a mouthful of burger.

"Eventually, I'm going to have to start going back to school again."

"Yeah, I know. I'll figure out some way to get ya there."

I shook my head, "You don't have to do that. I'll figure it out, I just wanted to let you know."

"Don't worry about it, I got it covered." he smiled at me, and I understood.

Axel wanted to take care of it, so that he could be sure I wouldn't have to move back into my mother's.

We finished up our food, and Axel covered the check and tip, though I felt bad for never being able to pay for anything. We exited the building, and started walking down the street. I noticed that Axel kept his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, and frowned. Did he not want to hold my hand in public?

"Do you think I should get a job?"

He turned to me. "Why would you do that?"

"So that I'm not always freeloading off you and Demyx."

"Don't worry about it. I got it covered."

I went to speak, but stopped myself. I guess Axel was just one of those people that was meant to be the one who takes care of everyone else financially, the way Demyx was about feeding people.

_Oh, that's right. Axel's dream is to have a family, and I assume he'd be the father figure._

It made sense when I thought about it. He had found me and offered me help, took me in, and let me use him as a shoulder to cry on. However, I couldn't just not do anything. I'd find a way to help that he would approve of, I just didn't know what.

We walked up to the club, and Axel ignored the '18+' sign at the door, just walking by it without thinking I guess. We walked past the people waiting in line, up to the bouncer at the door.

He said hello to Axel, and let us in. I supposed that he was a regular here.

I looked around at the florescent lights, and the couples dancing. There were gay men, lesbian women, and straight couples alike. I smiled, and reached into Axel's pocket to take his hand, and heard a small chuckle from him though he didn't turn to me as we made our way through the crowd. We moved to a booth-like table and Axel ordered a drink for himself, and a soda for me. I then heard the familiar sound of Demyx's sitar, and gazed up at the stage.

"Right on time." Axel said, grinning.

I smiled and looked to our friend on the stage, dressed as a punk. He started to sing, and I was entranced by his voice.

_"Got up early, found something's missing, my only name,"_

He sang beautifully, and the lights on him made him seem so surreal.

_"No one else sees, but I got stuck and soon forever came, stop pushing on for just a second, then nothing's changed,"_

I liked the lyrics, but I wasn't sure what they meant. Axel bobbed his head along with the music, and I smiled, listening.

"_Who am I this time, where's my name? Guess it crept away,_

_No one's calling for me at the door, and unpredictable won't bother anymore,_

_and silently gets harder to ignore,_"

I couldn't help but tap my foot along with the soft beat of the song. It was so beautiful.

"_I forgot that I might see, so many beautiful things,_

_take this happy ending away, it's all the same,_

_God won't waste his simplicity on possibility,"_

We received our drinks, but I didn't take my eyes off the musician I was proud to call my friend.

"_Now what do I do? Can I change my mind? Did I think things through?_

_It was once my life, it was my life at one time."_

After he finished the song, I turned to Axel. "What was that song about?"

He turned to me, expressionless, "His family. He doesn't talk about them much, but when he told his parents he was gay, they kicked him out. Rejected him. He has a sister, that he's not allowed to talk to anymore. They refuse to associate with him, because he's 'not right' in their book. He's talked to me about it before, asking if he should force himself straight to be able to be accepted into his family again."

"That's awful." I whispered sadly.

"Yeah, but I told him not to. You can't change who you are, and even if you could, it's not worth it if your family can't accept you for you."

I nodded. I never knew that being gay could be so hard. I mean, I'm sure I knew it somewhere, but I never really thought about it. I wondered what would happen when I told my mother. Would she reject me?

After Demyx got off stage, we all headed back to the apartment.

"It was awesome, you were great!" I told him, ruffling his hair.

He laughed, but regained a serious look. "Eh, I messed up a note during the third song. I was so embarrassed."

Axel grinned, "Maybe I'm tone deaf, but I didn't even notice."

"Really? Well, that's good." Demyx said with a smile.

We walked into the building, and said our goodnights. Axel let me into his place, and I moved towards the couch.

"Hey, you're not even going to sleep in my bed?" he asked with a laugh.

I looked at him, probably like a frightened child.

"Hey," he continued, "Don't look at me like that. I'm not a rapist, ok?"

I laughed and climbed into his bed as he removed his hoodie as usual. He slipped under the sheets behind me, and left a soft kiss on my neck, before draping an arm around me casually and resting his head on the pillow.

"Good night." he whispered.

"Good night."

Author's notes: And there you have it, the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Remember to review so that Roxas doesn't get too scared of homosexuality and run away! Love you all bunches, I'll hopefully be able to update tomorrow! Look forward to it!


	8. Bed of Roses

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: DestinyEntwinements- I agree, hooray for mushy gushy! HellCat18- Hehe, of course Riku would be Axel's inner voice! Gotta keep the Riku/Sora thing goin'. AJ Can't Hackit- Yeah, a subtle Riku/Sora was what I was going for, because they're a fav. pairing of mine as well. After this story is over, the actually get one of their own! echi- I'm glad you thought Sora and Riku cuddling was cute, I seem to be getting that reaction from most of the reviewers. And as for Roxas still being Roxas, I'm trying to keep it as real-world-compatible as possible. bluemoonalchemist- No, I haven't read that story, but I will definitely check it out. Makes me sad though, I thought this was original in idea. :'( One moment- Glad to hear it! I try to update as often as possible, so please enjoy the rest of the story. :3 animebuddy- I'm happy that my story makes you so happy, it's a wonderful thing to hear! Ladyameena22- Well, then this is the chapter you've been waiting for. XD LadyTori- ::gives a phoenix down::Loves on Demyx as well:: I'm surprised that only a few guessed that Riku was Axel's inner voice actually. But yet, give loves to Demyx!!! kairiyumi- They're all smexy if you ask me! XD The hug amused me as well, I'm so happy you're enjoying the story! FoxDemonKirara- Exactly! I very much wanted to switch things up, so that Roxas really existed but Sora didn't, because I felt really bad for him in the game about that. I decided it was Roxas' turn. OtakuLady- Special for you, I wrote an Axel/Riku conversation for this chappie. Enjoy! PapouGirl- Well then, that sounds like I've made quite an accomplishment. I may just have to brag about that. XD

Thank you to all for your reviews, you always seem to inspire me!

Chapter eight: Bed of Roses

_I was standing in a white room, my hand brushing the soft cloth of a white curtain as I gazed out the window. I looked around me, and there were chairs, a desk, a door, and a fireplace- all of which were white. It was as if someone had taken a paintbrush to the entire room._

_My eyes gazed back to the desk, and I saw a silver-haired boy with sea-green eyes smiling at me. He moved his hand, beckoning me forward._

_"Riku..." I whispered, moving to sit in the opposite chair._

_He held his hand up, silencing me. and leaned forward to gaze upon my face._

_"Hello, Roxas." he said._

_I nodded at him slightly, in greeting, before asking, "Where are we?"_

_He laughed and shook his head._

_"We aren't anywhere, Roxas." he replied._

_"But-"_

_Again he rose his hand, and I fell silent._

_"Neither this place nor I truly exist." he explained._

_I didn't understand, but Riku did not wait for me to question him._

_"Are you happy now that you are no longer alone?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Capture the heart before you, and you could lace it with diamonds. Let it slip from your fingers, and you could find yourself covered in thorns."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_He put his hand to my forehead._

_"It's time to wake up, Roxas."_

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

I felt an arm that was across me fumble for something, and I opened my eyes.

I saw a gun!

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

The gun dropped, and I felt the bed move, though I stayed frozen in fear.

I stared at the pieces of an alarm clock until I heard a groan and felt a hand go through my hair.

"Hey, you awake?"

I turned over, peering into the deep green eyes of the man who had murdered the clock.

"I am now," I replied.

Axel laughed, and pulled a hand through his messy red locks. He then pulled the sheets off himself and stood up.

I gazed upon his -very- thin but muscular frame before I sat up.

He brought his face down to mine, and placed his hands beside my legs.

"Well then, good morning." he said, his warm breath teasing my lips.

Without waiting for a reply, he pressed his lips ever so gently to mine, taunting me. I moved my head forward, and our lips collided, caressing one another.

One of my hands moved to his cheek, and the other to his neck. His tongue darted out to lick and tease my lips. I could tell they were requesting entry.

I happily obliged, and a small moan escaped me as he started massaging my tongue with his own. He raised one hand to place it behind my head, as he continued the passionate kiss.

When it ended, he grinned at me before turning to take another alarm clock from his bedside drawer.

"You can go ahead and go to Demyx's," he told me, "I'm going to get ready for work."

I nodded, and went in search of breakfast, followed by Sora.

As usual, I was greeted pleasantly by Demyx and Zexion, but I was surprised when I saw a certain red-haired man walk from the bathroom.

"Mornin', Roxas."

"Uhh... hi, Reno."

The four of us took seats at the table, and I turned to Axel's father.

"What brings you here?" I asked.

"Well," he started, "I have a date tonight, so I took the day off. Thought I'd see my oldest off to work."

I nodded, thankful that he hadn't brought Seifer, and took hold of the cup of coffee Demyx had given me.

"Seems he still doesn't wake up well," Reno added.

We all chuckled.

"No, he scared the hell out of me when he reached over me to-" I stopped, and realized what I had just admitted to. My cheeks reddened and my eyes dropped.

Reno smirked. I could _feel_ it.

"Oh," he was chuckling as he spoke," so _that's_ the situation."

I sank into my chair.

"Wow Roxas, I really didn't think that you swing that way."

I laughed nervously, and stirred my coffee with my finger.

"Well then, how about we double tonight?" Reno asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Double date," he explained, "I wanted Axel to meet this woman, and that would be perfect."

"O-okay." I answered without thinking.

Then, my boyfriend came through the door.

"Morning," Axel began before he noticed his father, "Oh, hi dad."

"Your boyfriend just agreed that you, he, my girlfriend, and I would go on a double date tonight."

I thought Axel was trying to shank me with his eyes.

"What time and where?" he asked bitterly.

"Seven, at The Gathering," Reno responded, "So dress nice."

Axel grunted.

"You can borrow something from me," Demyx offered me.

I thanked him, and Axel sat down, taking a white stick from his pack and lighting it.

Reno crossed his arms and looked at his son. "You don't seem very excited."

"When did you get a girlfriend?" Axel asked, without acknowledging his father's statement.

"A few days ago."

Axel nodded, and released a breath of smoke.

"Well, now that I've done what I came to do, I'll be on my way." Reno stated, patting Axel's shoulder before he left.

When the door closed, Axel turned to me.

"Why did you agree to that?"

Demyx brought us out breakfast, and I poked at my food.

"I don't know, I was nervous." I replied.

Axel sighed, and that ended the conversation. We ate our breakfast, and Axel put on his boots to go to work.

"I'll be back at 6-"

"Got it memorized." I interrupted.

He smiled at me, and gave me a quick kiss before he was out the door.

-------------------

I sighed as I descended the stairs, making my way out of the building.

I guessed now that when my father had left me with that dim-witted brother of mine, he had gone to see his new 'girlfriend'.

I shook my head as I walked down the street. I was angry that Reno had pressured Roxas into agreeing to the double date.

I didn't want to meet his stupid girlfriend, either.

I kicked a piece of trash as I walked along.

I didn't care what he did or whom he saw, it wasn't my business anyway, and I didn't want it to be.

The day dragged on, but thankfully building the house we were contracted to do took my mind off things.

I hammered a nail into one of the beams in the rood, until I heard the foreman calling my name from below.

I lifted my hardhat, and wiped some sweat off my forehead.

"Yeah?" I called down to him.

"Go on break, you've been working like a dog!"

I complied, and made my way down the ladders. I skipped the last four steps, and jumped to the ground. I slowly made my way to the side walk, pulling out my pack and lighting one up.

I inhaled the smoke and grinned, enjoying the slight nicotine buzz it gave because I'd forgotten to take any smoke breaks.

"It's not Reno's fault."

The voice was not my own, but I knew it just as well.

"Oh, yeah?" I asked sarcastically.

"It's no one's fault but her own." Riku continued.

"I know that."

"Then why don't you forgive him?" he asked. He was facing me, but I did not turn to him.

"Dunno."

"Why don't you forgive yourself?"

I paused before replying, "I should have done something."

"You were four, you couldn't have done anything."

"I could have tried."

I turned now to look at his frowning face.

"She was a great mother, up until then." Riku stated.

I nodded and took a drag of my cigarette. "And then she did the most selfish thing she could."

Riku agreed, and we both looked away from each other.

"That was so long ago," Riku remarked, "You should really let it go."

I flicked my cigarette into the newly paved road. "Yeah."

------------------------------

I put Demyx's suit on, and it was a little big on me, but it served its purpose.

It was a black coat and pants, with a cream-colored shirt and black tie.

I looked in the full-length mirror in the bedroom, and Demyx nodded in approval.

"You look good in it," he praised.

I grinned, and looked over myself.

"Thanks again, Demyx, you're a life-saver."

He laughed and shook his head. "It's no problem. What do you think, Sora?"

The spikey-haired boy grinned widely and gave a thumbs up, "We look good."

I laughed. Sora was always so goofy and cheerful.

I undressed, and Demyx started lunch. When I was changed I went into the kitchen.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Well, little late for that, but shoot." Demyx replied.

I lifted myself to sit on the counter, and watched him cook.

"What would be a good way to repay you and Axel for your hospitality?"

The sandy-blonde laughed. "The company is good enough for me, man."

"But I feel like I should do something."

"Well, if you must, you do the dishes." he responded.

"Count me in!"

"And as for Axel..." he paused, "Maybe you could clean the apartment."

"Man, why didn't I think of that?"

Demyx grinned, "Because you're not a genius, like I am."

We laughed, and I set the table for lunch. We sat down, and started to devour the delicious pasta he had prepared for us.

"So, when are you going to start going back to school?"

"Soon, I hope." I answered.

Demyx sighed, "You've missed a lot already, you should really look into it."

"I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

When Axel got home, I was already dressed and ready to go, waiting for him with Demyx while he changed.

When he finally entered the apartment, he was wearing a black pinstripe suit with a black shirt, and a tie as red as his fiery locks.

I stared at him in awe, my eyes swallowing him whole. He was... gorgeous.

"Hey, Roxas."

My eyes quickly moved to his, and I grinned. "Hey."

He walked over to me and leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. I welcomed them, and suckled on his lower lips for just a moment, before his tongue darted out, and I greeted it with my own. He put a hand to the back of my head as out tongues mingled, and I tugged at the back of his coat.

"Ahem."

We broke our kiss, and I looked nervously to Demyx, who chuckled at us.

"You two are like rabbits," he commented.

I grinned weakly at him, and he pointed to the door.

"Go, you'll be late."

"Dammit, Demyx. I was hoping to make forget by getting involved in _other_ things." Axel responded.

I coughed. Stuttered. Coughed again.

Axel took my hand, and led me to the door.

"See ya later, Demyx."

"See ya!"

When we arrived at the restaurant Axel paused outside the door, tapping his foot.

"Are we going in?" I asked after some time had passed.

He nodded, and started towards the entrance.

"Be nice, for your father's sake," I pleaded.

He shook his head, "No, I'll do it because **you** asked me to."

It wasn't what I had hoped for, but I'd take what I got. I doubted that Axel had ever 'played nice' for any reason.

We entered, and I was quickly overcome by tranquil atmosphere of the place.

Everything around us looked expensive, as if I were surrounded by perfectly preserved antiques. There was live music, and a dance floor; behind which was a man-made waterfall. The beauty of it brought a smile to my face.

"This is it, no turning back." Axel warned.

I held his hand a little tighter and grinned at him. I wanted him to know that I wouldn't leave his side.

He bent down and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Axel!"

Axel brought himself back up, but from the angle they were coming from, I couldn't see Reno or his girlfriend.

"Honey, I want you to meet my oldest son, Axel."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," the woman said, shaking his hand.

_Wow, her voice sounded familiar._

"The pleasure is all mine, I'm sure. My I introduce my boyfriend, Roxas?" He moved so that she and I could see each other.

We stood there, looking at each other in shock for a moment until she spoke.

"Roxas?"

"MOM!?"

Author's note: And that is the first cliffhanger I've left you guys with. XD Love me? Hate me? Let me know in your review, but there's far more to that part of the story than you know yet. You'll see in the next chapter, and you might be surprised, or you might not, but my boyfriend smacked the back of my head when I told him that was the end of the chapter. XD ((I read it to him)) So review, and the story will continue!


	9. Within you

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: HOMG! So many reviews!

kinex-part of organization...- I'm so glad you're liking it so far! Hopefully this next chapter will make you love me. upperright...- And more chapters you shall get! Akane-Luff- Ya know, I've been needing someone to beta with. I'd be happy to take you up on that! PapouGirl- Yes, suckface totally rules. This is more than in time for you to come home to! Ladyameena22- Yes, I thought that would be a very surprising twist to the story. Trust me, you never know what to expect with me. XD echi- Akward situations is my specialty. And yeah, Reno is weird. Neko-tan- I love you too! XD Yes, the het monster has been scared away by all of my wonderful reviewers! Thank you guys so much! Sleighbells- Yeah, a few of my friends ranted and raved at me to write the next chapter. I was threatened with death. o.o InuYashaFan77- That seems to be a common reaction. Akane-luff- Actually, the coughing and stuttering is a bad habit that I have, and my friend said it would be cute if I made Roxas do it. XD I kinda put a piece of myself into all the characters, I can't help it. Yaoilover S- Y'know, it's also my personal theory that Axel is Riku's nobody. It makes sense in my head, anyway. kogalover38- Glad to see that you like it! X3 Tayels- Lol, that makes me really happy. You don't even know. LadyTori- Actually, when I was a kid I wanted to be a novelist. So far though, the only thing that I have published is poetry. I'm going to keep writing though, and maybe one day I'll send you all copies of my book. XD FoxDemonKirara- You'll just have to wait and see on that one I guess. XD The Last Keyblade Master- That's an awful lot to read! Thank you for your praises, I can't wait for you all to read this chapter.

This chapter is dedicated to all my lovely reviewers. X3

Chapter nine: Within you

"MOM!?"

I took a step back, looking into her eyes, which were as blue as my own.

"Oh," Reno interrupted with a sly grin crossing his lips, "You two know each other?"

Axel was glaring harshly at his father.

"Oh, Roxas!" the woman put her arms around me and held me close. "I'm so glad you're alright!"

My wits came back to me, and I scowled, not returning the embrace.

_Yeah, you must have been terribly worried. Between your dating life that is._

I frowned, and put my hands on her shoulders, peeling myself off.

"I left you messages, Ma, but now I see that you were out with Reno and may not have gotten them."

She frowned and looked to my face. "Oh, I got them honey, but I just worried."

"Yeah, I can tell."

The woman sighed, and gave a weak smile to Axel, "So, are you the one who has been... er... taking care of my son?"

I could tell that wasn't the question she really wanted to ask.

"Uh, yes, Mrs... Oh, I never caught your last name." Axel replied.

"How rude of me! My last name is Hikari, same as Roxas', but you can call me Rita."

I hadn't realized that I had never given Axel my last name, but then- I didn't know his either.

"Rita, got it."

"Well then, Reno, Axel, hun, shall we sit down?" she was faking being polite and proper. I couldn't stand it.

Everything- her red dress, her fresh-looking make-up, her smile; it was all fake.

We took seats at the table and ordered our drinks.

"So, Axel, where do you live?" my mother asked him.

"Downtown." He replied cooly, placing his hand over mine under the table. I was thankful for the comforting touch.

My mother's face grimaced for the slightest fraction of a second before regaining that fake smile she showed.

"And what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a construction worker."

She laughed, and put her hand on Reno's chest. "It seems that all the males in your family are tough-guys."

"I take it you've met Seifer?" I said, gritting my teeth.

She nodded. "I know you don't like him honey, but he just needs a mother's love."

"I guess Reno will have to find a different girlfriend, then." I retorted before I knew what I said.

The table went silent, until my boyfriend spoke as we recieved our drinks.

"So, Ms. Hika- Rita, what do you do?"

"Oh, I work an office job in the same building as your father. Strange that we never met until just a few days ago."

Reno grinned, "Well, our children met, and then we bumped into each other in the hallway. Maybe it was fate."

_My and Axel's fate. Not yours._

The waiter gave us our menus, and we started to look them over.

"It's on me you two," Reno said to Axel and I, "So order anything you want."

The way Axel looked over everything, I thought he was trying to decide the most expensive meal he could eat.

I looked over my own, trying to avoid eye contact with Rita.

"Roxas, honey, have you been going to school?" she asked, though I didn't look at her.

"Er... no."

"Oh. Well, when are you coming home?"

"Y'know, I don't think I am."

I squeezed Axel's hand, but Sora caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. He and Riku were dancing happily on the floor provided. Riku seemed to be dancing well, but Sora was doing 'the monkey'.

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"That's funny to you, Roxas?"

I looked toward my mother, who wore a hurt expression on her face.

"Huh?"

"You don't want to come home, and somehow that's funny?"

"No, no! It was just... a thought that popped into my head. I'm sorry."

The woman sighed, and looked into my face with concern. "Why don't you want to come home?"

"I... just..."

_I want to stay with Axel._

"Theres some things I have to do."

"Are you on drugs?"

"What!?"

Axel stroked my palm with his fingers, and looked at me from the corner of his eye with a grin.

"No, I didn't think you were." Rita continued.

"Well, isn't this nice," Reno blurted, "All of us here- one big, happy family."

Axel chuckled, and I bit my lip.

"You know," Reno went on, "If Rita and I get married, you two will be broth-OW!"

He grabbed his knee and looked at his son, who whistled and flipped a page of the menu. "Sorry, my leg twitched."

Reno's hand went into a fist, and he shook it slightly, but he let it drop and instead scowled at his son. "No problem,"

"Are you alright, dear?" Rita asked.

"Yeah, yeah. It probably won't even leave a bruise."

I wanted to kiss Axel just then.

What if Rita and Reno did get married? Axel and I would be step-brothers! I had just gotten over the fact that Axel was a _guy_, but I didn't think I could handle it if he were legally my _brother_.

I mean, I'm sure that Reno and my mother deserved happiness, but what about me and Axel? Shouldn't it be a first-come first-serve kind of deal?

"Do you live alone, Axel?" Rita asked.

"I did before Roxas, but two of my friends live just next door. What about you?"

"Well, before Roxas left it was he, my boyfriend Rick and I. But, Rick and I broke up shortly after Roxas left."

"I was wondering what happened to him." I mumbled.

"What was that, honey?"

"Nothing."

The waiter came back, and the four of us ordered. I looked to Axel and told him that we should scarf down our food and get out of there, only it was with my eyes. He grinned, so I assume he heard my plea and agreed.

I picked up my drink to take a sip.

"Axel, let me know if this is too personal," my mother said, "But, uh, are you _active_?"

I spit out my drink onto the tablecloth.

"I-I have to go to the bathroom!"

I ran into the men's room and pressed myself against the door. My mother was giving my boyfriend _the talk_. She had never known I was gay- not that I had either- and she never asked any of my female friends questions like that!

I looked into the mirror opposite me, and saw my burning cheeks and sweaty forehead.

I wiped my brow and moved to the sink, now looking into that mirror instead.

Why? Why did Reno have to be dating my mother? It wasn't fair!

My thoughts were interupted by a knock on the door.

"Roxas? Can I come in?" It was Axel.

"Yeah."

He did, and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. "You alright?"

"Axel, she just asked you if we had sex as politely as she could!"

"Yeah, and I rushed out here after you. We sucessfully avoided the question."

"Axel, if your dad and my mom get married-"

"I know."

"But, wouldn't that change things?"

He walked over to me, and put his hand on my cheek.

"Roxas, my feelings for you are not going to change- no matter what happens."

_How he could make me feel so much better._

"Truth is, Roxas, our relationship is going to be hard. Very hard. There are lots of people out there who don't agree with homosexual relationships, and some of those people are going to give us trouble. If our parents get married, we will have double the problems. You know what, though? I don't care. This isn't about everyone else, this isn't about what people think of us or even say. It's about you and me, Roxas. Just you, and me."

I smiled. This was perfect, he and I standing here looking at eachother like this. I didn't care that it was in a bathroom, all of that had faded away when he spoke to me. There were no walls, there was no floor or ceiling, no parents waiting for us to come out and have dinner with them. It was just Axel and I together, like we would always be.

He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, before looking down into my eyes. I felt like I was swimming in his bright green orbs, covered in his affections.

He kissed my lips, and I felt the rush of our feelings combine within me and I felt as if I would explode.

Everything about him enticed me; the way his cologne smelled, the way his lips still tasted of cigarettes, the way his soft skin brushed against my nose as we kissed. It was enough to make me melt.

_Axel, I will live forever within your eyes._

After the kiss, he coaxed me out of the bathroom and guided me back to the table.

Reno grinned at the two of us, and we took our seats.

"This place has wonderful music," my mother commented, hoping to change the subject.

I looked to Axel. "Do you think they'd let Demyx play here?"

"Maybe. He'd have to tone it down a bit and dress up, but we both know he's good enough."

"Is this Demyx a friend of yours?" my mother asked.

"I met him through Axel, but he told me they've been friends since they were practically in diapers."

"And he's a musician? What does he play?"

"He plays the sitar," Reno interrupted, "He's quite good."

Our food arrived, and we fell silent temporarily, savoring the food we were served.

"Oh, this duck is delicious, Roxas, you should try some."

I wanted to scrunch up my face and stick my tongue out like when I was younger.

"No thanks, mom."

I hated duck.

We continued our dinner, making small talk, until we again fell silent. It was hard for us to talk, given the situation.

Finally, my mother slammed her fork and knife down on the table and looked at me.

"Roxas, you're GAY!"

I coughed, as I was in the middle of taking a drink, and patted a napkin on my lips.

Thanks, mom. I wanted the entire restaraunt to stare at me.

"Excuse me?" I squeeked.

The woman put a hand to her forehead, resting her elbow on the table and looked at me.

"When did you become gay, Roxas? There's still pictures of girls in bikinis on the walls of your bedroom!"

"Well... I don't really know _when_..." I managed to choke out.

"You were always so **normal**!" her voice cracked, and it looked like her eyes were tearing up.

"I-I..." I couldn't force out any words.

"When Reno told me that his son was gay it didn't bother me at all, but you're _my_ son!"

Axel again took his hand in mine, and he spoke for me.

"He's still the same person, Rita. Nothing's changed."

She put her face in her hands and started to sob. "He's _gay_."

Why does the earth never open up and swallow you whole when you want it to? Is that really so much to ask?

Reno put his arms around my mother. "Honey, it's alright. It doesn't change anything."

"I'll never have any grandchildren!" her voice cracked through her sobs.

"They can still adopt," Reno assured her, but her sobs only grew louder.

Everyone in that place was staring at our table.

"I'll never get to show pictures of Roxas as a baby to my daughter in law!"

"You could always show them to Axel..."

The woman's tears wouldn't stop.

I stood up and looked to my boyfriend. "Maybe we should go?"

He nodded, and looked to Reno. "Call me later, so I can relay to Roxas how she's doing."

Reno agreed, and Axel led me out of the restaraunt towards the station.

Everyone in there had looked from my mother to me, and then looked at me as if I was some kind of freak. Was I a freak? Were Axel and I freaks just because we had feelings for eachother and we were the same sex?

I looked at Sora, walking next to me, hand in hand with Riku as I was with Axel. He seemed to be wondering the same thing.

"Axel?"

"Mmm?"

"Are we freaks?"

He laughed and continued walking. "Some people think so. People are afraid of things they don't understand."

"But _are_ we?"

He stopped walking, and turned to me. "No, I don't think so. We truly care about eachother, and I think that's one of the most pure and normal things you can find."

We continued down the street, and boarded the subway. There were no empty seats, and so we stood. Axel draped his arm around me and planted a kiss on my forehead.

I tried to pry myself free, but he wouldn't let me go.

"Axel, people will know!"

"I don't care. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

He was right. There was no reason for us to hide who we were. Heterosexual couples could kiss and hold hands in public, so why couldn't we? Didn't we have the same rights as everyone else?

Riku and Sora were snuggling at the other end of the compartment, and Axel and I grinned. That was us, over there.

I looked back up at my boyfriend, and pulled his head down to mine, sharing a tender kiss. I knew that people were staring, but I didn't care. We were together. We were lovers. No, we were in love, even if niether of us had admitted it yet.

When it ended, and rested my head on his chest for the rest of the ride. Being with Axel made me happy. I had meant what I said to him, what seemed like ages ago but was really only a few days.

He really did show me how to live again.

When we arrived back at Axel's apartment, he digged for the keys in his pocket, and put them in the lock, opening the door.

"Axel?"

He looked to me.

"Yeah?"

"I... I love you."

He turned to face me and smiled.

"I love you too."

I put my arms around him, and brought him into a passionate kiss. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Our lips locked, and he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his frame and he carried me into the room, shutting the door with his foot. He brought me over to the bed, and I fumbled with the buttons on his coat. When I had finally wrenched them free, he flung the cloth off himself, breaking the kiss. I brought him back to me with his tie, and he pushed my jacket off and to the side. Our tongues met, and I pulled his tie off from around his neck as he quickly undid the buttons on my shirt. We flung said items around the room, and switched.

My breath was quickening now, as we rolled over on eachother on Axel's bed, never breaking our kiss. I was filled with excitement and anticipation as I felt the skin on my chest brush against his. Finally, I reached down for the button on his pants, but he broke the kiss.

"Roxas-"

"I'm ready."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

He again brought his lips to mine, and his tongue mingled with mine as we took off eachother's pants and got under the sheets. Our bodies pressed together, our hands running over every inch of each other in exploration. Every curve of his body felt like heaven under my palms, and Axel flipped us over so that I was under him. I felt him pressing for entry between my legs, and my body shivered, knowing what was about to happen.

"It might hurt," he whispered to me.

"I know."

"I'll try not to make it so bad."

"I trust you."

He slid himself into me, and my nails dug into his back as a gasp escaped my lips. There was pain, but it was far surpassed by the pleasure I felt not only physically, but on the emotional standpoint of Axel and I becoming one. He started to move his hips gently, and I panted, scratching his back and moaning. I heard his sounds of pleasure as they brushed past my ear, the warmth of his breath only further enticing me.

I ran my hands along his back, and he started nibbling and sucking on my tender neck. I loved the way his thin muscular body covered mine with warmth and pleasure. He brought his lips to mine, and I licked at his lower lip until he let me in.

We rolled over and I was on top, in charge of our motions. I ventured farther than Axel had, because he was worried he would hurt me, but I didn't care. I wanted to know what it felt like when he was completely inside me.

We both gasped at the motion, and I moved down to give sweet kisses to his chest and neck. He put his hand into my hair, as I moaned through my kisses to his body with moans of pleasure.

It may have been hours, but to me at least, time had no meaning in that moment. When we finally came it was together, and- since Axel had ended up on top again- he rolled over onto the bed, and put a hand through his hair. We were both panting, and covered in sweat.

I took a deep breath, and heard Axel chuckling. My eyes turned to him, and he grinned at me. "It didn't hurt too much, did it?"

I smiled back, and moved so that my head rested on his chest. "No, it was perfect."

"I love you, Roxas."

"I love you too, Axel."

Shortly after that, we fell asleep.

Author's note: So, how much do you love me now? Worth the cliffhanger or what, guys? I'm very sad to say that this may have to hold you over for a few days if I can't get a hold of another computer, 'cause my mom's is making weird noises and she has to get it fixed. (Who even knew that shit like that happens?) I promise to try my best though, so review and let me know how you feel! Also, Ladyameena22 was my 50th reviewer, so I ask that in her review she let me know either a plot line or pairing that she would like me to base a one-shot on special for her! When we hit 100, I will do another one shot. CONGRATS, LADYAMEENA22:D


	10. Both of us, broken

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes:There were so many lovely reviews, that I didn't even know what to do with them! It would take me forever to answer all of them, and I only have a limited amount of time on this computer, so I'm very sorry! I would also like to apologize for such a late update, but don't fret! There will be more soon! I've also finished my short little one-shot for Ladyameena22, so be sure to check it out! Anyways, I think you'll find the suprise in this chapter quite pleasant. By the way, I've actually had this chapter done for quite some time now, but as if I wasn't having enough comp troubles, my computer stopped reading Java, and I couldn't upload new chapters. Anyway, I now have internet again and will be able to update just as quickly as I was in the past! Hope that's exciting news for ya.

Chapter 10: Both of us, broken

_I stood over a balcony, Axel at my side. Our hands were locked, eyes staring out at the waves crashing on the sand below._

_I felt the wind blow through my hair, and I turned to see Axel's locks swaying as well. He was beautiful- perfect even -that sweet pink smirk and those loving bright green eyes. Those black triangular tatooes and his tall frame with a face surrounded by fierce spikey red locks brushed softly by the salty ocean air._

_Axel was strong, mysterious, and handsome. He was mine, and I was his._

_For a moment, the tall frame of my boyfriend flickered to that of Hayner's, his brown eyes staring sadly into mine._

_I frowned, looking again at my lovely-_

_Hayner._

_Axel._

_Hayner._

_Axel._

_I stepped back, holding my head._

_Why ws this happening?_

_Again, Axel's frame changed to Hayner, and the ghost-like boy walked torwards me._

_"Roxas," he spoke like the wind, walking to me ever so slowly._

_My body shook, gazing on his cold, sad eyes._

_"Roxas..." he repeated, the bones in my body turning to ice._

_I shook my head, gasping._

_No._

_Hayner is **dead**._

_The boy who had been my best friend stood before me now, his eyes staring deep into mine, and I thought he would tear out my soul._

_"It's not too late, Roxas."_

_I couldn't take my eyes from him. "What?"_

_"You can let go now, and come with me."_

_He put out his hand for me to take it._

_"Let go?"_

_Die._

_I slowly reached out for his hand._

-------------------------

My eyes slowly opened, and I looked upon the nude body of the blonde I had taken to bed.

I grunted, and sat up, looking at my alarm clock.

I had woken before it had gone off,

I ran a hand through my red tresses before looking at Roxas' sleeping body. He was still, his porcelain skin shining with beads of sweat in the dim light.

-Wait. He was too still. I turned him over onto his back, and looked at his face. His nostrils did not move, nor did his chest.

"Roxas!" I shook the boy, tears streaming down my face.

"Roxas!" I heard some noises in Demyx's apartment, but I didn't pay any attention. I pressed my lips to Roxas' and pushed air into his lungs.

I listened to his chest, and heard Demyx come into the room, before I again breathed into Roxas' mouth.

Demyx screamed for Zexion, and I soon hear the sound of a phone number being dialed. Three soft beep noises.

No doubt, 911.

As I continued my CPR, Demyx slipped pants onto the helpless boy.

"A-Axel..."

I looked into his eyes, and he smiled at me for a moment before his eyes again closed, and he fainted in my arms.

Well, at least he was breathing.

Soon, an ambulance came, and we rushed to the hospital.

-------------------------

I was cold, though bright lights surrounded me- though that was all I could see. Everything else was blurry/

Where was I?

I saw a flash of red, and heard a familliar voice call my name.

"Roxas, are you ok?"

A blonde streak. "Is he awake?"

Plue? Blurple? "Give him some room."

The three colors came into focus, and I recognized them as Axel, Zexion, and Demyx.

"Oh, hey guys."

I moved to sit up, but winced in pain as I felt something in my arm.

After examining said arm, a realized I was hooked up to an IV.

"What the hell?"

"You stopped breathing," Axel mumbled around a cigarette, "but they don't know why."

Axel was smoking a cigarette in a **hospital**.

"Axel, put that out! You can't-"

" 'em," Axel replied, moving to my side, "I'll smoke where I want."

He grinned at me, and I remembered Hayner.

"Don't scare me like that, kid." Axel said, snapping me out of my daze.

"Huh? Oh, sorry."

Had my dream somehow affected my reality? It seemed as though almost taking Hayner's hand and letting go was what caused me to simply stop breathing.

I couldn't figure out why I had gone to take Hayner's hand though. I mean, I was happy with Axel wasn't I?

"Guilt." I heart Sora say from a chair near my bed.

"You feel guilt for not stopping him."

Tears were stinging at my bright blue eyes. He was right, I did feel guilty for the death of my best friend.

"Roxas," Axel started, "What's wrong?"

I felt a tear run down my cheek but quickly wiped it away.

"Nothing, I- I think I just need to rest."

The trio nodded, and left the room, Axel giving me a kiss on the forehead first.

I turned to the brunette, and frowned. "Do you think he forgives me?"

"I'm sure he does."

Sora's face seemed somber, which was unusual because he was always so cheery. But there he sat, one hand propping up his head with a soft pout on his lips, his ocean eyes not looking into mine.

"We both feel the pain," Sora remarked.

"Yeah," I agreed, putting a hand to my chest, "It feels like a part of me died with him."

"We were always together," Sora added.

"But now he's gone, and he'll never come back."

"Roxas, do you think Axel will leave us?"

I smiled. "Not a chance."

Sora's face lit up with a smile, and I couldn't help but return it whole-heartedly.

We were two pieces of the same person, Sora and I, no matter what.

I guess I must have fallen asleep, because the nest thing I remember is Axel waking me up.

"Can't sleep all the time," he remarked, handing me a cup of coffee.

I grumbled a few obscenities, but took the offering. No half-asleep being refuses caffine.

"They want you to stay overnight." Axel told me, taking a seat by me.

"What? But there's nothing wrong with me!"

_And I look ridiculous in this paper gown._

"They want to be sure. I sent Demyx and Zexion home, and I took the day off so that I can stay with you."

"Thanks, Axel, but I... I know why I stopped breathing."

I reluctantly told Axel all about my dream, and how I was going to let go.

"So, you want to give up and die?" Axel asked, turning away from me.

"No, that's not it..."

"That's what it sounds like." Axel retorted.

"No, I was _letting go_... there's a difference."

"Wrong, Roxas! 'Letting go' is taking the easy way out! It's stupid and cowardly!" he yelled at me.

I looked away from him in anger. He just didn't understand.

But, wait, his mother had commited suicide. Of course he had strong feelings about the subject.

"Axel, I'm sorry. It wasn't really what I wanted, it was just a dream."

"I'm just glad I woke up when I did," he replied.

"Me too."

We fell silent for some time, and I fiddled with the needles in my arm, trying to keep them from being so painful.

That's when Reno and my mother came in.

"Roxas!" my mother exclaimed, running over and taking me in her arms. All my work at making those needles more comfortable- gone.

I guessed that Axel had called Reno and Reno had called my mother.

"Hi, mom." my voice lacked enthusiasm.

"What happened, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, don't worry. Hey, Reno."

Reno nodded to me, having chosen to take a seat in one of the chair provided.

My mother sat on the edge of my bed, and looked sadly at me with the same blue eyes she had given me at birth.

"Roxas, I want you to come home."

"Mom, I'm fine. I don't need to-"

"Obviously, honey, you're not taking care of yourself and you need me to help.

My eyes gazed to Axel, but he did not return the glance. His face seemed expressionless and empty.

I looked back at my mother.

"No, I'm staying with Axel."

"Roxas, you are my legal responsability, and I cannot allow you to-"

"I said no!"

I glared harshly at the woman who had given me life. The same woman who had ran away with me from my father when I was just a toddler. The same woman who spent her nights drinking instead of tucking her child into bed. The same woman who was too busy to show up to a school play or a parent-teacher conference.

It was too late to be a mother now.

"But you're not even going to school!"

"Axel has the day off tomorrow, we'll work it out then."

I may have hurt my mother's feelings just then, since it seemed so by her face. We looked at eachother for a moment, before she stood up.

"Well, alright then. Just, call me sometime. I miss you, Roxas."

"Alright, I will." I responded, as I watched my mother and Reno stand.

"Feel better, kid. Take care, Axel." Reno said.

"Later, Dad." Axel replied.

"Bye mom, bye Reno."

It was still weird to see Reno with my mother, and I could see that Sora agreed. He stared at them from his seat.

They left, and again Axel and I were alone. Save the other parts of ourselves, that is.

"I'm almost surprised." Axel said after a few moments.

"About what?"

"You didn't go with your mother. She seemed concerned."

"I'm fine."

"Are you?" Axel looked at me curiously.

"Yeah, I mean, I guess. It's just that Hayner still kinda haunts me."

"He was your best friend. Besides, are you sure you really want your memories of him to stop coming to mind?"

"Well... I guess not."

"There ya go, then."

_"It's not how often we see eachother, what matters is how often we think about eachother, right?"_

Hayner had said that once to Pence, Olette, and I. I suppose it still sung true.

"Tomorrow, I'll work on a way to get you to and from school," Axel said, interupting my thoughts. "I think I've got it all worked out," he continued.

"How?" I asked.

He winked at me mischieviously, "It's a suprise."

I grinned at my red-tressed lover.

"I'll look forward to it."

The day had passed, and Roxas and Axel fell asleep at the hospital. It was kinda cute, with Axel halfway on the bed and halfway on the chair.

I looked to Riku with a grin.

"So long as they're together, we will be too, right?"

"That's right." he answered me.

"But, Riku, what happens when we become whole again?"

"You'll go back to being Roxas, and I'll be Axel again."

"I'm scared. I'll miss you."

He placed a gently peck on my forehead, before looking at me with his soft aqua eyes.

"Sora, there's nothing to be afraid of. You and I will see each other the same way we do now, but we'll be inside our original selves."

"You're sure?" I felt a pout cross my lips.

Riku chuckled and pet my hair.

"Absolutely."

"I trust you, then."

I snuggled up to him, and he draped one of his strong arms over my shoulders.

"How are we going to become one with Roxas and Axel again?" I asked, wondering if Riku even knew.

He turned to me with a soft smile.

"Sora, no matter where we go, the people we love- dead or alive -are always with us. People are eternal. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because we remember them. They live forever in out memories, and so they never die. So long as one person remembers them, they live on. The world and everything in it share a destiny. We are all part of it. Even you and I. When Axel and Roxas realize this, we can be whole again."

"Oh, I see. They don't have to let go of Hayner or Axel's mom. They have to remember them, and keep them alive in their hearts."

"Exactly."

"Y'know, I like that. I hoep and and Roxas live forever in the memories of others."

"They wil Sora, and so will we."

I toyed with a silver lock of hair between my fingers.

"Then, I'm not afraid to go back into Roxas, I'm actually excited. Together again, and forever. I can't wait."

"Same here. I've been waiting a long time to reunite with Axel. Then, everything will be as it should be."

"Yeah, it'll be great."

Author's notes: Hooray for Sora/Riku interaction! Please review, guys! I'll reply for sure next time! I promise.


	11. Secrets and Turmoil

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: X fuji X - Well, here's just teh chapter for you to find out Axel's suprise. Enjoy! AJ CAN'T HACKIT- ::Is tackled:: Well hello there, I'm happy to be back! I luuurve you too, and indeed wootage for Sora/Riku interaction. Enjoy these next two chapters! HellCat- Hehe, no, Axel's personality actually hasn't changed much, as you will soon see, it's just that he hasn't gotten overly pissed in some time. But you just wait, you're in for a plesant suprise. ASKInfinity- You think _that_ was plot advancement? Ugh.. .man, it's about to get a LOT more interesting. Bet no one can guess the answer to the riddle. XD PapouGirl- Aww, I'm sorry you hurt your arm. Sorry I scared you! And sorry in advance if you cry, though I won't say if it would be from happiness or distress. Neko-Tan- Oh don't worry, he returns with even more Axel gun action than before. He was just trying to be careful around Roxas. LadyTori- I'm sorry you cried! I like the Sora Riku moment as well. chibi neko doll- I'm glad to have moved you! I love you too. ::Huggles:: Devatation-Eve- I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story so far! Now might be a good time to mention that my spelling ablilities are the suxorrz? Yeah, hehe... Also, you were the 100th reviewer! That means you get to pick a plot line or pairing for a one shot! Please leave it in yor next review.

Chapter 11: Secrets and Turmoil

The light from the hospital room window shined in, sweeping over my eyelids. I opened my eyes, putting a hand up to block the sun, and sat up. I smiled, seeing Axel half layed across the bed and partially in the chair. He was still in his slumber.

I sld my fingers through his mussed red locks, suprisingly finding them to be soft. He grumbled a little and stirred. I couldn't help but laugh at his sleepy antics.

He sat up and looked at me with tired, neon-green eyes. He then growled and shook is head.

"Fucking light!"

"How'd you sleep?" I asked.

He groaned, "I think I pulled all the muscles in my upper body. You're a load of trouble, you know that?"

I laughed, and put my hand on his comfortingly.

"So, you ready to leave this dump?" he asked.

"As soon as they give me my clothes."

Then, there was a knock at the door, and Demyx poked his smiling face in.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, walking into the room with a package tucked under his arm.

"Never better, what's that?"

"It's a get well soon present. Zexion and I bought it last night."

Leave it to Demyx to pamper.

"Thanks, man. Can I open it?"

He nodded, and handed me the gift.

I pulled on the ribbon around it, and removed the paper. Tossing it to the side, I opened the box, and pulled out the first item. It was a white jacket, with red lining, and a checker pattern going around the shoulders and across the chest. I admired it for a moment, but Demyx pressed me on.

I then took out the second item- a sleeveless black sip-up sweater with an x-like zipper detail. Very cool.

Next came a two-toned pair of pants, which were black from top to mid-thigh, before they were khaki with little silver buttons seemingly attatching them, though they were honestly just for show. Demyx seemed to be bursting with delight at the gifts and urged me to continue.

There were dark grey sater shoes, with red laces- obviously to match the red lining in the jacket. Last, but not least, there was a checker patterned wrist band, and two finger cuffs- one black, one white.

I smiled, "You trying to tell me something Demyx?"

The sandy-blonde grinned back. "Actually, I hadn't thought about the fact that you've been stealing my clothes. I just saw these, and knew it was you."

Axel laughed, "Well, won't you be trendy then?"

"Thanks Demyx, this is a great present."

"No problem."

Axel stood up, and fussed with his hair. "Roxas, now that Demyx is here to tend to you, I'm going to go get that suprise I mentioned. You get checked out of here and I'll meet you in the lobby. Got it memorized?"

"Memorized." I answered, giving him a grin. He kissed my lips tenderly, and walked out.

"Suprise?" Demyx asked me.

"I have no idea what it is either."

The doctor came in, and checked all my vitals. When he was finally convinced that I was alright and removed me from everything I was hooked up to, Demyx sent me in the bathroom to change.

I adorned my new outfit, and looked in the mirror as I slipped my fingercuffs onto the index and middle finger of my left hand.

"The red compliments your eyes," I heard Sora say to me.

It was true. The blue looked brighter somehow.

"Yeah, I like this outfit."

"Axel's going to love it! You look great."

I grinned and turned to him. "Thanks."

"Hayner would have liked it."

My grin faded. "Hayner..."

"Don't push him out," Sora pleaded with me, "Let him live fondly within you."

I knew that Sora's words were pure and true, but I couldn't bring myself to obey them.

"Thanks, Sora, I really appreciate it."

"It's nothing. I want to help you."

I smiled genuinely, "You make a good other."

When I went back into the room, Demyx wasn't there. I assumed he had gone to the lobby, and headed that way as well.

When I got there, Demyx handed me a can of soda he had obviously bought from the vending machine.

"Thirsty?"

"Yeah, thanks." I opened it and took a sip. When the cool liquid slid down my throat, and around the lining of my stomache to rest at the very bottom, my hunger hit me.

"Damn, I'm starving." I voiced aloud, resting a hand on my grumbling tummy.

"Well, Axel should be back soon. He left two and a half hours ago."

"What? It's been that long?"

Demyx nodded, taking a sip of his own drink. "Time flies when you're being probed, I guess."

I laughed.

What could he be doing for this long?

For another half an hour, Demyx and I waited for him in the lobby of the hospital.

"Hey!" he called to us as he walked in the door, one hand behind his back.

We met halfway, and I guilt-tripped him with my eyes.

"Where have you been? I'm starving!"

He ignored my question. "Demyx, will you meet us back at the apartment?"

"Sure, I'll see you guys later." He waved, and walked out.

Axel then turned to me, and pulled a black helmet from behind his back.

"Here, you'll need this."

I took it, but looked blankly at him. "Huh?"

"Let's go get something to eat."

He lead me outside, and I finally put two and two together.

Axel walked over to a sleek black motorcycle- brand new, and took his helmet off the handle.

"It's great, isn't it? I've been saving for ages, and finally had a reason to buy it. Now I can take you to school in the morning, and Demyx agreed to meet you in the afternoon to ride the train home."

I grinned widely, remembering when Demyx had told me about Axel's motorcycle racing dream. He now had one of his own, and I was glad to be a deciding factor in it.

"It's great, Axel. Thanks in advance for giving me a ride to school."

"No problem. Get on, let's go home and persuade Demyx into making lunch."

He then dissapeared under his helmet, and I put on mine as well.

He climed on, and I mounted it behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

He started it, and we took off. I couldn't believe how great a feeling it was. The wind whipping against the skin of my arms, and the distinct feeling of freedom as I clung to the one I loved - it was ecstacy.

I could almost feel his smile, pulling my own lips upward.

When we arrived at the apartment building, Demyx had just gotten there as well, and was clapping appraisingly at Axel's bike. We pulled into the parking lot, and Demyx ran over. He reached us as we got off, and removed our helmets.

"Well, you're looking lively," he told us, smirking.

"This is why I asked you to meet Roxas outside his school. I won't be able to bring him home because of work, and I didn't want him to be lonely," Axel explained.

"Not a problem," Demyx said, grinning at me all the while, "Let's go inside and I'll make some lunch."

And we did just that.

Demyx cooked up some delicious quesadillas, and the three of us devoured them.

When we had just finished, Axel's cell phone rang. He removed it from his back pocket and flipped it open, holding it to his ear.

"Axel." he said.

"Hello, Axel," A woman's voice said, earning a raised eyebrow from the red-haired pyromaniac.

"This is Roxas' mother, may I speak to him?"

"Oh, yes, of course Ms. Hikari." He handed me the phone, and I brought it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sweetie. I was just thinking, and maybe you should come pick up some of your things since you're going to be staying with Axel for... some time. You could use my car, if you need to."

Weird. My mom wasn't freaking out, _and_ she was offering to help.

"Uh, ok, mom. Axel and I will be over there later."

"Me too!" Demyx added. Obviously, he could hear her as well.

"And Demyx, if it's ok."

"Alright, sweetie. Will you stay for dinner?"

_No. NO!_

"S-sure."

We hung up, and I found myself wanting to take back dinner arrangements once again.

I sighed. She was going to let us use her car, the least I could do was have dinner with her.

"Roxas... Are we having dinner with your mother again?" Axel asked, rubbing his temple with distress.

I stared at my now empty plate.

"... Yes."

The red-head sighed and stood, taking our plates into the kitchen silently. He was obviously dreading it.

"Well, since it's the three of us," Demyx interrupted the silence, "We can take the subway."

It seemed like only moments had passed before I was entering my mother's apartment.

"Hello, boys," she chirped, "Oh, you must be Demyx!"

She embraced said blonde, who enthusiasticly hugged her back. "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Hikari!"

"Please, call me Rita."

The two parted, and the woman turned to me. "I've already packed your clothes, hun. I... I want you to know that I'll always love you, no matter what."

"O...kay..." I managed, before hurrying off to my room to start loading my things into my mother's car.

------------------------------------

When we finally finished moving Roxas' things into my apartment, (clothes, a TV, video games, and such), we sat down to dinner with Rita and my father for dinner.

"Oh Demyx, you're too much!" Rita cooed. She had taken a liking to my musicly inclined friend, and did not bother hiding it.

"Well, that's what happens when you eat too many pastries!" he concluded.

My gaze shifted over to that of Roxas, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

_Poor kid._

"Roxas, honey, did you and Axel determine what you'll do about school?" Rita questioned.

My poor boyfriend avoided eye-contact with her as though he were a puppy that had just soiled the carpet.

"Yes. I'm going back tomorrow."

"Wonderful!" she exclaimed, turning to Reno.

"So, you finally got a bike of your own," my father said, "Congrats, Axel."

"Needed to get Roxas to school," I stated matter-of-factly.

Deep within myself, I was plotting 'Operation Break Up' for Rita and said red-haired chromosone donor of mine.

After some more uncomfortable conversations, it was time to go.

The three of us walked torward the exit, but something clasping my hand stopped me.

Because they were ahead of me, Demyx and Roxas did not notice, and in turn continued walking.

"Axel," Ms. Hikari stated, obviously the one who had stopped me in my tracks.

I turned to face her.

"Hurt my son, and your inevitable death will not be swift."

I looked around the room for my father, but he was not there. Ahh, he was still in the bathroom.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Ms. Hikari."

She looked me over, apparently sizing me up.

"Then if you know what's good for you, you'll send him back home to me."

"And here I was, thinking you could accept your son-"

"Don't fuck with me Axel, I know that Roxas isn't like _that_." The last word was pure venom.

I scoffed. "Bring it on, mother of the year. You don't scare me." I felt fire at my fingertips.

"Oh, really? Would it scare you if I knew about your connection to Hayner?"

I froze, and for the first time in many years I felt fear, laced with rage.

"What are you talking about?" She was bluffing. She had to be.

"You know very well what. Let Roxas go, and all will be forgiven. I'll never say a word. Don't, and well, I don't think Roxas will be quite so generous."

Somehow, I think I swallowed my tongue.

"Understood," I replied, swallowing my pride as well. She released me from hre clutches, and I calmly exited, catching up with the two blondes.

"Hey, what took you so long?" Roxas asked curiously.

"Nothing." I replied harshly, walking past them.

My world was falling down around me, dragging me into the epitome of hell. I hated that woman, I swear I hated her.

This left me in a very sticky situation. I had a very icky decision to make, and both would, in one way or another, crush me.

We continued on torwards the subway and made out way home. I couldn't find a way to speak to the one I loved, and so said nothing at all. Occassionally he would make physical contact, but I pulled away as though it burned. It hurt- I couldn't even look at him- knowing that I was inevitably going to lose him.

I swear I saw tears in my silver-haired other's eyes.

We got into bed when we arrived home, and I felt the boy's body snuggle up to me. I turned so that I didn't face him.

For as much physical warmth Roxas' person provided me with, was ten times as much coldness inside.

Roxas cooed a sleepy "I love you," to me, and I felt a stinging sensation in my eyes.

I said nothing, and tried to sleep. Somehow, I finally passed out through the noise of Riku's sobs.

Author's notes: Go on my pretties! Review and move on to the next chapter!


	12. Have We No Voice?

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: I'd like to take a moment and thank all of the reviewers that have been with me since the beginning, as well as the new additions! Thank you so much for inspiring me to write more! I appreciate it so much! I love all of you::Group huggles:: I'm sad that this story will eventually have to end, but 'so long as it remains in our hearts, it will never die'. Read on, friends!

Chapter 12: Have we no voice?

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

My happy alarm clock chirped at me, and I grabbed my gun off the nightstand, clicking off bullets into the innocent plastic machine.

I cound no blonde-haired boy in my bed this morning, and stood, still letting off rounds.

"Fucking alarm clock!" I yelled at it, glad that my boyfriend had apparently gotten up earlier and gone to Demyx's.

"Fuck you!" I continued to scream at the damaged platic as I pumped it with bullets.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

_Click. Click._

I was out of rounds.

Unfourtunately, I was still filled with bitter rage.

I threw my gun to the side, and proceeded in the kicking of my bed-side table.

No, I had _not_ forgotten about the previous night's events.

When I was finally done stomping on the broken pieces of wood that now lay across the floor, I grabbed some clothes and hopped in the shower.

-------------------------

I had woken up before Axel, and walked over to Demyx's where we discussed Axel's mood the night before.

That is to say, before we heard him wake up.

The screaming of obscenities and sound of a clip being emptied were pleanty of reasons for Demyx, Zexion, and I to stare in fear at the wall seperating the three of us and my crazed boyfriend.

The sounds of smashing, however, made Demyx cower in fear behind Zexion, and myself do the same behind Demyx.

When the noise finally ended, Demyx and I cautiously returned to our seats at the table.

Zexion took a sip of his coffee.

"It seems that something has the resident pyromaniac extremely upset," he stated calmly, not looking up from his newspaper.

How the hell could he be so calm? It sounded like Axel had destroyed the entirety of the apartment!

"Ya _think_?" Demyx squeeked.

I silently wondered exactly what had kept Axel in my house the previous night when we went to leave.

"I wonder if his apartment exploded," Demyx voiced aloud.

Then, the apartment door swung open, and we were graced by my ill-tempered boyfriend's presence.

"Er... good morning..." I managed to choke through my fear.

Axel said nothing, opting to grab a cup of coffee instead.

"You okay?" Demyx dared to ask.

"I'm fine," Axel snarled in reply.

I think Demyx wet himself. His expression all but confessed it.

I was doubly thankful that I had woken up when I had.

"Have a bad dream?" Zexion asked, his eyes resting on the red-haired man.

"You could say that." Said pyro grunted.

Honestly, I think my body was shaking.

"Axel, are you taking me to school today?" I asked.

Again, no reply. He tossed me my helmet as his answer, and started lacing his boots.

Strange, I thought, Axel wouldn't speak to me. Had I done something wrong?

I donned my helmet, and said my goodbyes to Demyx and Zexion. Then, Axel and I headed out to get on his motorcycle, me with my backpack slung over my shoulders.

He hopped on, and I got on behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He seemed to shudder at my touch, and a frown pulled at my lower lip.

Axel started the bike, and we pulled into the morning jumble of cars. As we weaved in and out of traffic, I couldn't be excited about seeing my friends, or even internally praise Axel's motorcycle skills. Instead, my mind was on something of a larger magnitude. I couldn't help but wonder why Axel was acting so strange all of a sudden. I shruged it off, however, as we pulled up to the school.

I removed my life-saving headgear, and saw Olette running up to me.

"Roxas!" she called, hurredly running over to where Axel and I were parked infront of the school.

"Olette, come meet Axel!"

She got to us, and my boyfriend- obviously reluctantly -removed his helmet.

"My name's Olette, I'm a friend of Roxas'," she said, offering her hand for him to shake it.

He accepted the handshake. "Axel." he stated plainly.

"This is my boyfriend," I said, swearing Axel's eye twitched at the last word.

He let go of her hand, and averted his eyes to the ground.

"It's really nice to meet you, but I have to go to work," Axel explained.

"Ok, I'll see you at six, right Axel?"

He nodded, and put on his black plastic head-sheild, before pulling away from the school and onto the road.

"Weid," Ollette commented, raising an eyebrow, "You didn't describe him as anti-social and quiet."

"He isn't, but he's been acting strange lately." I admitted as the two of us walked into the school.

"Any theories?" she asked.

"None. I'm clueless."

We had first period together with Pence. I was happy to see my friends, even if one was missing, and there was another that only I could see.

It was almost, if I may say it, blissfully normal. I quickly rejoined my circle of friends, and was again plotting against my enemies, namely Axel's younger brother- Seifer.

Yes, things were almost the way they had always been. That is, until I excused myself from fifth period for a bathroom break.

As I stood over the sink washing my hands, I saw Sora's face in the mirror, leaning against the wall behind me.

He was frowning, hugging his arms, and his eyes were that of one condemned.

"What's up?" I asked him, thankful that it was just the two of us.

"Something's wrong with Axel," Sora replied in a near whisper. His voice sounded weak, as if he would shatter to pieces at any moment.

"Well, I guessed that mu-"

"No," he said, his saddened voice interrupting me, "Riku wouldn't stop crying."

"What?" I asked now, turning to face him while wiping my hands with a paper towel.

"He won't say anything. He wouldn't even look at me."

Come to think of it, Axel had been avoiding eye contact with me too.

"I'm sure he'll talk about it when he's ready," I reassured him, walking back to my class.

But it bothered me the rest of the day,wondering what Axel could be so worried about.

I met Demyx outside at the end of the day, and I waved to my friends.

"How was school?" He asked me, a bright smile on his face.

I told him of my conversation with Sora on our way to the station.

"Well," he concluded, "it's obvious that something hsa really got Axel upset, but the question is; what?"

I shrugged my shoulders and boarded the subway. "I don't have a clue."

"We'll find out eventually." Demyx said, and we continued on our trip home.

--------------------------

My day was a long, grueling one. Between Riku's mourning and the thoughts of Roxas flickering through my mind, I was so distracted from my work that I had smashed my thumb a total of seven times, and nailed my hand to a piece of wood once.

I think it goes without saying that I was having a **very** shitty day.

I looked tenderly at my bandaged hand, and lifted my hard hat up to wipe the sweat off my brow.

"Axel!" I heard my foreman call, "You're off! Get outta here!"

I happily descended to the ground, wondering how I would manage to drive home with my hand all bandaged.

It turned out not to be so hard, and at exactly 6pm, I was walking up the stairs of my apartment complex.

I wandered into my apartment, hoping that Roxas would be at Demyx's, allowing me to avoid him for a little while longer.

But, alas, I had the shittiest luck in the universe.

When I closed the door behind me, I was greeted by a somewhat sad-sounding "Hey."

I swiveled my head to look at him, only to find that his blue eyes staring at me were like a blinding light, sending pain into every inch of me.

Naturally, I turned away.

"Hey," I muttered back, dropping my helmet beside the blonde on my couch.

"Axel... what's wrong?" he asked. I could feel his eyes searching me with concern.

Crap. I guess this was that whole 'now or never' deal, wasn't it?

"I..." _Come on, Axel, you can do this._

"I think you should go home."

_There. That only ripped out your insides and squashed all hope. Not so bad._

"What?" Blue eyes stared, burning into my flesh with confusion.

"I said you should go home."

I saw a silver-haired boy plunge his face into his hands.

"Axel... I am home. This-" he motioned about the apartment, "is my home. Here, with you."

I felt a ball of fire in my palm, and quickly clenched my hand shut.

"Home is with your mother!" I shouted, masking my pain with anger.

_Very tactful, Axel. Props._

"Axel-"

"Pack some clothes into your backpack." I interrupted, "I'll stop by tomorrow with your stuff." My voice was calmer, but when I looked at Roxas' eyes, my heart broke.

"Y-you... want me to leave?"

I felt pain in my chest, and could no longer bear the side of the blonde object of my affections.

"Yes." I managed, though my throat felt like it was closing up.

"Why?"

_Why do you always have to ask questions!?_

"We can't be together." I answered.

"But, Axel-!"

"We're just not meant to be!" I yelled, turning to him with anger.

The tears that threatened to pour from his eyes were killing me. I knew that should a single tear slide its way down his cheek, I would die.

Thankfully, they didn't fall. I could tell that Roxas was trying his best to be strong.

"Are you going to take me to my mother's now?" he asked, voice cracking.

"Yes." I answered, again grabbing my helmet.

Roxas stuffed some clothes into his bag, and grabbed his helmet. I felt myself being slowly ripped in two as we walked out to my bike, Roxas with his head lowered, walking behind me.

We put on our prtective gear, and got on the motorcycle.

I cringed when he placed his hands on my shoulders instead of wrapping them around my waist.

Funny, it had only started a short while ago, though it seemed like we had been together forever. Now, however, it was all over. All my hopes and dreams were crushed, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I drove slowly in the direction of the Hikari household, dreading the goodbye I would have to say to the only person I every truely loved.

When we arrived, the two of us removed our helmets, and Roxas got off.

He turned to me and held out his helmet, "Here."

"Keep it," I choked out. I brought my eyes up to his, drowning in the blue sorrow they held.

"Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going to let you leave unless you say you don't love me."

I stared at the ground. How could he ask such a thing of me? Didn't he realize that everything I did was for him?

Without lifting my gaze from the pavement, I whispered my reply.

"I don't love you."

Somewhere, deep inside of me, something dies.

I quickly adorned my helmet, to hide the tears that started falling down my cheeks. I then sped off, determined to drown myself in a bottle somwhere.

--------------------------

He left me, standing there on the sidewalk, dying inside.

Before I understood what was happening, I had lowered myself to the ground, head in hands, choking out sobs.

My world crashed down around me, and I was left with nothing.

I don't know how long I was there, but I eventually made my way into the apartment, quickly greeted by a cheerful mother.

"Roxas? What are you doing home?" she asked, too much happiness in her voice for my liking.

"Don't talk to me," I hissed in reply, my eyes still puffy, throat still dry.

I made my way into my bedroom, feeling like a stranger to the place as I tossed my helmet and backpack aside, throwing myself on the bed to begin in a fit of sobbing.

A knock on my door.

"Did Axel break up with you, honey?"

I replied with violent cries.

I suppose she left after that, and I'm quite sure that I cried myself to sleep.

------------------------

I stumbled into my apartment late that night, cursing at the stairs that refused to stop moving.

I heart the soft stroking of the strings on a sitar, and was suprised to find Demyx waiting at the top of the steps for me.

When I made it to him, one hand gripping the railing for stablility, the other clinging to a bottle of liquor, he scoffed.

"You've been drinking."

"Stuffit." I replied with slurred speach, giving him the-one fingered salute.

I moved to walk past him, but crashed into the wall instead. Honestly, it was a wonder I made it home alive.

"He's gone, isn't he?" he asked, his voice concerned and sad.

I nodded in responce, and let myself slide to the floor, taking a swig of my liquor.

"Axel, why didn't you just talk to him?"

I shook my head, and I'm pretty sure I spilled my alcohol. "Can't."

He sighed, and stole my liquor from me, despite my yelling of half-witted obscenties.

"You make me sick, Axel," the sandy-blonde scolded me, "You smell like a bar and a french prostitute. Wait-" he moved down the neckline of my hoodie, "Is that a hicky?!"

I chuckled in my drunken stupr. If there's one thing you should know about me, it's this: me + booze manwhore. Sad, I know, but true.

I was thankful that he didn't mention the lipstick on my collar.

Oh, don't look at me like that! I didn't sleep with her!

Now, I know what you're thinking; How dare I crawl into a bottle to drown my sorrows, when all of this was my fault in the first place?

Well, fuck you my friend. I was miserable, my fault or not. If you couldn't tell, I was less than joyfull about the loss of the love of my life, no matter who was to blame.

So y'know what? Love me, hate me, throw me off a building, or impale me on a spike- I don't care -but don't you dare judge me.

Sooner, as opposed to later, Demyx draggedme into my room, tossing me onto my bed. "I won't let you give yourself alcohol poisoning over this," Demyx stated angrily, removing any and all alcoholic beverages from my home.

"You should be ashamed," he scolded, leaving me, and taking my liquor with him.

I rolled over on my bed, only to find myself face to face with my aqua-eyed other.

His features looked worn out from fits of crying.

"Why, Axel?"

"Fuck off."

"But-"

"Fuck off."

I may have been drunk, but I had enough sense to know that talking about it was surely not going to help.

Eventually, I let myself drift to sleep, certain that life as I knew it was over.

Author's notes: I know, I know, you hate me. I promise it's not forever, though, so please don't decapitate me! ;-; Please review, and I'll have the next chapter up asap!


	13. As the World Falls Down

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Akane-Luff- I'm sorry I made you cry and destroy your can of soda. ;-; And well, I still didn't explain the connection in these next two chapters, but you get some hints::hands tissue:: LadyTori- ::Munches on Demyx's home cooking and chocolate goodies:: The happy will come back, and you can decide for yourself whether or not to kill Roxas' mom somewhere around chapter 15 or 16. Moonlight Mile- Another threat on Ms. Hikari's life, eH? Heh, well... I can see your point. chibi neko doll- Of course you must keep reading! You'll never know what happens if you don't. O.O animebuddy- ::Hands tissue:: It'll be ok, you'll see. I'm sorry for making you cry, too. Kareena- Sorry for getting you down in the dumps. Not sure if these two chappies are much of a 'pick-me-up', but they're getting two step closer to happy time! x fuji x- Thanks! And you'll find out what happens soon enough. Also, Roxas was too busy worrying about Axel to really pay attention. ASKInfinity- Yeah, so the plot thickens and people cry. Happy times will come again though, wait and see. kogalover38- Don't worry, there's still a lot more that is going to happen in the story, so don't go thinking it's over just yet! Mina The Forgotten Memory- ::Eats cake:: Wow, I get a lot of goodies for writing sad stuff. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement! bluemoonalchemist- Yes, there will be butsechs, it may just take some time. IceCold- So, the general masses hate Ms. Hikari. ::shruggs:: Oh well. Here's the continuation you asked for, and soon there will be more! Hitam- I'm glad you're enjoying it! Welcome to the S!CK Reviewer's Family! PapouGirl- You have faith in me? Like... worshiping kind? No? Dang. It was worth a try. AJ Can't Hackit- No deaths just yet, wait and see, wait and see. SaisaishiDragon- I'm gifted? Awesome! Sorry for making you cry too. ::hands tissue:: Axel- I didn't kill you! It will be happy again soon, ok? I luff you. Give me a hug and I might just write faster... Devastaion-Eve- Okie dokie, just get it to me and I'll write it up. Emerald Twin Blade- ::passes out another tissue:: It's not over, don't worry. Here's more, ok? Don't cry... evil-music-in-the-background- ::hands tissue:: don't die! It's here now, ok? Soon the happiness will come back! ScribbleSama- I'm glad that you're enjoying it even though it's AU. As far as the explanation, chapter 15 will have you covered there.

Ok, now that I'm all out of tissues and stuffed with goodies, on to the next chapter!

Chapter 13: As the World Falls Down

I stared down at my hands, my eyes drifting over the creases and lines in them, wondering the mysteries of life and fate.

It had been two weeks since I had last seen Axel. Two weeks since my life had crashed and burned. The lingering pain still had not dulled.

"_If you meet someone three times in the same day, it's destiny._" I heard my grandmother's voice ring through my mind.

Was it really my destiny to be so broken-hearted?

"Roxas," came a voice.

My head snapped up, and my eyes looked to my teacher, Mr. Tychi, towering above me.

I felt my cheeks redden. "Huh?"

"The answer to question eight?"

Crap. I had totally zoned out again. Quick, Roxas, say the first thing that comes to mind!

"Fire!" I called out nervously.

Mr. Tychi raised an eyebrow.

"The square root of 184.6 is _fire_?" he asked, placing a hand on his hip.

I lowered my eyes to the floor. "No, sir."

"Please pay attention, Mr. Hikari."

"Yes, sir."

I heard Olette sigh next to me, and our last class of the day continued.

"Fire?" she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

"Axel." I replied, sighing.

When the bell rang, I grabbed my bag and stood, ready to bolt out the door.

"Roxas," Mr. Tychi's words stopped me in my tracks, as the rest of the class swept past me, eager to leave.

"Yes, sir?"

"May I speak to you a moment?"

I nodded and sat back in my seat until the rest of the class left.

When the last student was gone, Mr. Tychi brushed a hand through his grey hair and stood in front of me.

"I understand that a kidnapping is a very traumatic experience-"

"Sir, I wasn't kidnapped."

He raised an eyebrow and clasped his hands together.

"May I ask what did happen, then?"

I had always known Mr. Tychi as a kind man, and so decided to confide in him.

"When Hayner died, I, well... I met someone who tried to help me with the - pain. It worked at first, but then they asked me to leave, and I was in even more pain than before."

My teacher nodded his head in understanding. "Young love?"

"Yeah?"

The man paced in front of me. "Those are two very difficult things to deal with- especially at once. Let me ask you something, are you sure she doesn't want you?"

_Heh, 'she'. Hell, I'll go along with it._

"Not really. She seemed really upset about it, actually."

"Well then, here's my advice: Find a way to tell her how you feel. Let her know that you still care. If she doesn't respond, then it's just not meant to be."

_"We're just not meant to be!_"

I cringed.

Then I faked a smile, only because I had no way to go about talking to Axel. "Thanks, Mr. Tychi."

I stood and grabbed my backpack, heading for the door.

"And, Roxas?"

"Yes?"

"Try not to let this affect your schoolwork." He winked at me.

"Got it."

I made my way out of the building, and onto the streets to make my way back to my mother's.

Life was a grim one, without Axel there to hold my hand. Everything just slipped through my fingers the way sand does. It was as if there was nothing solid for me to hol on to.

I hda lost any attention span I previously had, and my grades were falling as a result of it. It didn't help that I would lay on my bed and cry instead of doing my homework, either.

To make matters worse, I was certain that I would have a heart attack by the end of the month. Every time I saw a glimpse of red hair, my heart would skip a beat before speeding up with excitement.

Problem with that is, Reno now practically lived at my mother's.

As my new habit, I opened the door to the apartment, tossed my bag down and left promptly, speaking to no one.

It wasn't long before I was walking along the bridge that Heyner and I used to sit at.

I saw a girl sitting on the rail, faced away from me with her legs dangling over the edge. She had blonde hair, lighter than my own, and wore a white dress.

She heard me walk over to her, and turned to me with startling blue eyes. She was very pretty.

"Come here often?" she asked, motioning for me to sit beside her.

"Used to, with my friend." I responded, taking the offered seat.

She nodded, looking down at the water. "Mmm. Same."

"What's your name?" I asked, looking at her. She seemed about my age.

"Naminé. What's yours?"

_Why did that name sound so familliar?_

"Roxas."

"Roxas?"

I nodded. The girl, Naminé, smiled cheerfully.

"I know you."

I raised an eyebrow. "You do?"

"Yes. Hayner's best friend, Roxas."

Strange, I didn't recall Hayner ever mentioning a Naminé.

"You knew Hayner?"

She sighed. "Yes, he was like a brother to me. He reminded me of my real brother. He knew him, too. My brother and I would write letters to eachother, and Hayner would deliver them."

"Why didn't you send them through the mail?"

"My parents forbid me to have any contact with him, and so they would check my mail," she replied, voice growing softer.

"Why, if I'm not prying."

She shook her head. "Not at all. You were a friend of Hayner's. Anyway, they didn't agree with his 'lifestyle', mainly his sexual preference."

I sighed, somehow this all seemed strangely familliar. "That's awful."

"It is," she agreed, before pulling a picture out of her pocket and handing it to me. "It's the only one I have left."

The photo looked owrn, and I could see that Naminé was quite younger in it. I looked to the boy with his arm slung over her shoulders. Blue eyes, sandy-blonde hair styled in a mullet-

My eyes bulged. "Demyx!"

"You know him?"

I nodded, looking at the picture.

"Yeah, he's my boyfr- er... I mean, Axel's friend."

For a moment, she was quiet. When she spoke again, her voice told me that she knew something I didn't.

"I see."

I handed her back the photo, and she took a pencil and paper from her pocket, scribbling something on the paper. She handed it to me, and stood up.

"Call me sometime, Roxas." she said, before leaving me alone in the first place I had ever seen Axel.

Now, more than ever, I realized that there was something that everyone had kept a secret from me. Naminé knew Hayner, and Hayner knew Demyx. If Hayner knew Demyx, it was obvious that he knew Axel as well.

What had they all been keeping from me? What the hell was the conspiracy here?

_The door creaked open, and I grinned at the boy in front of me. Hayner looked at me nervously, but let me inside. I looked down the hallway, spotting a tall figure with red hair climbing out the window to the fire escape._

_"Who was that?" I asked._

_"No one!" Hayner answered, before dragging me to his room._

Oh my God. That memory. It was Axel. The guy climbing out of the fire escape was AXEL.

How the hell did he know Hayner?

I ran all the way back to my mother's and crashed into the apartment, grabbing the phone. I quickly dialed Axel's number, and listened to the ringing.

No answer.

I tried again.

No answer.

Once more...

"This is Axel. Leave a message or fuck off." the phone said to me, and I winced at his voice, waiting for the beep.

"Axel! It's Roxas! Please call me back, I **need** to talk to you."

I hung up the phone and dropped my head, doubting he would return the call.

I kicked a cabinet, and wansered into my room, deciding to do my homework to get my mind off this mess.

No such lock. Instead of writing the answers to my questions, my feelings about the entire situation with Axel poured out onto the paper.

I stared at them for a moment, having just noticed what I was doing.

Then, before I knew it, I was scribbling away madly, every thought that crossed my mind dribbling across the pages of my notebook. All the emotions running through my veins, all the hatred, frustration, and sadness kept inside flowed into lines on the paper before me.

When I was finished, I had all but broken a sweat.

My eyes scanned the papers, reading the emotional lines, barely making out some of the words that were blurred by tears that had fallen to soak the pages.

It probably didn't help, I admit, that I had been writing to fast it was as legible as chicken scratch.

But as I read it over, I felt moved by my own angrily-written literature, finding a rhythm to the madness of the thoughts. It was almost like sad poetry, though I was the only one who knew what it was about.

I put down my pen, and propped my head up on my hand. I was going over my new information.

So, I had met Demyx's younger sister, Naminé. Naminé was friends with Hayner. Hayner was friends with Demyx. I had spotted Axel leaving Hayner's apartment, once upon a time.

As I mulled over this data in my mind, I only grew more and more confused.

After a long time of breaking down the info, putting the pieces together, forgetting it all, and repeating the process, I finally broke it down into one important fact.

This is how I got to it: Naminé knew who I was, through Hayner. Naminé was Demyx's sister, and Hayner knew him as well. It also seemed that Naminé knew who Axel was, and I had seen him leaving Hayner's a week and a half before Hayner's death. Obviously, he knew Axel.

If Hayner knew Axel, and was prone to discussing me with Naminé, then it was likely that Hayner had discussed me with Axel as well.

Which meant Axel knew who I was before I met him.

Unfortunately, I still couldn't add up that information with the chain of events.

Let me tell you, I had one _serious_ headache.

I had to find a way to talk to Axel, I just **had** to.

Now that I knew this much, all I needed was a way.

My eyes again wandered to the paper containing my random scribbles.

And then, fate graced me. I had a plan, a genius plan, that needed to be carried out as soon as possible.

As far as I could tell, my idea was foolproof, one that could make everything right in my world and for those around me.

I grabbed my notebook, ran out the door to my room, and exited the apartment.

The crisp night air whipped my skin as I ran across the city streets, heading in the direction of the subway station.

After wuickly paying for my ticket and boarding the train, I impatiently rode into Axel's part of town.

When the subway stopped, I ran out of the terminal and onto the streets.

I didn't notice the angry stares I recieved, nor would I have cared if I had.

I was a man on a mission.

I made it to Axel's apartment building and shot up the stairs and inside. I skipped many of the steps to the second floor and burst through Demyx's door, huffing for breath.

"Ahhhhh!" Demyx squeeled in fear, falling over backwards in his chair to hit the floor.

I looked at his feet, pointed toward the sky, panting.

"Sorry, Demyx."

"Roxas!?" he scrambled to get up, but hit his head on the table.

"Owwww..."

He finally managed to get into an up-right position and rubbed his head tenderly.

"What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here-"

"I met your sister, Naminé."

He seemed to brighten up very quickly, but I quickly continued.

"I know that you all knew Hayner."

He bit his lip and shuffled his feet, shifting his gaze about the room, avoiding my eyes. I knew that Demyx was not the one to explain it all to me.

"I'm not asking for an explanation, just your help in return for mine."

"Go on."

"I have a plan to get Axel to talk to me, and for you to see your sister."

His eyes brightened up.

"What is it?"

"Ok, the plan is this-"

Author's notes- Wow, I don't let you guys in on anything do I? You'll find out though, soon enough.


	14. A Dream, Discarded

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Yes, I was totally guilt-tripped by you guys into writing two chapters. Well, here ya go. This one is a bit short, but no less important. Enjoy!

Chapter 14: A Dream, Discarded

I sat at the bar, one hand pusing its way through my spikey red locks, the other clasping my drink.

I sighed and looked to the woman beside me. It was Larxene.

"And then you sent him home, just like that?"

I nodded. "Option A was better than option B."

I downed my drink and slammed it one the counter, cueing the bartender to make me another.

The woman exhaled and rested her head on my shoulder as I lit up a cig.

"You're hopeless, Axel." she whispered to me.

I chuckled, before taking a sip of my refilled drink.

"You said you liked that about me." My green gaze looked down at her from the corner of my eye.

She slid her finger from the top of my stomache slowly up to my chest, and spoke into my neck.

"A boy like Roxas is sweet, and you can't help but be nice to him. But you know that I enjoy a real challenge, like yourself."

She bit at my neck and I smirked, slowly but surely getting to a drunken state.

I had resorted to bars, you see, because Demyx had been stealing my alcohol.

"Besides," she cooed into my ear, "You can take any mistreatment I give you."

She dug her nails into my back, and I could feel the pain even through my hoodie.

Again, I chuckled, "Remember where we are, Larxene."

Okay, so maybe I never properly introduced the blonde femme I was now drinking with.

Larxene was, well, if you must know, she was a friend-with-benefits of mine, always eager for the benefits.

Naturally, instead of coping with my pain like any normal human being, I was drowning my sorrows and letting out my frustrations by sleepin with said woman in a drunken state.

Don't you dare judge me.

"I haven't forgotten," she replied silkily.

She started to suck on and nibble at my tender neck, and I all but ignored her, choosing to be more focused on my alcohol consumption.

As I continued drinking, Larxene had rubbed her hands all over my upper body through my shirt, and teased me in every way she knew how. She had even poked her hands under my shirt a few times.

In all honesty, everyone in our circle of friends knew that Larxene had an unhealthy infatuation with me. Sober, I managed to keep her at bay. Drunk, I may have even provoked it.

Upset that I chose my liquor over kissing her lips, she crossed her arms and glared at me ever so slightly.

"Has he really got you so depressed?" Larxene asked me, almost angrily.

For some reason, I couldn't wipe that manic grin off my face.

"I love him." I admitted.

Scoff. "Love is for fairytales, Axel."

"Then where's my shining armor and hapy ending?"

Downed another drink.

"In a book somewhere, being read by a sap."

I turned to face her. "Even so, I kept it all a secret from him."

"You did what Hayner asked you, though. You found him to help with the situation."

"Then his mom found out I knew Hayner."

"Shit happens."

"Like that I fell for said subject?"

Rolled eyes.

"Don't do that, Larxene. It contorts your pretty face. I'd hate for it to stick that way."

"Well, who cares? It's not pretty enough to take your mind off of some boy."

I slammed my fist down on the table, and glared at her with fire in my eyes.

"Roxas is not '_some boy_', and I'll tortch anyone who says otherwise!" I yelled, gaining the attention of everyone in the bar.

I slapped down the payment for the drinks and stormed out.

Larxene was a good friend, and wanted to help, I know, but I was drunken and angry. Now was not the time to be around her.

In the two weeks that had passed, I pretty much stayed intoxicated when I wasn't at work, and had started taking my medication again.

After all, what was the point of trying to co-exist with Riku without Roxas' smile there to cheer me on?

With Roxas gone, there was no light at the end of my tunnel. Said tunnel was now just damp, dark, and cold. I was a dreary existance, wandering though life.

Tripping, and falling off a cliff into the neverending abyss along the way.

Through the course of this two weeks, I can't remember a moment where I didn't think about Roxas.

His shining cerulean eyes, the way his smile warmed my heart, the way his skin felt against mine...

I guessed that by now his pain had turned to anger, and he hated me.

I shook my head and looked up at the night sky.

The thought tore me limb from limb. I was thankfull for the city being so large, not allowing me to bump into the blonde.

I wouldn't have lived through a hateful glare from him, I was sure of that.

The moon shined down on me like an old friend, comforting me with its reflected light as I mounted my bike.

"Roxas..." I whispered, "How can people keep me away from you?"

I never could have known that Hayner's last request would introduce me to the love of my life, or ultimately lead me to a broken heart.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to regret what we had.

Not one bit of it. From the moment I first held Roxas in my arms as he cried, I knew I was doomed. I'm not an oblivious guy, I knew that I had feelings for the boy.

I was about to put on my helmet, when I felt a vibration in my back pocket.

I pulled out my cell phone, and looked at the lighted screen.

Roxas.

I felt a pull at my heart, but refused to flip the phone open. He was better off without me, anyway.

It rang again, and it was even harder not to pick up.

When the third call he made to me came, my heart shattered for the millionth time in just over two weeks.

"Please," I begged in a hushed whisper, "I can't talk to you Roxas. Can't you see that I'm doing this for you?"

The calls stopped, and I returned the cell phone to my pocket, donning my protective gear and starting the engine.

_"Axel, can you promise me something?_

_"Quick, Roxas is here!"_

_"You need to learn to let things go."_

_"If that's how you feel..."_

_"Like brothers?"_

_"I care about you a lot, y'know."_

_"Easy, Tiger, don't tortch the apartment!"_

_"Axel, the thing with my dad is no big deal."_

_"You're that twerp's brother?"_

_"Calling all pyros to the kitchen!"_

_"Axel?"_

_"Axel?"_

_"Axel?"_

Hayner's voice rang through my head and I cringed, willing his voice away.

When I opened my eyes, I had to swerve to miss an oncoming car.

Fuck, and I'm in no position to take a pill.

One head-on collision, a three car pile-up, and a dead cat later (all cause by me though I somehow avoided getting _myself_ into a collision), I arrived safely at my apartment complex.

I made my way into the building, stopping to throw my helmet into my own apartment, before entering Demyx's.

I shoved a pill in my mouth, shut the door, and swallowed.

"Taking _those_ again, I see."

That was **not** Demyx's voice. Nor was it Zexions.

Taking a deep breath for strength, I moved to face the owner of the voice, ready for death.

But there was no glare, scowl, furrowed brow or anything of the sort.

Instead, mournful ocean eyes stared sadly at me under blonde whisps of unruly hair.

My heart melted, and I may as well have died.

"Why are you here?" I asked, suddenly becoming intriqued by the carpet.

"Demyx is still my friend," he answered plainly.

I could feel my hands shake, and made a concious effort to stop it.

Oh, look! A dust bunny!

"Right."

_Talk about blank with a capital 'B'._

I stood there, wobbling drunkenly for a moment, trying to decide how to handle the situation at hand.

"You're wasted, aren't you?" he asked.

Drunken rage in 5, 4, 3, 2...

"I guess I understand."

Correction- utter confusion in 1...

"What?" my eyes moved to meet his.

"A lot of people crawl into a bottle when they're depressed. You are depressed, right?"

I sputtered for a moment, but Roxas didn't wait for an answer.

"I was leaving anyways. Later."

He stood, and walked past me, out the door.

Nice one, stud. There goes Blondie, the love of your life that you let slip away.

I slowly walked to the couch and slid into it.

"Why was he here?" I growled at my melodious friend.

"He wanted to talk."

"You can't just do that!"

"Did you want me to turn him away?"

"You could leave a note on the door or something!"

"Absolutely. Dear Axel, your true love that you let slip away is here. Turn tain now, before he hears you!"

"Prick." I mumbled.

"You did it to yourself," he retorted.

I staggered out of there and went into my own apartment. It looked like it had gone to hell, experienced a tornado, came back, and had a NASA launch inside it.

I slinkied over to my bed and eventually passed out, still drunk.

Damn Roxas and his pretty eyes.

Author's notes: By now, my precious viewers, you know the drill. Leave me some encouraging reviews to get the next chapter up, and your wish will be my command. Love you all sooooooo much! ((Also, check my profile for a teaser of the story to come after this, entitled Moonlight Shadow))


	15. Captivate Me

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: SaisaishiDragon- Evil? Maybe, but here's the update! animebuddy- I might have left it there because I'm evil. Enjoy this chapter. PapouGirl and LadyTori- Nope, didn't know you two were sisters. XD There is some happy in this chapter, but not the uber-happiness to come. HellCat- I'm glad you're so into it! It makes me really happy to hear that from a vetran reviewer of this story. Ladyameena22- I hope this chapter will rectify the fact that I left it off at an interesting spot. Akane-luff- I'm glad you didn't destroy anything in the last two chapters, I'd have felt bad if it were serious. XD AJ Can't Hackit- Poor head::gives chicken noodle:: It makes me happy that you're so intent on reading my story, and it brightens up my day to hear it! Mina The Forgotten Memory- Mmmm, cookie cake. Glad you love my story so much, it's inspiring. Child of Halloween- Thank you, thank you, thank you for all those compliments! But seriously, you're feeding my ego. I don't know what's going to happen with that, but I feel really loved. I'll be sure to read your story, so look for my review! As soon as this is posted, I'm off to do that! HoplesslyxXxLost- Aww, I love you too::Huggles:: Keep those grades up so you can read, though! Grades are important. Anyway, glad to have you back! chibi neko doll- Don't pull out your hair! ' It will all come to light soon, I promise. ASKInfinity- Thanks, and no problem. You just keep on reading. evil-music-in-the-background- Don't give up on love, or fanfiction! Next chapter, cross my heart. Emerald Twin Blade- Whee! It makes me happy to hear that! Here's the update, as promised. IceCold- Not likeable suspicions, eh? Well, no answers today, but next chapter for sure. Just let me live until then, ok? ' noike- Glad you love the fic, and yeah, they will get back together (for fear of getting shot as well as the general plot line) so don't give up on me just yet! Trowa- Welcome to the story! Glad you're enjoying it, can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! x fuji x- ::Hands tissue:: Don't cry::Grabs Adam, her paramedic boyfriend and shoves him toward you:: And don't die! You can't die without knowing how it ends!!! kogalover38- Is this soon enough?

This chapter and all chapters are dedicated to the people listed above, and all my lovely reviewers! I don't write this for my health, y'know, I write this for you guys::Group hug:: Now read!

Chapter 15: Captivate Me

When I got home that night, I found my mother waiting for me in the kitchen. She had her brow furrowed, blue eyes staring me down, and her arms crossed.

"Where have you been?" she asked, beginning her interrogation.

"Demyx's," I replied flatly, "I saw Axel."

She bent over at the waist towards me, "I don't want you seeing him, Roxas."

Guessing that she was concerned for my mental state, I replied with "It's okay, mom. We hardly spoke, it didn't tear me up too bad."

She huffed. "No, Roxas... I don't want you seeing him because he's... he's..."

"Gay?"

"No, honey. I've come to terms with your sexuality _and_ his, it's just-"

It was my turn to huff.

"Yeah, right."

"Roxas, that is **not** it. There's thing you don't know about Axel, honey. If I hadn't stepped in, you-"

"You did _what_?" Reno had appeared behind her, arms crossed and glaring. He had gotten to the question before I had.

My mother looked like a deer in headlights as she turned to Reno.

"What did you **do**?" he asked.

My mother stammered for a moment, looking from me to Reno and back before she could form a sentence.

"I-I... I told Axel to stay away from my son," she replied, sounding fearful.

"What is your problem with my son?" Reno questioned, shifting his weight onto one leg.

"Nothing! It's just... just..."

"Just _what_, mom!?"

"Just something I learned about him."

My mom knew the connection?

"I'm handling that on my _own_, thank you!" I screeched, furious, "So stay out of it!"

"You know?"

"No, but I'm going to find out from Axel himself!"

"Absolutely not, Roxas! I forbid you to see him!"

A vein appeared in Reno's forehead, pulsing violently. I guessed that it was from him that Axel recieved his wild temper.

"That is not your place, Rita! I can't believe you would do such a thing!"

"Reno, I-" she stuttered, trying to find her voice.

"No! I'm not taking your side on this one! What you did was uncalled for, and I'm going to have to think about whether or not I want to be with someone who would do that to my _son_! I really don't think I do!"

I saw tears rush to my mother's eyes, and she dropped her head, willing her hair to cover her face.

"I wanted to protect Roxas," she whispered, voice cracking.

"You hurt him in the process, Rita, think about that."

My mother nodded solemnly, and walked slowly to her room so that we wouldn't see her cry.

I felt for her, I really did. She was my mother, after all. However, she had forced Axel into leaving me, and I was not so quick to forgive.

So now I knew that he had said he didn't love me out of blackmail, and that he was hurting as much as I was. I had guessed that he was hurting before, but now I knew for sure, with solid proof.

"Reno?" I asked, giving the red-haired man a concerned look.

"Yeah?"

"No matter what anyone tells you, you're a good dad, and I know Axel would be proud right now."

He smiled a little and ruffled my hair. "Thanks for that, Rox. I think your mother and I are through, though."

I grinned. "I'll be happy to call you 'dad' when Axel and I are together again. We'll still be family."

He laughed. "I'll look forward to it."

After that, I went to bed, barely able to hear my mother's sobs as I drifted to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone, even though it was a saturday.

I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock, which proudly declared that the time was 10:15. I sighed and sat up, rubbing my aching head.

Lately, I had been worrying even in my dreams.

"Tomorrow," I reassured myself, "Tomorrow Axel and I will settle things and everything will be okay."

I got out of bed, and made my way to the kitchen, making myself a bowl of cereal.

"I'd kill for some of Demyx's home cooking," I muttered, unsatisdied by my Coco Puffs.

With Demyx cooking, I had eated better than I had the rest of my life. My mother was a terrible cook in all honesty, and we normally resorted to TV dinners or take-out. Pizza used to be a big part of my life.

After my mediocre breakfast, I showered and dressed.

I pulled the slip of paper with Naminé's number out from the pocket of yesterday's jeans, and grabbed the phone.

After a few rings, a disgruntled woman picked up. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I asked out of courtesy. When I got a softer-sounding 'no', I continued.

"This is Roxas, is Naminé there?"

_Geeze, her parents even answered her phone._

"Yes," the mother said, "What do you want with her?"

"I was hoping I could take her out tomorrow for dinner and dancing," I answered.

"A date?"

"More as friends, really. I only met her once, but I'd like to be friends."

"Come over today. We have to meet you first, then you'll get your answer."

_Talk about strict!_

"What time?"

"We will expect you for dinner at six. Do you know where we live?"

"Afraid not, ma'am."

"Seventeen Sunset Way, it's in the center of Twilight Village."

Ahh, the rich part of town. Apparently Naminé's parents were loaded.

I scribbled the address down onto a piece of paper.

"I'll see you then, Mrs... Oh, I didn't catch your name."

"Mrs. Motosua." she answered.

"See you then, Mrs. Motosua."

"See you then."

I hung up and sighed. Apparently Demyx hadn't exagerated about his parents.

He had told me to dress conservatively if I had to mee them, and really put the charm on.

I looked at my clothes. Baggy pants and a band t-shirt. Yeah, I'd have to change.

Call me a dork if you must, but I rehearsed greetings and answers to questions in the mirror for a good part of the day. Hey, I was nervous! I had promised Demyx that I would pull this whole thing off, even if it killed me. Which it just might, by the looks of it.

After changing and re-changing a number of times, I finally settles on a plain black sweater and some jeans that were somewhere between tight and baggy.

I made sure that I had my wallet and keys, left a note for my mother, and left to go have dinner with Naminé and her parents.

Thankfully, I had left hella early, because I got ridiculously lost. All those ritzy houses looked the same to me, what with their perfectly manicured lawns and elaborate gardens. When I finally found Naminé's house, I was all of twenty seconds early.

After knocking on the door, I was greeted by the woman I had spoken to earlier on the phone.

She let me in and checked her watch.

"Punctual," she commented.

"Good evening," I replied.

"The dining hall is this way," she said, leading me towards it.

I saw where Naminé got her looks. They looked almost identical, save that the older's hair was pulled into a tight bun.

When we finally made it to the dining room, Naminé and her father were sitting at the table, waiting for us to join them.

When we were seated, Mr. Motosua turned to me.

"What's your name?" he asked, giving me the once over.

"Roxas Hikari, sir." I answered, bowing my head slightly.

Dinner was served, and we started to eat.

"So, Roxas, where did you want to take my Naminé?" Mr. Motosua questioned.

"I was thinking the Gathering. Provided I have your permission, of course."

He seemed pleased with my answer, nodding his head and allowing the softest smile.

"Nice restaurant. Expensive. You have a job?"

"No, sir, my mother feels it would affect my schoolwork."

"Smart woman. Do you make good grades?"

Score 1 for Roxas.

"A's and B's. The B's are in science. It's not my strong point."

"Do you drive?"

"My mother feels that it is improper to drive until age 18."

"You a momma's boy?"

"I respect her wishes, if that's what you mean."

He smiled. "Good boy. Funny hair."

Score 2 for Roxas. Just one more...

"It does that on its own, sir. Not even super glue will keep it down."

At this, he laughed, and Naminé shot me a smile.

Score 3 for Roxas. I knew I was in.

"I like you, Roxas. Polite, but with spunk. You may date my daughter."

Naminé giggled.

"Actually, sir, I was looking for friendship."

"Well the offer will stand, should you change your mind."

"Should I decide to take it, I will still ask your permission." I stated.

If only he knew I was in love with a man, he would not like me so much.

After dinner, Naminé and I were excused to her room, with the door open, of course.

"We're not going to the Gathering," I admitted, once we got in the room.

"I guessed," she said with a smile.

"We're going to see Demyx play at the club."

Naminé looked like she would shreik with joy. "Really?"

"Really, really."

"You'd do that for me?"

"And for him, of course."

"You're just like Hayner said. You really are a kind soul."

I smiled. "You ever seen him play?"

"Not publicly, no."

"He's amazing. We're going to have a blast. Afterwards, he wants to spend time with you."

The girl looked on the verge of happy tears. "Thank you, Roxas."

"It's nothing."

I saw Sora, sitting on Naminé's bed. He was smiling softly.

"You're a good other, too," he told me.

I grinned.

-----------------------------------

I woke up, without the beeping of my alarm clock (In a moment of pure genious, I had turned it off), to an earth-shattering headache.

I grumbled and sat up, rubbing my temples. The light shining in made me slightly homicidal, and I would shoot it, were it possible.

Sadly though, one can't murder light, so I stood and trudged over to Demyx's.

"Good morning, sunshine!" he called all too cheerily from the kitchen.

"I'll set your hair on fire," I threatened, slumping into a chair next to Zexion.

Demyx squeeked and brought me some coffee.

"Sleep well?" Zexy asked, looking at me quizzically.

I grunted.

"I heard you ran into Roxas."

Grunt.

"Hey, if you don't snatch him back up, Demyx and I could always use him to spice up things in bed," he said nonchalantly, trying to get more of a responce out of me.

He got just that when his coffee set fire, as well as his newspaper.

"Do it and _die_," I answered, green eyes threatening.

He didn't move, save so that Demyx could extinguish the flames.

"There's the Axel I know. It's nice to have you back."

I glared.

"You going to quit drinking? I only ask because you're not drunk before breakfast this morning."

I nodded. After what Roxas had said, I knew I wasn't capable.

"Good. It got old, you drunkenly trying to bed my boyfriend."

"Sorry for that."

Demyx laughed nervously.

As sarcastic, quiet, and rude as Zexion could be, he was a good friend. He'd put up with a lot of crap, listened when you needed him, and left you alone when you asked. Good guy.

"Don't worry about it," he replied.

I slurped down my coffee, ate my bacon and smiling chocolate chip pancakes- courtesy of Demyx- and had a second helping before I noticed a notebook lying on the table.

It was blue with "Roxas" scribbled in big letters across the cover.

"What's that?" I asked the blonde sitar player, pointing.

"Huh?" He looked at it, "That's uh... Roxas'. He, uh, accidently left it here the other day."

I raised my eyebrow. "Why'd he bring it?"

"H-he needed help with algebra."

"You suck at algebra."

Demyx's face flushed, and he smiled weakly. "Yeah, I know. But Roxas didn't know that."

"I'm going to go, then. I don't want to be here when he comes to get it."

"He called! He won't be here until later, stay!" Demyx cried out.

I looked at him questioningly. "What is with you, Demyx?"

He shrugged. "I... Well... Roxas met Naminé."

I froze.

"D-does he...?"

"No! She only let it slip that we all knew Hayner. Anyway, Roxas arranged it so that she could come see me play tomorrow."

Sweet little Roxas.

I grinned. "Well, good for you."

"Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm nervous. I haven't been face-to-face with her in years. Would you- Would you come for emotional support?"

"Will Roxas be there?"

"I think he's just dropping off Naminé and leaving."

"I'll be there."

I wouldn't find out until later that Demyx was silently congradulating himself on his acting skills.

Author's note: Ok, so you still didn't find out the connection, but you will for sure in the next chapter! I promise! And the plan in its entirety. Seriously, don't hate me. There might even be a little fluff. It will be a heart-wrenching happy happy joy joy chapter, so don't kill me yet. Oh yeah, and no, Roxas won't really be picking up his notebook from Demyx's. Thought I'd clarify. And well, you know what to do. Click that button and review!


	16. The Heart's Melody

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Ladyameena22- Hooray for scheming! Can't you just see them all huddled together, formulating a plan? What a cute thought! XD echi- Well, here's the very emotional chapter you've all been waiting for. XD I hope it's happy enough! kairiyumi- To happy to express with words that you're enjoying this so much. I feel all warm and fuzzy. HellCat- Yeah, I wuv Reno. He really can be a good dad. LadyTori- ::Jumps up and catches the candies and sparkles:: Weee! The happy is soooo back, but there's still so much to happen with this story. But enjoy the happy! animebuddy- Hopefully this will satisfy, then. I think you'll enjoy it. chibi neko doll- ::Dances in secret yaoi collection:: Yes, it all comes together here. Well, not the Sora and Riku problem, but the other one so yay! Bask in the happy! Alystria- ::giggles with delight:: Happy you're enjoying it! You will see Axel and Roxas together and happy as can be! HopelesslyxXxLost- I luff you too. And hooray for internet time! I hope you get some to read this. kogalover38- I'm glad I update quickly and make you feel fluffy. There's not too much on Demyx in this chapter, because it's focused on Axel and Roxas, but you get the story of that in the next chapter. Mina The Forgotten Memory- W00t, Roxas sticker! I get nifty stuff for this story. I'm special. x fuji x- Ohmygawd, I feel like I have a fan club. That kinda rocks. Anyway, I don't know what I'd do without all of you guys, reviewing and brightening my day! And don't cry anymore, I ran out of tissues. D: evil-music-in-the-background: It's your favorite story? I'm your favorite author? SQUEE! Wow, it really is like a little fan club. XD Ok, so don't explode, here's the next chapter! PapouGirl- Thanks for being patient, and here's the next chappie. Hope I got it up fast enough!

Ok, so here's my official warning for this chapter: Contains some extremely emotional moments, so-sweet-it's-sick fluff, and a much more detailed sex scene than my first one. If you don't like that, suck my lolly! D: So anyway, here's the chapter you've all been waiting for, enjoy!

Chapter 16: The Heart's Melody

I was terribly, horribly, unavoidably nervous as I knocked on Naminé's front door. This was it. Tonight I would be reaching out to Axel with my heart on the line, begging him to take it and keep it in his own.

I almost threw up on the porch.

Naminé opened the door and quickly scurried out, giving me an eager hug. When she saw the look of nausea on my face though, her look changed to concern.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm nervous."

She smiled to comfort me, and she took my hand and lead me torward the subway station. Her touch had an eerie comfort to it, and I felt better.

The two of us were dressed fancily, as if we really were going out to dinner.

"I'm going to feel silly," Naminé told me, "all dressed up like this."

I grinned, "Then you're in luck! When I went over to Demyx's to drop off my change of clothes, he showed me the outfit he bought for you."

Yeah, I had left clothes for Demyx to bring to the show, so that I didn't have to look ridiculously out of place.

Her smile brightened even further when she heard this news, and we boarded the train.

"Really? Demyx bought me a present?"

I nodded.

She opened her purse that was slung over he shoulder, and pulled out a necklace with a sitar-shaped pendant.

"I got him a present, too."

I smiled, imagining how much Demyx would adore the pendant.

"I bet he'll wear it every day."

She smiled, and the two of us continued on our merry way.

We got to the club early, so that I could avoid Axel for a little while, and when I looked around to see if he was there, I was met by no green eyes or wild red hair.

Perfect.

Demyx and his band were setting up on stage, and I saw Naminé's face look longingly at her brother. There was a sadly peaceful look in her eye, and I touched her hand before she moved her gaze to me.

"You wanna go talk to him?"

"Yes."

We strode over, and when Demyx looked up, he nearly choked on the sucker that stuck out of his mouth. Naminé and I climbed up onto the stage, and Demyx stood up as straight as he could.

"Naminé..." he said, his face happy and sad all at the same time, "I... I have something for you."

He ran off for a moment, only to return with a box, and he handed it to her happily.

She opened it, admiring her punkish new outfit, and thanked him, before she took the necklace from her purse.

"This is for you."

He studied it, a goofy grin on his face, and finally put it around his neck. "Thanks, Nami."

Then, her arms wrapped around the older boy, and she held him in a tight embrace.

Demyx looked surprised for a moment, before putting his arms around the girl.

I smiled, watching them.

Slowly, the siblings parted, and Demyx turned to me.

"Your clothes are in the back. Go change, and then you might want to hide somewhere for a little while to avoid Axel."

I nodded, and set off to do just that.

-------------------

When I got to the club, the band was almost finished setting up. A small crowd had begun to form, but I quickly picked out a blonde chick in the clothes Demyx had shown me the night before.

I walked over, and tapped the girl on the shoulder.

"Hope you didn't forget about me." I said as the girl spun around.

"Axel!"

Soon I was tackled by a short femme with an enourmous hug.

"Nice to see you too, Nami. I'm guessing you've already seen Demyx?"

The girl let loose her hold on me, and smiled widely.

"Yes, but not for long. We're going to talk after the show, though."

I grinned. Cute kid, and always so very fond of her brother.

"Well congrats on your reunion." I said, fondly ruffling her hair.

Naminé had become a little sister to our entire gang over the course of the years, and we all loved her as such.

"Axel..." she started, looking away.

"What's wrong?"

"Please, I... Tell me what happened. With Roxas, he said that you... you and he..."

I stopped, remembering that the two had spoken.

"Well, Roxas... We..."

Why couldn'y I talk about this?

"You fell in love?"

I said nothing to that, and Naminé took it as a yes, opting to leave the situation be. I was grateful.

Demyx nervously introduced himself and the band to the crowd, and soon they started to play. I convinced Naminé into being my dance partner, and was suprised to find that such a sheltered girl could dance in a way so modern and daring. We laughed, had short conversations, and admired the talkent onstage as we moved to the rhythm.

When the first song was over, I grinned at the blonde girl.

"I'm going to get a drink, you want anything?"

"Just a water, please."

Always the polite one. I pushed my way through the crowd to the bar, and was met by a familliar face behind it.

"The usual?" the blonde man with many earring asked, putting both hands on the counter.

"Not tonight, Lux. Just a soda and a water."

"You got it."

As I waited for the drinks, I barely noticed Demyx making some more introductions before a soft melody started drifting through the air towards my ears. Then, I heard that voice.

"_When love is true, how can you say 'we're not meant to be'..."_

The voice was not that of Demyx, but it was painfully pleasant.

I turned to face it, and saw Roxas on the stage, nervously spouting the lyrics. I froze.

He held the microphone tightly, and there was a nervous sweat on his forehead. He was dressed in the outfit Demyx had given him, his eyes focused on me.

I felt my mouth drop.

"_My life is you, so why let them pull me away from you?"_

A firey pain stabbed at my heart as our eyes connected. He was singing to me, that blonde brat of my fantasies, and I was frozen still. The beat quickened.

_"I was lost, until you came, I fell in love, you pushed away-"_

I wanted to run.

"_-and forced a lie, why can't you say how you feel about me?"_

I felt myself stumble backwards, bumping into the bar. Then I saw Demyx's mischievious grin.

"Demyx, you bastard..." I mumbled under my breath.

"_Somewhere in my heart, I know I'll love you forever, I'll never get over you, knowing we should be together..."_

My brain told me to run, but my legs turned to jell-o. I couldn't take my eyes off the boy. He was singing to me with all his heart, and I could feel his passion within my own.

_"We can't deny, how the stars all align, every time you look into my eyes, shining down on us, don't let us lose it..."_

The song was coming to an end, the medly growing softer.

_"Tell me how you feel about me..."_

It was over, and the crowd cheered at Roxas looked directly into my eyes, chest heaving.

"Dude, do you want these or not?" I heard the bartender say behind me, snapping me from my daze.

"I-I gotta go," I stammered, before turning to the door.

----------------

I saw Axel turning to leave, and I leaped off the stage into the crowd. I had to talk to him, and I wasn't about to let him get away.

"Axel!" I called out as I made my way through the mass of people.

He didn't stop his casual walk as he went through the door.

I ran out the exit, and quickly caught up to him, grabbing his hand.

"Axel..." I managed to whisper through my heavy breathing.

He stopped abruptly in his stride, before turning to me, a pained look in his eyes.

"I sang that for you..."

He stared onto the street, avoiding my eyes.

"Axel, please. I just want to talk to you."

No responce.

"I don't know what the deal is with Hayner, but whatever it is, I don't care. I'll want to be with you no matter what."

I gripped his hand with both of mine, but he still didn't look at me.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Axel, please..."

"Stop it! You're better off not knowing!"

"But-"

"Just stop! You're breaking your own heart and mine too! The longer you carry this on, the more pain we'll both go through!"

I felt tears stinging my eyes.

"I'm going to find out one way or another, and I'd rather hear it from you!" I yelled back.

"You don't know what you're asking!"

"Then tell me!"

He ripped his hand away from me, despite my hold on it.

"You wanna know?! Fine!" I saw flames flicker across the palms of his hands.

"I dated Hayner for about three moths, okay!? I broke up with him two days before he killed himself, and before he did it, he made me promise to take care of you!"

Flames danced in a wide circle around us and I stepped back, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Are you happy now!?" he screamed at me, enraged.

"N-no." I choked out.

"Well it's too late!"

Suddenly, everything had come together in my mind, and I felt dizzy. The heat from the flames surrounded me for a moment, before they died down and dissapeared.

Axel was Hayner's ex, and his reason for taking his life, amongst other things.

A vein was twitching just over Axel's temple as he glares at me, fists clenched.

"So go ahead and hate me," he said only slightly softer, "I don't care anymore."

My own fists tightened, and I ran at him full speed, pushing him hard into the way.

"You're stupid!"

He let me pin him there, and avoided my burning gaze.

"You do care, but you think you're too tough to admit it!"

"I'm so flattered!"

I pushed him against the wall again.

"Listen!"

He said nothing, so I continued.

"Hayner was my best friend, and yeah, it hurts! But it hurts more when you're not around! It's **you** who's killing us tearing us up inside!"

"Roxas-"

"No! Shut up! I'm not going to let you do this to us! If you're too proud to say it, then I will! I love you, and that's never going to change!"

Tears rapidly fell down my face, and I spoke through my sobs.

"Love is forever, Axel, and I want forever with you!"

My arms dropped to my sides, and I couldn't contain my emotions any longer.

Long, strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me close to a warm body. I cried into his obscene hoodie, and felt Axel place his chin on my forehead. He cooed to me and shushed my sobs until they slowly died down. I tugged the fabric, unwilling to let go.

"Roxas," he softly whispered to me, "I love you, despite everything that's happened. Don't ever forget that."

My cheeks were still stained red when he pulled away slightly, to lift my chin so that I was looking into bright green eyes.

"I love you..." he whispered, before pressing his lips to mine.

Flames crept over my lips, and ran through the rest of my body. I stood on my tip toes, wrapping my arms around him tightly and let the passion flow through me.

It was like my life depended on this kiss, and my heart raced, as our tongues collided. It was like we were exploring each other's mouths for the first time, determined to memorize them. Still, it was not enough to satisfy the feeling in my chest. Before I knew it, I had dragged him to the station, and we were outside his apartment building.

We made out way up the stairs, constantly crashing into walls as our kiss developed further, hands exploring each other's bodies underneath our clothes.

He hoisted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me up the stairs with ease, our kiss never ending.

Soon, I felt my back pressed hard against the door to the apartment, and heard Axel fumbling for his keys. The door flew open, and we stumbled inside, mouths never parting.

Axel kicked the door clothes and we soon fell on to the bed, quickly disposing of our clothes.

When we were naked, I felt Axel's hand slowly run down my chest, and to the length it found between my legs.

I moaned as he stroked it lightly, teasingly, before a wet finger penetrated me.

I groaned into our kiss, before Axel moved down to suck on and bite at my tender neck.

A few moments passed before I asked for another finger. I shuddered with delight when he granted my request, and felt my fingers claw at his back as he left wet kisses across my chest and stomache.

A third finger came and I gasped in slight pain, until I felt a warm wet mouth on my member. My body shivered, and I couldn't stop myself from moving my hips in rhythm with his motions.

My sounds of pleasure seemed to ignite the fire within Axel, as he quickened his pace.

"I-I'm... ready..." I finally managed to say, and Axel moved up to kiss my lips.

I felt him slip inside me, and my back arched with the bond of flame. He took my arousal in his hand, mirroring his hip movements with it.

It felt like my body was aflame with passion as Axel and I made love, and soon I orgasmed with a loud moan.

My climax was enough to send Axel over the edge as well, and he groaned before leaving a soft kiss on my neck and pulling himself out of me.

--------------

Let no man say that make-up sex isn't amazing.

I rolled onto my side, unable to hide my affections for the blonde, displayed so obviously in my eyes.

His eyes returned to emotion, consumed by his afterglow. I took his hand, sitting up.

"Let's get cleaned up."

The two of us go in my small shower, with much laughter, slipping, and falling on each other as we washed.

Yes, this was heaven.

I poured some shampoo into my palms, and lathered it between my hands. I pushed my hands through my boyfriend's wildly spikey blonde locks, massaging it in as he laughed.

"You're spoiling me, Axel!" he said, as we continued to was each other's bodies.

When we finished, I wrapped a towel over his shoulders, and my own around my waist. I picked him up, and carried him out, laying him gently on the bed. However, he wrapped his arms around my neck tightly, and pulled me down with him.

I laughed and planted a kiss on his forehead, rolling onto my back. He rested his arms across my stomach, and laid his head down on them.

"Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not mad. About, y'know..."

I grinned and ruffled his wet hair.

"I'm glad."

He pulled himself up to rest his head on my shoulder, and I placed my arm around him.

"Axel, we're going to have forever, right?"

"Forever."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Roxas."

I pulled the sheets over us, and fell into the best sleep I'd had in my life.

Author's note: That would make a really lovely ending to this story, but unfourtunately the main problem is still not solved, so you'll have to put up with my writing for even longer! Mwahaha! Ok, so you probablt don't mind.

Anyway, I'm holding Roxas hostage, and if you don't review, I'll pump him full of this straight shot::Holds out shot::

Roxas: D: Get this crazy chick away from me!


	17. Destiny's Path

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Emerald Twin Blade- Ok, ok, I'll let Roxas go. And here's the continuation of the fic, though there is much more to come. XD NOT ANOTHER RANDOM PERSON69- Don't worry, you find out all about the escapades of Demyx and Naminé in this chapter. echi- I think you're just reading all the ones with Roxas singing, and missing out on the rest. I rarely read any with Roxas singing. O.o Perhaps I am missing out on those... LadyTori- ::is tackled:: Glad you like it! I'll be sad when it's over too, I so enjoy writing it... animebuddy- Of course there are more problems! I can't just let it end after only sixteen chapters, what kind of writer would I be? Besides, the main issue still has not been resolved. kogalover38- Well, not every day, but I try! I like to update as often as I can, because I know what it's like to wait forever for a story to continue. I'm extremely impatient, so I try to practice what I preach. Aaia- Don't worry, I've released Roxas. Thanks for your review! Alystria- The story shall continue, and I'm glad to hear that you think Moonlight Shadow is an interesting idea. You make meh happy! chibi neko doll- Hooray for energy! And yay for make up smex! Mina The Forgotten Memory- ::Tries too look at the wet 'Good job!' sticker on her forehead:: Water? Suuuuuuuure... . ... XD LKD FEWLZ- I win at life? Hell yeah! I rule::Dances:: ASKInfinity- Vous êtes trop gentil! Ne pas mourir bien que. Akane-Luff- Don't worry, I've thrown away the straight shot and released Roxas. I won't stick you with it, either. XD x fuji x- I've restocked my tissues, and yeah, you totally do get to see Demyx and Naminé interaction in this chapter. Enjoy! Trowa- Indeed it is, I knew my reviewers would agree. HPDMlvr- One of the best AkuRoku fics::cries tears of joy and gives herself a tissue:: I feel so loved... Hitam- Thank you, thank you! I actually haven't written/read many smex scenes, so I kinda wasn't sure if it was well written and whatnot, but you guys seem happy with it, so I am too. evil-music-in-the-background- So it was a good smex scene? I'm happy your faith in love and ff is restored! Even happeir to be a factor in it. :D Ladyameena22- I agree a little, I find it hard for Zexion to show much emotion at all. As noted in this chapter. XD Child of Halloween- ::Backs away:: I let him go, I let him go! And thanks for the loyalty, I'll be waiting for more ChoH fanfiction too. Just read the third chapter by the way, LOVED IT. ::huggles:: PapouGirl- Yes, the happy is back! I can't write too much emo at one time anyway, I'm just not emo enough. o.o HopelesslyxXxLost- Sickly sweet! Here's more! XD kairiyumi- I made your day::more happy tears:: ;-; ... They love me, they really love me... ;-; frogfly- I let him go, seriously. But yeah, here's the requested update!

Ok, I would have posted this sooner, as I really had it written yesterday. However, you can only have insomnia for so long (in my case, three and a half days) until you pass out for a long time (in my case, 17 hours) so I'm sure you understand and will forgive me. Right? ; - ;

Chapter 17: Destiny's Path

When Roxas jumped off the stage I was appalled. Dumbstruck, even. But then, what could I expect? Of course he would go running after the red head of his every wet dream! Surely it was understandable.

However, when the crowd looked from him to me, all I could muster was a simple shrug and a nervous laugh.

I don't work well under pressure, so sue me!

Even with as many times that I found myself onstage, some would say that I have an uncurable case of stage fright. "Wet-your-pants-sissy-pansy-bullshit," as Axel so often put it.

But I'm getting off topic.

I bent down, and picked up the microphone that Roxas had so carelessly dropped to the floor in his hot pursuit of the previously mentioned pyro, and forced a smile.

"Look out, ladies and gentlemen! That guy is a hit-and-runner like a bat out of hell!"

Ok, so comedy was never an option for me as a line of work. However, I succeeded in stealing the spotlight from Roxas' fleeing frame.

The band and I managed to get through the rest of the gig without many more outbursts, and Naminé met me backstage when it was all over.

"Demyx!" she practically squeeled as she smothered me with her joy.

I managed to put my arms loosely around my little sister, despite the fact she had shaken me up a little.

"You were amazing," she praised, "It was like you took me to another world!"

She released me again, and I could breathe. Zexion strolled up behind her, holding out a single rose to me, as he always did when he came to a show.

It was the sweetest thing ever, really, because Zexion was far too unwilling to admit that he did, in fact, have emotions for the whole bouquet. It didn't bother me though, I was always more than happy with the single blossom.

"You were great," he insisted, rather than praised. I was used to this, of course.

"You really think so?"

I hadn't even known that Zexion would show up, really.

My two biggest fans nodded their heads, and I couldn't help but clasp my hands together like the flamer I was and grin like a goof.

Then I regained composure, and looked from my sister to my boyfriend.

"Nami, you remember Zexy, right?"

"How could I forget?"

Zexion allowed the slightest of smirks in responce.

Really, he has emotions, I swear.

"Demyx," my sister began, taking my hand in hers, "I want you and Zex to come home with me. Dad has changed a lot, and I think he's be happy to see you!"

I stumbled backwards, releasing my hand from her grip, and made akward, nervous moves with my arms.

"W-what?! Are you crazy?!"

I couldn't go there, to that house. My fag head would be impaled on a stick, decorating the front lawn, and my body would be put on display in the living room for the whole family to watch rot.

In other words, _Hell no!_

"Really, Demyx! Mom even put a picture of you on the fireplace mantle again."

_Yeah, probably in hopes it would catch fire!_

I shook my head around wildly, eyes pleading, nay, begging the girl before me to regain sanity.

"In case you forgot, Naminé, our parents _disowned_ me. Do you remember why? Because mom's X chromosone and dad's Y chromosone equals a great big flaming fruit!"

Naminé's big blue eyes peered up at me, and I remember thinking that they looked like giant blueberries. So big, round, and terrifyingly **blue**.

Needless to say, it wasn't long before I found myself standing outside the door of the house I had grown up in, preparing for my impending _doom_.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I heard Zexion ask through my violent shaking and the chattering of my teeth.

No, by the way, it wasn't cold outside.

"Y'know, Nami, that show really tired me out," I backed up, waving my hands defensively, "I think I'm going to go home and-"

But the girl grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, causing a slight yelp on my part. She knocked on the door, and grinned widely.

_Was that my life flashing before my eyes?_

No answer. She knocked again impatiently.

_Sad, that was a short flashback. I'm too young to die!_

The door seemed to crack open in slow motion.

_Oh my God, I think I see the light to the other side. I repent, I repent!_

"Demyx?" I heard my mother say.

_Damn. False alarm. It was just a firefly that landed on my nose._

"I-I-I..."

The woman's lips were tight, and there was a look in her eyes than made me want to cower at her feet and beg for my life.

"We just wanted to see Naminé home safely," Zexion said, interrupting my stutters.

_Oh God, Zexy. I truely, honestly love you._

My mother's eyes snapped to meet Zexion's, before she looked to Naminé.

"What happened to Roxas?"

"Something came up, and he had to leave but it's okay. Demyx and Zex took care of me."

My mother said nothing, simply stepping to the side to let us in.

Zexion had to pull my unwilling person through the doorway, as I was convinced my body would burst into flames as that first foot his that perfectly clean hardwood floor.

To my suprise, I was in the house, and had not exploded, lost my limbs, or been scorched upon contact.

That didn't mean I had stopped shaking, however.

The woman lead us to the sitting room, only stopping to call up the stairs for my father.

"Honey, I think you should come down here!"

I winced at her voice, immediately reminded of her violent sob when I had come out of the closet, screaming out things like, 'I've failed as a mother!' and 'How could you do this to me!?'

Not a happy memory.

So the four of us, quickly joined by my father, sat in the sitting room. The eeries, most akward of silences ensuing.

Ok, immagine this: Say you walked up to your parents, and told them you wet the bed while having homosexual sex in their bedroom with a dead prostitute while a monkey smoking crack watched.

Yeah, it was that akward.

Then finally, my father was the first to speak.

"So, Demyx, what have you been up to lately?"

_Screwing my boyfriend, dad._

"Well, uh, I've been... pursuing my musical career."

"Really? What an unstable lifestyle. How do you manage to get by between performances?"

You could just _tell_ he was forcing out every word like they scratched his throat all the way up.

"I'm a phsychiatrist," Zexion stated, "I keep the ship afloat."

"I see."

Monkey-raping-in-your-kitchen-sink akwardsilence.

"I saw Demyx perform today," Naminé said with glee, "He was amazing!"

"Are you still playing that Indian sitar your father and I gave you?" the Mrs. asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

Daddy-I-ate-your-power-tools-and-rammed-your-paper-weight-up-kittie's-ass akward silence.

I stood up abruptly, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come..."

"Demyx!" Naminé pleaded.

"No, Nami, I know when I'm not welcome."

It was my mother's turn to stand.

"Wait, honey."

I stopped, turning to the woman. Those were the first kind words I had heard from her in a long time.

She moved slightly closer to me. "Look, I know this is awkward, but your father and I... well, we're just not used to it." She sighed, "What I'm trying to say is; you're our son, and you will never be unwelcome here."

I smiled ever-so-softly. "Thanks, mom, but I think I should go anyway."

My father got to his feet, and extended his hand towards me. "Some other time then, okay?"

For once, my parents weren't making me feel like a dirty, poor excuse for a son.

"Okay."

---------------------------------

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

A slightly unconcious Axel reached over me, grabbing his gun off the nightstand.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

A couple more weeks of this, and surely I would go deaf from Axel's morning explosion of rage towards his alarm clock.

He grumbled and sat up, forcing a hand through his frighteningly tangled locks.

I rolled over and looked at him.

"Good morning."

"Mrngphf."

I planted a kiss on his forehead, put on some jeans, and left for Demyx's apartment. When I walked in, he was practically having convulsions on his chair.

"What's wrong?"

He looked up at me and smiled as best he could. "Oh! You're here! So you and Axel made up?"

"Yeah, now what's wrong?"

He picked up his coffee off the table in an attempt to drink it, but all he succeeded in was spilling the hot liquid all over himself.

"Fuck!" He grabbed a napkin and started to clean himself off. "I, uh, saw my parents last night."

_Oh. No wonder he was so shaken up._

"Aaaaand?"

"They uh, kind of made amens."

I grinned widely. "Good for you!"

"Yeah."

"He's still kind of in shock," Zexion commented as he strode into the room.

"I can see that. Mind if I use your shower?"

Demyx grinned. "Please, do. You know where it is."

I laughed and made my way there, grabbing a towel and some of Demyx's clothes along the way.

I took off the pants I had worn the previous day, and turned on the shower, stepping into the warm water.

As the liquid rolled through my hair and down my back, I heard Sora's voice from the other side of the curtain.

"Can you feel him?"

I stopped in my grab for the shampoo, and looked at the curtain where Sora's shadow was.

"What?"

"Hayner. Can you feel him?"

I again reached for the shampoo, and poured some into my hand.

"What are you talking about?"

I lathered the stuff into my hair.

"Those who pass live in our hearts and our memories. Can you feel him there?"

I shrugged, begginning to rinse. "No, I guess not."

He sighed. "Do you forgive him?"

_"Roxas," Hayner began, his voice soft now, soothing, "I wanted to share this moment with you. The happiest moment of my life, with the best friend I could ever ask for."_

"I..."

Did I forgive Hayner for taking his life? I really don't know. The sadness that ached in my chest told me that I didn't forgive myself, though, for sure.

"I'm not sure who should really be doing the forgiving," I concluded.

"You can't possibly blame yourself."

"I didn't even _try_ to stop him, Sora."

"He would have found another way."

"You don't know that!"

"He was intent on doing it, one way or another."

"I could have at least tried."

I turned of the water and stepped out, towel-drying msyelf.

"Roxas?"

"Mmm?"

"The road to acceptence is forgiveness."

I nodded as the brunette was probably right. I would accept it eventually. Somehow.

I dressed, and was soon met by a blissfully tast breakfast of Demyx's creation, and a much more awake boyfriend.

"Hey, Axel."

"Hey, shrimp."

Yeah, things were finally back to normal. Well, if you could call a gay relationship between a pyrokinetic asshole and a narotic, confused teen normal. Doesn't matter, this was _my_ normal, and I was happy to have it.

I broght my lips to Axel's and actually enjoyed the taste of cigarettes on his breath.

It was a taste purely Axel, and every time I smelled smoke I thought of him. That or cinnamon. For some strange reason, he always smelled like cinnamon.

I snuggled my face into his neck and laughed at the thought.

"Look, Roxie, there's only so much mush I can take before I explode, and I used it all yesterday." He petted my head, and I understood entirely.

After yesterday, even _I_ needed to remember what dangled between my legs. So, I pulled myself away and grabbed my helmet.

"You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

When we got to the school, I gave him a quick kiss before Pence and Olette ran up.

"You're back together!" Olette said happily as Axel drove off.

I couldn't help but show a beaming smile.

Then, the worst of all things that could have happened walked up behind me with a grand smirk.

"Hey there, fag."

I turned about, and who should I be facing other than a scar-face blonde and his two lackeys.

"Fuck you, Seifer!"

"You'd like that wouldn't you, ya sick freak?"

Olette shook a fist. "He's twice the man you'll ever be!"

The bully laughed, turning to look at each of his friends. "That sounds like a challenge, doesn't it guys?"

Fuu nodded.

"We oughta take 'em down, y'know?" Rai added.

I growled, and then decided to let it go. "I'm not fighting you, Seifer. You're not worth it."

"Chicken wuss!"

I turned, starting to walk away.

"Scar-faced retard!"

"At least _I_ don't take a tube-steak up my ass!"

"Whatever, asshole."

"You probably took it from Hayner, too, fucking flamer."

I think I blacked out then, because the next thing I remember was that I was sitting on Seifer's chest, beating away at his face, his blood covering my knuckles.

It wasn't long before a teacher pulled me off of him, despite the effort I made to kick at his unconcious body, and practically threw me into the principle's office.

It wasn't until I read the words 'Principal Xemnas' on the little nameplate on his desk that I came to realize what I had done.

"Roxas, what were you _thinking_?"

I don't really know why, but I wasn't paying attention.

Hmmm... Principal Xemnas.

X-e-m-n-a-s.

Alternately, that spells m-a-n-s-e-x.

I laughed. Ridiculously.

"Just **what** is so funny about seriously injuring a fellow classmate?" he asked, snapping me out of it.

It may have been my disbelief that I had really done such a thing on school property, or my need to think of something other than Seifer that made me say what I did, but I'm not sure.

"Oh, no, it's not that. It's your name."

"What about it?"

I really, really, REALLY don't know why I said this.

"If you jumble the letters, it spells mansex."

The man stood up, towering over me from the other side of the desk, and hollered.

"Roxas Hikari, you are suspended for two weeks!"

Well, _that_ brought me back to reality.

"What!?"

"You may be one of our best students, and you may have been through a lot of stress, but your behavior is unacceptable!"

I made to protest, by he silenced me with a flick of his hand.

"Give me a number to call to get you a ride home."

Admitting defeat, I dictated Axel's number as he dialed it on his phone.

Author's note: I have released Roxas at your request, but I now have a new hostage!

::Holds up her writing pen::

Review, or the pen gets it!

Pen: D:


	18. Blinding Light

S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: Yes, this is the end of SICK. I know it's a little short, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. This is dedicated to everyone who's been with me from the start, and everyone who's joined in along the way! I love you all and hope you'll continue to read my other fics, as I write them all for you. I'm so sad to end it, but it's just time y'know?

::Sets out a box of tissues::

Feel free to take one if you start crying. I tried not to make it too sad.

Chapter 18: Blinding Light

I was driving my motorcycle, happily on my way to work.

The wind was blowing my hoodie, and I couldn't help but feel so absolutely _free_.

Life was good again; Roxas and I had gotten back together last night, and with him came the spark of light that filled my life. I had gotten rid of my pills, without Roxas even having to request.

That and we had the most intense make up sex known to man. Seriously, I'm telling you, that was the kind of sex people _dream_ about. I had it though, so I am wayyy cooler than you.

I even checked my back in the mirror before my shower, and sure enough there were red marks (some with blood) where Roxas had clawed my back. I could almost feel his nails ripping through my skin even now. _Hell Yeah_.

Anyway, immagine my suprise as I'm rolling down the road and my ass starts vibrating. I wondered who the hell it was, and pulled off to the side of the road. I took off my helmet, and flipped open the beeping device, sticking it to my ear.

"Axel." I stated, a little annoyed.

I was answered by a muffled conversation at first, before some guy's voice I couldn't place.

"Uh... Mr. Axel, are you Roxas Hikari's legal guardian?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Principal Xemnas, from Roxas' school."

"Yeah, sure, what's up?"

"Roxas has been suspended from school for two weeks."

"What!? What did he do!?"

"Injured another classmate and made rude comments toward his superior."

"Fuck."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. So I guess I have to pick him up, huh?"

"Yes. Will you be here soon?"

"Fast as I can."

"We'll be in my office."

"See you there."

I sighed. Well, wasn't _this_ a pleasant suprise?

I dialed my foreman, and told him that I'd be a little late. Then, I was on the road again.

I walked into the main office of the school, ignoring the woman at the desk, moving straight into the Principal's office.

"You're a lotta trouble, shortstuff." I said to the blonde who smiled when I entered.

Not so friendly though, was the look and confusion that crossed the other's face.

"A-Axel Shigamitsu?!"

I grinned and waved in mock friendliness. "Miss me?"

"Y-you can't be here! I have a restraining order against you!"

_Oh yeah, forgot about that._

Ok, one time I set his silver locks on fire. Guess he still wasn't over it.

"You asked me here, man. It won't hold up in court."

He stared at me in shock for a moment, before he pointed at me accusingly.

"How did _you_ get custody of a human being!?" He turned to Roxas. "Are you alright? Does he feed you? Do I need to call damily services?"

I rolled my eyes, and put a hand on Roxas' shoulder.

"There are two other guys who help, ok? Chill out."

"Well, it certainly explains his violence towards your brother!"

I looked to my boyfriend. "You beat the crap out of Seifer again?"

The blonde nodded.

"Way to go, Roxas. Fight, fight, fight."

Xemnass pointed to the door. "Just **go**."

"Later," I called, walking through the door as Roxas followed.

"So," I started once we were out of the building, "What 'rude comment' did you make towards your 'superior', eh?"

"I told him that his name also spelled 'mansex'."

I laughed and slung my arm over the boy's shoulder.

"How did I not meet you sooner?"

-----------------------------------------

"Axel?" I asked, just before he put on his helmet.

"Yeah?"

"Could we go up to the cemetary?"

He smiled at me, knowingly. "You got it, Rox."

We donned our headgear, and Axel drove us to the place Hayner had been buried.

There was only one cemetary in town, so that wasn't the hard part.

When we got there, Axel and I took off our helmets, and I looked at him with sorry eyes.

"Can I... can I visit his grave alone?"

He nodded. "I'll be around here, somewhere."

I must have looked for half an hour before I saw Hayner's grave. Though I was a good distance away, I knew it almost immediately. It was as if it had called to me.

I ran over to it, and smiled at the fresh flowers laying there.

My knees lowered, hitting the ground, and I brushed my fingers softly over the letters of his name.

"Hayner, I whispered, the name floating away with the wind as if to go on to oblivion.

Then, I was surrounded by a blinding light, and my arm moved up to sheild my eyes. It faded, and I put my arm down, observing my new surroundings.

I was in a field, with a forest on all sides. The sky was a brilliant shade of cerulean, and every so often, between blades of grass, there was a dandellion.

"Why are you here?" Although I was not facing the speaker, I knew it was Hayner's voice.

The question was friendly, and the feeling of happiness that came over me caused by this tranquil setting paused my answer.

"I think... I wanted to say I'm sorry." I turned around to face him, and he smiled as he shook his head.

"For what, exactly?"

"I... didn't try to stop you."

He laughed. "Roxas, you were a good enough friend to let me end my pain."

"But... I don't know."

"You need to learn to let things go."

My eyes moved to meet his chocolate gaze. They were just as full over wonder and kindness as they were in life.

"I guess," he shifted his weight onto one leg, "I didn't see how much it would hurt you. I'm sorry, too."

He was so... real. I couldn't speak, couldn't take my eyes off him.

"Wait, what am I sorry for?"

I smiled.

"You can be such a bonehead, Rox."

Laughter emerged from my lips. "Learned from the best, y'know."

"Can it, smart ass. Look... thanks."

"For what?"

"Being the best friend there ever was."

We were back in the cemetary, standing in front of his grave.

"It's time for yo and Axel to moe on, Roxas. Do you want to do it together?"

I looked into the distance, and saw Axel standing at a grave with a female figure. I knew she was his mother.

My head nodded, and my eyes again met Hayner's. "Yeah."

"Then go get him, it's time for your reunion."

I grinned. "Thank you."

My feet started moving on their own, running towards the two- no, three -figures. I felt Sora running beside me, and my smile widened.

It could have been my heartbeat, or my immagination, but I know I heard the beating of a drum as I ran.

_Bum da da dun dun..._

This was it, the moments where I was going to be whole again.

_Bum da da dun dun..._

My heart raced, and I saw Hayner running beside me as well.

_Bum da da dun dun..._

This was going to be the happiest moment of my life. I wanted to share it with Axel, just as Hayner had wanted to share his with me.

_Bum da da dun dun..._

I finally reached Axel, and he turned to me, smiling.

"You ready?" I asked.

He nodded, seeming so calm. There was a spark in his neon-green eyes, though, that told me he was just as nervous as I was.

_Bum da da dun dun..._

I moved to his side, facing Sora, and Axel faced Riku.

_Bum da da dun dun..._

Hayner stood to mys side, taking one of my hands in his, and Sora's hand in the other. Axel's mother did the same with Riku and her son.

_Bum da da dun dun..._

A feeling swept over me, unlike any other. The closest thing I could compare it to was like falling in love. You know, that butterfly feeling and incapability to frown? Add that with fear and stir in the sadness after the perfect dream when you wake up. That's what it was like.

_Bum da da dun dun..._

"I'll miss you," I told Sora.

"I'll never be gone. We'll finally be together again."

My lips curled up even further.

"I had a fun time, being with you."

"There's even more fun to come."

Hayner, and Axel's mother then spoke in unison. "Ready?"

The two of us hesitated, taking a glance at each other for strength before responding.

"Yeah."

Hayner brought my hand to meet Sora's, and Mrs. Shigamitsu mimicked with the hands she held.

When Sora's hand touched mine, it was like a tidal wave of happiness and tranquility of the purest kind.

He dissapeared like sand before my eyes, the tiny pieces of him merging with my body.

I could feel him become one with me, aligning in perfect eclipse with tingles going through my body.

It was magical, and breathtakingly warm in its nature. My entire self seemed to glow with unnatural light, and I closed my eyes, taking him in.

When the pieces were almost finished melting together, my eyes opened, looking at myself.

"Nothing's changed, Roxas." Hayner said comfortingly.

I could feel him, Sora, flowing through my veins. My heart was delightfully warm, all the empty pieces of me filling up.

_"I want to line the pieces up, yours and mine."_

Sora's voice spoke to me one last time, and the last bit fell into place.

I was one person, unified.

Hayner started to walk away, but I turned to him. "Where are you going?"

"I've done what I came to do," he explained, "It's time for me to go back."

"But... I'll miss you."

"Did you forget already? I'm always with you, in your hear, no matter what."

I nodded in understanding. "Goodbye."

"I prefer 'later'!"

He continued on his way, slowly dissapearing from sight.

Hayner was right, I would never be alone. He was part of me, now and forever.

There was a tap on my shoulder, and I turned to face Axel.

"You alright?"

"Yeah," I managed, "I think that I finally am."

"Me too."

"As long as you're here with me, life is always going to be oerfect."

He slung his arm around me, and we walked back towards his bike.

"Guess you're stuck with me, then."

"There's no one I'd rather be stuck with."

For a moment in time, I was Sora smiling at Riku, and Riku was grinning back.

I almost find it funny, looking back, that such a thing happened where it did.

I was happy, extremely so, and everything was as it should be. I'm not saying that everything went according to plan after that, because it didn't, but life was better than I could have possibly hoped for.

In less than a month, I had lost everything, found happiness, and repeated the process once more. Funny how it happens like that.

But most people think of mourning and sadness when they think of a cemetary. They remember the loss of loved ones, the empty feeling in their heart where that person had filled them up with joy in life. I used to feel that way too, even sometimes dreading passing them. They were sad, depressing places to me and I loathed them.

Not anymore though. Now they made me feel the warmth and joy I felt when Sora and I were together again at last. I would never forget that feeling.

"You wanna go move your stuff back into my apartment?" Axel asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah, and this time it stays there for good."

Strange, thinking that cemetaries usually signified then end of someone's life. For me and Axel, though, it was just the begginning.

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Author's note: It's over and I'm sad. Still, please review! And that means all you people that favorited this story, too. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Also, I've posted the prologue for Moonlight Shadow, so be sure to check it out! THANK YOU SO MUCH to all those who reviewed and urged me to keep going! Without you, none of this would have been possible!


	19. Deranged

Author's notes: Another chapter of SICK!?... Nope. Better. This has been put here to tell you all that the first chapter of SICK's sequel, DERANGED, has been put up, and that it is going to be updated on a regular basis (now that I have time and succumbed to the plot bunnies), for your reading pleasure! I know that not all of you have me favorited as an author, but just the story, so I decided the best way to make the announcement was by posting this, along with a teaser, so that you need not go uninformed. So go, READ!

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Darkness. It's more than just an absence of light, it's an escape, the essence of evil in today's cultures, the embodiment of misfourtune, sadness, and hate. At least, that's how most people look at it.

I, however, don't quite see things that way. To me, darkness really isn't all bad. I mean, just think; how beautiful is it at night, when the scenery is void of all light? How can something so beautiful possibly be such a bad thing? It isn't, really, it's just that you've been taught to believe what you do. It all stemmed from the human's fear of the unknown, because you can't see what's coming at you in complete darkness. If you ask me, we are the most cowardly of all creatures, for that reason alone. Besides, light would ruin the surprise.

----------------------

Moving on, it's only two days until Christmas, and we've been here for a week now. We'll be staying until the twenty-eigth, because that's all the time Axel could get of work.

---------------------

The kitchen's cabinets came out from the wall in the center to create a closed-in feeling for the kitchen, jutting out to create a divider from the living room with an attached wall. That, I'd already noticed, obviously. But what I saw now, was that the counter went out a bit father than the cabinets, and what I had mistaken for a shelf on the last cabinet was actually more like a stair. Looking up farther, I saw that there was a decent-sized space between the cabinets and the ceiling, and a window shedding light boyond it, giving evidence that it was a crawl space, or a tiny little room up there.

I grinned at my discovery, pulling myself up onto the counter, and bringing myself to a standing position on it. Then, Igrabbed the top of the cabinet for support, and hoisted myself up onto the step, finding that it was pleanty sturdy, and began to hoist myself up.

"Hey!" Axel called, apparently looking up from the television to see me climbing all over a place usually used in food preparation. He raised an eyebrow as I continued to pull myself up, and crawl along the cabinets.

"I- I think... yeah! There's a room up here!" I called back, and soon I heard footsteps coming into the kitchen- three pairs, to be precise.

--------------------

Looking back, I should have known that an almost secret room in a cabin in the mountains could never have lead to anything good, but what can I say? Sometimes, I'm naive.

I should have listened to Zexion.


End file.
